“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Andrew didn’t answer as he brushed past me. Irritation nipped at my nerves from being ignored. I thought we were past this point in our relationship.
“Hey!” My voice called to his retreating back.
He glanced over his shoulder and the haze of distraction lifted from his eyes. “Sorry. Did you say something?”
“Yeah, I asked what was wrong.”
“Oh nothing.” A beat passed. “Nothing is wrong. Matthew wanted me to a draw a banner for his son’s surprise sixth birthday party this coming weekend.”
Stung he was keeping something from me, I pressed further. “Really? Because if that was the case then why did Matthew have to drag you away?”
“Didn’t you hear the word surprise in that sentence?”
“Yeah, but it’s not like I’m friends with any of Matthew’s or his wife’s friends. Why would it matter if I knew or not?”
Andrew exhaled an exasperated breath. “I don’t know, Haven. I’ll be in my art studio.”
Fumes steamed from my ears. How dare he decide to end the conversation when it clearly wasn’t over yet?
Andrew stomped up the spiral staircase.
With each step, I felt the chasm between us grow wider. The trust I distilled in him was as fragile as glass. I hoped this was a minor incident and whatever was bothering Andrew would be revealed. Otherwise, the glass would shatter along with our relationship.
Around three in the morning, Andrew finally crawled into bed. The smell of oil-based paint clung to his skin, which had a chemical undertone. His rigid frame was a dead giveaway whatever plagued him hadn’t been resolved. I waited for him to cuddle up next to me like he normally did. Tension coated the silence. The rhythmic sound of his breathing grew slower.
Before he could succumb to sleep, I rolled on to my side and faced him. “Andrew?”
He was staring at the beams of light dancing on the ceiling. As he turned his head, my breath caught. Behind his eyes, a war raged. For a moment, I rethought my decision about figuring out the truth. However, I wanted to help and I wanted him to let me help.
“Hm?” he murmured.
“As soon as we became a couple, we became a team so whatever problems or worries you have are mine as well,” I said.
“I know, babe. Come here.” He opened his arms and I rested my head against his chest. “I feel like I’m always apologizing for being an ass,” he said.
“Not all the time.”
“A majority of the time. Look, you aren’t the only one who has issues with letting people help them. I’m not sure if it’s a pride thing for you but it is for me.”
I snorted. “You and ninety-nine percent of the male population.”
“Smart ass.” I could hear a smile in his voice as he lazily stroked my hair. “Would you understand if I needed to process my feelings and thoughts before opening up?”
“Of course, just don’t act emotionally distant and cut off when doing so.”
“Understood.”
Our relationship back on stable ground, I snuggled into his side. Monica’s grandma had taught me communication was the key to forming a lasting partnership. Otherwise, lamps would have been thrown and insults exchanged. Sending a silent thanks to the heavens, my heart rate matched Andrew’s as we drifted off.
I was dreaming of a sandwich chasing a banana when a loud knock entered my conscious. Groggily, my eyes peeled open. Dusty light filtered in through the blinds, scattering across the floor. Andrew’s snores shook the mattress. The numbers 7:00 a.m. glowed from the alarm clock on the nightstand, a mere four hours of sleep. I groaned and threw my pillow over my head. Whoever was at the front door though was persistent. Another knock sounded, then another until it became one long continuous drone. Elbowing Andrew, he was dead to the world. Due to my run-ins with drug dealers and the alike, I didn’t feel safe answering it myself. Smacking Andrew on the chest, his snores halted as he bolted upright in bed.
He looked around as if zombies were on the attack. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”
“There is somebody at the door.”
A minute passed before my words sunk into his thick skull. Rubbing his eyes, he stifled a yawn and covered his naked lower torso in sweatpants. “Stay here. I’ll check it out but if it’s Matthew, I’m totally gonna hit him in the face with a baseball bat.”
“What baseball bat?”
Andrew grabbed a wooden bat from the closet, answering my question. He smacked it against his hand as he exited the bedroom. A surge of lust coiled in my stomach at the sight of his rippling muscles and pure alpha maleness. When he returned, he was going to get jumped by a naked woman named Haven. Until then my legs spread across the mattress and I bunched the duvet against my chest. A sigh of contentment left my lips. Sometimes, I really missed living alone.
Raised voices, one in particular that sounded too high pitched to be a man’s, caught my attention. I tiptoed to the door and snuck a glance. Andrew’s giant like stature blocked whoever stood in the outside hallway.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“I made a mistake.”
“It’s too late for regrets, Camilla.”
