a brother she loved,
and outraged all that’s human by arranging the
patricide
of Pelias’ foolish daughters — and then that cannibal
feast,
everlasting shame of Iolkos. I understood that her mind, whatever her beauty and intelligence, was no more like
ours—
the minds of the sons of Hellas — than the mind of a
wolf, a tiger.
I owed her protection and kindness, and I meant to pay
that debt.
But in promising marriage — if marriage means
anything more than the noise
of vows — I spoke in futility. If earth and sky
are marriage partners, or the land and sea, or the
interdependent
king and state — if Space and Time are marriage
partners—
then Medeia and I are not.
“In the hills above Iolkos I watched Medeia at her midnight rites. I’ve told you
the effect.
I was wide awake as a preying animal — as charged
with power
as I’d felt as a boyish adventurer sailing with the
Argonauts.
Though I slept no more than a jackal on the hunt, I
awakened refreshed,
scornful of Pelias and his idiot daughters, at one with
Akastos
riding his war-cart as I rode the clattering state. I
could do
the same by the meat of women: shuck off obscurities, considerations, the labored balance of the pondering
mind.
A great discovery! Though I meant the state to be
reasonable,
I need not famish the animal in me, put away the past, the chaos of a hero’s joys. And so, as a foolish shepherd brings in wolf pups, dubious at first, and runs them
with the sheep
for experiment, gradually learning their queer docility, and so progresses in his witless complacence to the
night when — stirred
by a minor cut, a droplet of blood that for wolves rolls
back
the centuries — he hears a bleating, and rushes to find his herd destroyed, the fruit of his labors in ruin—
so I
a foolish king, let passions in, the divinity of flesh. Gradually lessening my reason’s check, I freed Medeia, agent of my own worst passions; I granted a she-dragon
rein.
Screams in the palace, the sick-sweet smell of blood.
I saw,
once and for all, my wife was her father’s child,
demonic.
There could be no possibility now of harmony between
us;
no possibility of marriage. We must either destroy each
other—
struggling in opposite directions for absolutes, thought
against passion—
or part. And there, for a moment, I left it. By arduous
labor
I won back the power of speech, won back the control
of my house.
Not all my hours on the Argo required such pains. So
now,
prepared to deal with the world again, prepared to make
use,
as the gods may please, of difficult lessons, I bide my
time
in exile, caring for my sons and Medeia.
“I claim, with conviction, I haven’t outlived all usefulness to the gods. All those who scorn just reason and scoff at the courts of honest
men,
men whose ferocious will is revealed by calm like the
lion’s—
those who scorn, the gods will deafen with their own
lamentations;
their proud pinnacles the gods will shatter and hurl in
the ocean
as I myself was torn down once for my foolishness and cast in the trackless seas. Or if not the gods, then
this:
the power struggling to be born, a creature larger than
man,
though made of men; not to be outfoxed, too old for us; terrible and final, by nature neither just nor unjust, but wholly demanding, so that no man made any part
of that beast
dare think of self, as I did. For if living says anything, it’s this: We sail between nonsense and terrible
absurdity—
sail between stiff, coherent system which has nothing
to do
with the universe (the stiffness of numbers,
grammatical constructions)
and the universe, which has nothing to do with the
names we give
or seize our leverage by. Let man take his reasoning
place,
expecting nothing, since man is not the invisible player but the player’s pawn. Seize the whole board, snatch
after godhood,
and all turns useless waste. Such is my story.”
So Jason ended. The kings sat hushed, as silent as the goddesses.
19
Kreon sat pondering, propped on his elbows, eyebags
puffed,
protrusive as a toad’s, the table around him as thick
with flowers
as a swaybacked bin in the marketplace. He
remembered himself,
at last, and rose. Still no one spoke. Athena, standing at Jason’s back, was smiling, serene and wild at once, majestic as the Northern Lights. Beside her Hera stood with hooded eyes, awesome in the flush of victory— for I could not doubt that Athena and she had won.
The goddess
of love, by Kreon’s virginal daughter, was wan and
troubled,
her generous heart confused. I was tempted to laugh,
for an instant,
at how easily they’d confounded her — those wiser
goddesses,
Mind and Will. But Aphrodite’s glance at Jason
stopped me, filled me with sudden alarm.
The hunger in Aphrodite’s eyes—
hunger for heaven alone knew what—
consumed their wisdom, made all the mechanics of
Time and Space
foolish, irrelevant. Beyond the invisible southern pole of the universe her feet were set. Her reach went up, like the carved pillars of Kreon’s hall (vast serpent coils, eagles, chariots, fish-tailed centaurs), writhing to the
darkness
beyond the star-filled crown of Zeus. Kreon, half-giant, his head drawn back, one eye squeezed shut, addressed
the sea-kings,
lords of Corinth and sons of lords:
“My noble friends, princes gathered from the ends of the earth, we’ve heard
a story
stranger than any brought down in the epic songs, and
one
more freighted with troublesome questions. As you see,
the hour is late,
and the day has been troubled by more than Jason’s
tale. It therefore
seems to us fit that we part till tomorrow morning, to
reflect
in private. Let us all reassemble to pursue by the light
of day
what brings us together here.” He paused for answer,
and when no one
spoke, he bowed, assuming assent, and prepared to
leave.
He reached for Pyripta’s hand and raised her to her feet;
then, pausing,
he glanced at Jason, saying, “Would you care to speak,
perhaps,
with Ipnolebes before you go?” He was asking more
than he spoke
in words, I saw, for Jason frowned, reluctant, then
nodded.
And so they left the central table, Kreon and his
daughter
and Aison’s son. And now all the wide-beamed hall
arose,
sea-kings murmuring one to another, and slowly made
way
to the doors. I pushed through the crowd to keep my
eye on Jason.
The sea-kings looked at me, puzzled, perhaps amused.