CHAPTER 19
Once you choose hope, anything’s possible.
—Christopher Reeve
“Please don’t say that because you think I’m mad—”
She never got to finish that thought because he was too busy kissing her with deep, penetrating strokes of his tongue.
He kissed her until she was weak beneath him, until all the fight had gone out of her, until she couldn’t resist him, as if she ever could. “I would never say something I’ve never said to any other woman only to get out of trouble.”
“You’ve never said that to anyone?”
“Nope.”
“What about Dalia?”
With his eyes open and fixed on hers, he shook his head and then kissed her again. “I was saving it for you.”
“Gavin,” she said with a sigh. “Please don’t walk away from me again.”
“I won’t. I promise.”
“I love you, too. I’ve loved you for so long I don’t remember a time when I didn’t love you.” Ella would never forget the way he looked at her as he kissed her again and again and again.
They began to pull at clothes, equally frantic in their efforts to bare each other.
The flannel pajama pants he’d admired ended up tangled around her ankles. His jeans were pushed down only far enough to free his cock, her T-shirt up only high enough to reveal her breasts.
This was madness, she thought. Utter madness. And love. Gavin Guthrie loved her. In light of that amazing revelation, all the pain and agony of the last few months fell away into the nothingness of the past. What did it matter now that they had this, now that they had each other? He plunged into her, his fingers digging into her shoulder and hip as he held her in place for his fierce possession.
“God, Ella . . . You feel so good. So hot and tight.” He swooped down on her mouth, his tongue mimicking the strokes of his cock as his chest hair abraded her nipples.
It was too much. It was not enough. It was everything she’d always known it would be but so much more, too. He’d never been like this before, unleashed and unrestrained, and she loved it. She loved him. How freeing it was to be able to admit that to herself and him, too.
He broke the kiss and shifted his focus to her nipple, sucking and tugging and licking while she held on tight to his hair, as if she could control the uncontrollable.
“Ahh, Ella. Ella, Ella, Ella . . . I love you so much.”
His words triggered the release that had been building from the moment he brushed his lips over her knuckles. She came so hard she saw stars.
“Oh Christ . . . Ella . . .” Groaning loudly, he rode her orgasm into his own, surging into her repeatedly until he dropped, spent, on top of her. “Wow.”
“Mmm, wow indeed.” She ran her fingers through the damp strands of his hair, loving everything about him, even when he was sweaty. That thought made her giggle.
“What’s so funny?”
“I was just thinking that I even love your sweat.”
“That’s sexy, babe.”
“It is. I love that I made you sweaty.”
“You make me very sweaty, among other things.” He ran his hand over her hip, up to her ribs, stopping to cup her breast. “Are we going to be okay, Ella? Are we going to be able to make this work?”
“As long as you stay with me rather than running away when things get hard.”
“I will. I’m here to stay.”
“Then we’re going to be just fine.”
* * *
They slept in the next morning and stopped at Megan’s diner for breakfast before heading to their afternoon shift at the Christmas tree farm. As they got out of Gavin’s truck, Landon walked over to greet them. He wore his usual seasonal uniform of heavy coveralls, a skullcap and leather gloves. His face was red and ruddy from the hours spent outside in the cold. He shook hands with Gavin.
“Thanks a lot for coming to help,” Landon said.
“My pleasure.”
“I’m not sure we can afford a professional tree cutter of your caliber,” Landon said with a teasing smile.
“I’ll give you the friends and family rate.” Gavin paused before he added, “Thanks for what you did last night, Landon. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble.”
“You didn’t,” Landon said, his amiable expression hardening. “He did, and we don’t want his kind around here. Personally, I can’t believe anyone in this town would say such a thing to you, knowing who you lost over there.”
“Means a lot to me. Thanks again.”
Ella rested her hand on Gavin’s back, offering her support.
He smiled at her and put his arm around her. “Is this where we go our separate ways?”
“Yep,” she said. “I’ll be over there.” Ella pointed to the shack where her mother and Aunt Hannah were doling out hot chocolate, cider and donuts to families who’d come to tag their Christmas trees. By next weekend, they’d be returning to cut them down and take them home.
“Come on, Gavin,” Landon said. “I’ve got a whole bunch of cutting for you to do.” In addition to the tag-and-cut program, the Stillman Family Christmas Tree Farm supplied trees to retailers all over the state and the rest of New England.
“I love to cut,” Gavin said. Before he let Landon lead him away, he kissed Ella square on the lips in front of her brother, her mother, her aunt and anyone else who might’ve been looking. “Save some hot chocolate for me.”
“Oh, um, I will.”
He smiled at her before he walked away, whistling as he went.
Ella watched him go, her lips tingling from the kiss. In four hours, they could make their escape and return to his place until family dinnertime tomorrow. She couldn’t wait to be alone with him again. Turning to head for the shack that housed the concessions and cash register, Ella found her mother and aunt watching her.
“What?” she asked them.
“You,” Hannah said. “Kissing Gavin Guthrie in public all of a sudden.”
“It’s certainly not all of a sudden.” Ella stepped into the small wooden structure, where the scent of chocolate and cider mixed with the pervasive fragrance of Christmas coming from the thousands of trees on the property. Ella loved it here. She always had.
“Is that right?” Hannah asked.
“Uh-huh,” Ella said.
“You approve of this?” Hannah asked her sister.
“Hardly matters if I do,” Molly said. “Ella is a grown woman who knows her own heart. But for what it’s worth, I think the world of Gavin, just like I thought the world of his brother.”
“He sure is easy on the eyes,” Hannah said, making them all laugh.
“You don’t know the half of it,” Ella said with a dirty wink.
“Oh my ears!” Hannah said, covering them while Ella laughed again. “On that note, I’m outta here since my relief has arrived.” She kissed Ella’s cheek. “I’m happy for you, Ella. I hope it works out for you two.”
“Thank you, Auntie.”
“I’ll talk to you this week,” Hannah said to Molly.
“Yes, you will.”
After Hannah left, Ella rang up a young family that had tagged a tree and bought a wreath, hot chocolate and donuts. The kids, who were maybe five and seven, were bundled up and bursting with Christmas excitement. Thanks to her work at the store and full immersion in the season, Ella had never lost that feeling. Christmas was still her favorite time of year.
It would be even more so this year, with Hunter and Megan’s wedding the weekend before the holiday.
Watching the kids consume their donuts with barely restrained glee filled Ella with yearning for the family she’d nearly given up on having. Last night, Gavin had told her he loved her. In the bright light of day, everything seemed possible now that she knew for sure he felt that way about her. That changed everything.