When her eyes filled, she looked down, desperately trying to control her emotions. The last thing she wanted to do was break down in front of his parents or her siblings.
A warm hand curled around hers with a gentle squeeze.
Ella looked over at Megan, who was sitting next to her. Megan continued her conversation with Hunter, Will and Cameron without missing a beat. The show of quiet support from the woman who would soon be her sister-in-law touched Ella deeply.
Despite the agony of what had transpired with Gavin, Megan’s thoughtful gesture reminded her that she was not alone. In her family, she would never be alone, and for that, Ella was especially thankful today.
* * *
Ella’s flight landed in Providenciales an hour after the others. She’d told them not to wait on her, but she wasn’t surprised to find Hannah and Nolan in the terminal when she cleared customs. He scooped up her bag and carried it to the car from the resort that awaited them.
She hugged Hannah. “I told you not to wait.”
“You’re not the boss of me. I’m the big sister—and getting bigger by the day. How was the flight?”
“I don’t really know. I slept for most of it.” The empty seat next to her had been occupied by someone from coach, who’d been thrilled to get the upgrade to first class. Ella tried not to think about the thousand dollars she’d spent on a seat for Gavin that had gone to waste. She ought to send him a bill.
“That might be a blessing in disguise.”
“Everything hurts, Hannah. Every part of me hurts.”
“I know, honey.” Hannah linked her arm with Ella’s as they followed Nolan to the car. “And it will for a while, but we’ll get you through this. We’re going to have a wonderful time here. A week in the tropics is just what the doctor ordered for all of us.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
On the short ride to the resort, Ella tried to appreciate the brilliant blue sky, the palm trees, the gorgeous views of the water and scenery, but the dull ache inside had her full attention. It only intensified when she was shown to her romantic, seaside room with the huge king-size bed that reminded her of just how alone she really was, even with Hunter and Megan on one side of her and Hannah and Nolan on the other.
A knock on the adjoining door had her opening her side to Hunter.
“Hey,” he said. “How’s your room?”
“Spectacular. How’s yours?”
“Same.” He eyed her carefully. “You okay?”
“I’ve been better, but I’m determined not to be a total drag this week. We’ve all earned this break, and I won’t spoil it for everyone.”
“No one is worried about that, Ella. We’re far more worried about you.”
She shrugged off his concern. “You all tried to warn me. It’s my own fault.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s his fault. He’s a fool, and he knows it.”
“Regardless of whose fault it is, it’s over, and I’ve got to accept that.”
“It may not be over. You never know what’s going to happen.”
“I think it has to be over. I can’t keep doing this to myself. What’s the definition of stupid? Doing the same thing over and over and hoping for different results. That’s me.”
“You’re anything but stupid, Ella.”
“I’d be completely stupid to stay on this merry-go-round any longer.”
“Do yourself a favor, and try to put it aside this week so you can enjoy your vacation. Some time and space away might help to give you some perspective.”
“Perhaps,” she said, saying what he wanted to hear mostly because she’d already made up her mind. No amount of time in the sun would change the irrefutable fact that she and Gavin were just not meant to be as much as she might wish otherwise.
When a knock sounded on the other adjoining door, Ella went to admit Hannah and Nolan.
“Ready to check this place out?” Hunter asked the others.
“Whenever you are,” Hannah said, glancing at Ella, who nodded. If the alternative was sitting alone in the romantic room she’d expected to share with Gavin, then yes, a walk around the resort was preferable. “What about Will and Cam?”
“They’re ‘napping,’” Hannah said, making air quotes around the word napping.
The ache inside Ella intensified at that news. She wanted to be “napping” with Gavin, but that would never happen again. “Let’s go,” she said before she could break down into a sobbing mess like she wanted to.
With the sun shining warm upon them, they walked on winding paths through lush, fragrant vegetation, past a crystal-clear pool with a swim-up bar that Hunter said he couldn’t wait to put to use. Beyond the pool area, they stepped onto sugar-white sand that was warm under their feet and walked to the water’s edge. Ella had never seen water so blue in her life.
It was the most beautiful place she’d ever been, and the thought of spending a week here surrounded by happy couples who were madly in love suddenly seemed like the worst idea she’d ever had.
She wished she were home on her sofa with Ben and Jerry, nursing her wounds in private the way she had in the past. Staring out at the endless blue Caribbean, she decided she’d stay for the wedding and then get the hell out of there on Sunday. It was a big week in the store. She’d be better off there than here wishing for things that would never be.
* * *
Ella was having a late lunch with her siblings and their mates when Dylan and his fiancée, Sophia, found them. His eyes danced with joy as he hugged each of them. He was tall, blond, muscular and handsome. Sophia was tiny next to him, and she, too, glowed with happiness and excitement. Ella felt small for being envious of a woman she hardly knew. What must it be like to be about to marry the man you love, to have all your decisions made and the future laid out before you with as much certainty as anyone could ever hope to have?
“Thank you for coming so far, you guys,” Dylan said. “Means so much to have you here.”
“It’s certainly no hardship,” Hunter said, gesturing to the beautiful view of the Caribbean from their table.
“I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know.”
Ella kept waiting for him to ask about Gavin, but when he hugged her, he only said, “I wondered if he would come. I didn’t tell anyone he might. Just in case . . .”
She gave him a wan smile as she fought through her emotions. What did it say that even his close friend had expected him to bail, but she’d never seen it coming? “We tried.”
“No matter. I’m thrilled you’re here, and we’ll make sure you have a great time.”
“Thank you, Dylan. Sorry to crash your party.”
“You’re not crashing. Not at all.”
“You’re very sweet to say so.”
He squeezed her shoulder. “Where’s Will? He’s here, right?”
“The newest of the newlyweds are napping,” Hannah said disdainfully.
“Lose the attitude, Mrs. Roberts,” Nolan said. “You’re going to be napping soon, too.”
“Good napping or the kind where you actually make me sleep?”
“Both if you’re very lucky.”
Ella stood somewhat abruptly. “I, um, I’m going back to the room for a little while. I’ll catch up with you all later.”
“Ella—”
“I’m fine, Hannah.” Before she broke down in front of all of them, she walked away, certain she—and Gavin—would be the topic of conversation after she was gone. What did it matter? Let them talk. Hopefully, in a few months, everyone would forget they’d ever been together. Especially her. If only there were a pill she could take to wipe her memory clear of the incredibly special moments she’d shared with him. Right about now, she’d give everything she had for that pill.
On the way back to her room, she ran into Gavin’s parents, who looked to be on their way to the pool or beach. She hadn’t really gotten the chance to talk to them earlier with the others all around them.