48204 was considered one of the top most dangerous zip codes in the United States and once my home. In the in-between periods when my mom didn’t have a sugar daddy, we’d lived on the top floor of a crumbling Victorian. Instead of imaginary friends, I had rats that lived in the walls. They were a family with a single dad and his two daughters. Hector, Luanne, and Lucy. Big Ted lived in the apartment two doors down. Swapping drugs was the equivalent of borrowing a cup of sugar. For my mom, it was the ideal set up. For me, it was a house of horrors. I used to think the shadows dancing on the walls were monsters, waiting until my eyes closed to eat me. My saving grace was Monica. We’d met in third grade when she let me borrow her crayons because she thought the clouds I was drawing weren’t pink enough. We were attached from the hip from that day forward. Adopting her home as mine, Monica’s grandmother basically treated me as her own granddaughter. I left home at the age of seventeen and hadn’t been back to my neighborhood since. The homeless shelters, Monica’s house, and street benches were on the other side of the 39 freeways. Far away from 1936 Rosemary Lane.
Adding a swipe of blush, I twisted my hair into a knot. The mirror reflected a scared little girl whose tough exterior was crumbling. Since moving into Andrew’s, the need to put on an act wasn’t as dire anymore. He knew who I was and liked me all the same. Nonetheless, that mask was essential to surviving this money drop off. I slipped it on. My features hardened, my eyes became flat, and my lips thinned. Shaking out my shoulders like a boxer preparing to battle, I psyched myself up. There was no other choice. Sumiko depended on me. Once my armor felt locked into place, I walked into the kitchen. Andrew had poured coffee into a thermos and set a blueberry muffin on a plate. While normally my appetite was a black hole, my stomach couldn’t handle anything at the moment.
Andrew handed me the thermos. “We should get going.”
“Yeah, we should.” Yet my feet wouldn’t move.
“This is a simple job, Haven. You give the money to Big Ted and leave. Then this whole thing will be behind you.”
“Will it though?” My eyebrow arched. “What if this is just a ploy to shake me for more money? I give him this check and then what? Walk away? Nothing is that simple.”
“I don’t know how to reassure you because your past and the people attached won’t go away. Physically maybe, but not mentally. That’s a whole other battle you have to fight. Just know that I’ve got your back.”
Gratefulness wrapped me in its embrace as I looked at Andrew. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
I unscrewed the top of the thermos and drank deeply. Wiping my hand across my mouth, the smooth acidic taste of coffee lingered on my tongue. Since it was too early for a shot of tequila, liquid courage in the form of caffeine would have to do.
I nodded. “Ok, let’s go.”
Andrew’s car roared to life and before I could let doubt creep in, we drove head first into my childhood.
The neighborhood hadn’t changed a bit. Houses that were skeletons of their former selves loomed over the streets, paint peeling off in ribbons. The crater-sized holes I almost killed myself riding my bike over weren’t fixed and the lawns weirdly green as ever.
Slowing to a crawl, Andrew peered out the window. “Which one is it?”
“It should be up ahead to your left.”
My hands knotted in my lap while nerves tumbled in my stomach. I hoped Big Ted met me outside. I didn’t want to go inside that rat infested shit hole called an apartment building unless necessary. Did Sumiko live there now? I hoped not, however, addicts stayed wherever the drugs were.
“It’s that one.” Pointing to the Victorian house with the gingerbread trim, my stomach lurched. “Jesus, it’s worse than I remember.”
“It’s not so bad,” Andrew said skeptically.
“What are you talking about? A gust of wind would knock it down.”
Three men sat on the sagging porch, smoking a cigarette. Their beady eyes trained on Andrew’s beamer. Rap music blasted from a stereo next to them and an urge to clutch my pearls overcame me—even though I didn’t own pearls, never had. Six years away and the street kid inside me had been obliterated. No time like the present to reclaim it.
“Stay in the car.” Unbuckling my seat, I tried to keep the quiver out of my voice. “I’ll be right back.”
“Are you kidding me? I’m not letting you go inside there alone.” His cheeks reddened with anger as he drew an imaginary line in the air. “You see this? This is the rational side and right now you’re on the insane side. Let’s jump back over.”
Although Andrew didn’t appear as if he had money, due to the fact he dressed like a skater boy, his mannerisms and the way he talked were a dead giveaway. Big Ted would certainly want additional income as soon as Andrew opened his mouth. Drug dealers saw people as two things: banks and clients. Andrew was a bank and he was already risking his career by loaning me the seven hundred dollars.
I laid my hand on his arm. “I appreciate your concern but this is between me and Big Ted. You have done enough. Please, let me know handle this on my own.” Andrew scowled and my gaze softened. “I have survived twenty-three years without you.”
“I know you have but I don’t like the idea of you going in there unprotected.”
“I have my cellphone on me. If anything bad happens, I’ll text you 911 and you can bust in there, guns blazing like Rambo.”
Trying not to smile, his upper lip twitched. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. A telltale sign I had won this round.
Kissing Andrew on the cheek, I opened the car door. “Remember Rambo.”
“I would channel Rambo and a million other action heroes to save you,” he said sincerely.
My heart grew five times over. “I know you would.”
The car door slammed shut and I faced the house that stored my demons. The men on the porch curled their lips as my shoes smacked against the cement pathway. They clicked off the stereo. Tension coated the silence. I squared my shoulders while my hand reached into my pocket. The canister of mace rested comfortably in my palm.
The man closest to the railing stood. Burn marks mottled his cheek. “Where do you think you’re going, girly?”
“I’m here to see Big Ted.”
The other two cackled. I looked at all three of them like the scum they were. “It’s not a joke. He is excepting me and if you would step aside, I can go along with my business.”
The man with the burn marks stepped closer. His sour breath reeked of sauerkraut and cigarettes. I resisted the urge to puke on his grime-covered sneakers. “What business do you have with him?”
My eyes met the man’s in an unspoken challenge of who would back down first. It sure as hell wouldn’t be me. Rolling over meant getting kicked until your ribs broke.
“Hey! She’s with me,” Big Ted barked.
The air of hostility shattered. The man’s head swiveled over his shoulder and when he saw Big Ted standing in the doorway, he shrunk three sizes. He hunched his body in on itself.
A self-satisfied smirk spread across Big Ted’s face like he was pleased at the amount of power he still held. His gaze focused on mine. “You’re here.”
“I am. Where else would I be? Your threatened the lives of everybody I love if I didn’t get you this money.”
He shrugged. “I didn’t think you loved anybody.” Crossing his arms over his chest, he looked at the street. “Guess I was wrong.”
I followed his gaze. Andrew was halfway out the car with a strained expression. I knew he wanted to act on his alpha tendencies and come to my rescue. He had no idea how much it meant that he respected my wishes to stay put. Andrew’s dark eyes wordlessly asked if I was ok. Nodding, his features didn’t appear any less strained.
Do I love Andrew? It was too early to tell but I did care about him a whole heck of a lot more than I was comfortable with.