The air left my lungs at the mention of the ghost that had haunted our relationship since the beginning. Except, she wasn’t a ghost anymore. It seemed as if Camilla had been resurrected in flesh and bone. I was a fool to think Andrew and I had a shot at a fresh start. The past followed me around like a stray dog. Camilla ducked underneath Andrew’s arm, her fiery red hair matching her expression. The photographs tucked away in Andrew’s drawer didn’t do her beauty justice. She had blunt cut bangs that framed her hazel eyes, milky white skin and a smattering of freckles that dusted her bunny sloped nose.
Her hands went to her slender waist. “It has been six months, not six years.”
“That doesn’t matter. You left.”
“I offered you the chance to come with me but you declined so technically you left this marriage.”
Andrew shot a look toward the door where I was standing. My back flattened against the wall as my heart hammered in my chest. They were married? That couldn’t be correct. Andrew had said they got engaged but he made it sound as if they broke up before they tied the knot. My head peeked out and watched the drama unfold further.
He grabbed the crook of her elbow. “Come on, let’s grab a coffee and we can talk.”
She jerked her arm back and narrowed her eyes. “This is my home too. If you don’t remember, my name is on the mortgage.”
“Yeah, but it was my money that bought this place.”
“God,” Camilla shook her head. “Why are we fighting? I missed you, Andrew.” An avalanche of love poured from her gaze. “We were good together until….”
Andrew’s spine straightened. “Don’t say it…” he said coldly. “Don’t you dare fucking say it.”
She closed the distance between them and placed her palms on his bare chest. Tipping her chin up, Camilla looked at him square in the eye. “When are you going to forgive me?”
A muscle jumped in his jaw. “You went behind my back.”
“I had to. It wasn’t the right time to bring a child into the world. We had so many more adventures left in us and I knew you wouldn’t see it that way but I’m ready now. I want to give this marriage a second shot, settle down, and plant roots.
My legs gave out underneath me. Tumbling to the plush carpeted floor, the world blurred. Andrew hadn’t painted the full picture. Camilla didn’t leave because of a cultural divide; she left because she’d terminated their child without telling him first. Their story was strife with tragedy and unresolved issues. Nausea rolled as I fought the tears that threatened to escape. The un-matching puzzle pieces clicked into place and I couldn’t help but feel like a moron. Andrew’s family not liking Camilla, Matthew eluding to Andrew’s year of hardship, and the overwhelming need to save me because he couldn’t save his child. My fist fit into my mouth to stifle a scream. Andrew’s and my love story, while one for the books, couldn’t continue—not until he closed the chapter with Camilla. Marriage was a legal binding contract and unlike my mother, I didn’t get involved with married men. Hanging on by a string, I hoisted myself to my feet and flung open his closet doors. My clothes and his were divided into two sections. The future we could have had stabbed me in the solar plexus. He was the first guy I would haven’t have minded living out the American dream with. White picket fence, a gaggle of children, and a dog named Spike. My numbness thawed and gave way to betrayal. It seeped into veins like a disease. Black spots floated in my vision. I blindly ripped my meager wardrobe off their respective hangers, forming a pile on the floor. Andrew had led me to believe that a happy ending was possible. He captured my heart with his Casanova lines, tantalizing kisses and his purer than gold soul that wasn’t so pure after all. Throwing everything into an opened suitcase, I clicked it closed. Andrew and Camilla’s voices had faded to a murmur. I looked around Andrew’s bedroom without a clue where to go. Monica had made it abundantly clear she didn’t have room while Mallory was planning a wedding. Fueled by despair and agony, a crazy thought popped into my head. Why wait? The road trip I was planning to take with Andrew could be pushed up to tomorrow, or tonight. Let’s face it, staying in a city that hosted my broken relationships, first with my mother and now with Andrew, didn’t sound appealing. I needed a do-over, somewhere where nobody knew my name. There was one problem: money. The nightclub had cut back on my shifts and I had three hundred dollars to my name. They owed me a check, which I had to pick up before I left, nonetheless, an extra two hundred wouldn’t be enough for gas, cheap motels along the way, and first and last month’s rent if I decided to stay wherever I ended up. Out of the corner of my eye, Andrew’s frat ring shimmered on the armoire. No amount of reasoning would lessen the guilt but guilt was a best friend of mine—heartache wasn’t. After Andrew, I was done with love. A thousand-pound elephant sat on my chest, crushing my internal organs. Swiping the ring into my pocket, I picked up the suitcase. With one last look around, I put one foot one in front of the other until the cold wintery Detroit morning slapped me across the face. The sheets ice of pouring from the sky disguised my tears. To everybody else, I looked like a girl about to go on a journey. They didn’t see the damage inside.