"Get the fuck out," he snarled to the people in the green room. Heat flared in a blush across my cheeks, and I looked down as the band filed silently past us. Meaningless or no, this was a hell of a risk to be taking…
Then he slammed the door behind us and I was no longer able to think.
"I've waited an entire year to sing to you." He leaned against the doorway and let his head fall back. Every line in his body spelled relief, but I couldn't understand why.
"You were really good," I told him.
"You liked it?"
His eyes were so damn blue.
"I loved it." I smiled at him.
"Ah, fuck, Bit." He lifted his hand and caught my wrist, pulling me to him. "I'm so glad," he said, touching my face and tilting it up to his. "I am so fucking glad to hear that."
Now that we were inside of that small room, with its few scattered couches, folding table left by craft services and the whiff of cigarettes of yesteryears in the air, some of the high that had propelled me to him began to wear off. It was one thing to decide I was using him for sex while sitting alone in bed. It was quite another thing to be standing here, watching dark desire shadow his face as he looked at me after closing the door.
"I'm so glad you came," he said thickly.
I felt like I couldn't get enough breath. The slinking, wild animal on the stage now had me cornered and looked very close to devouring me whole. "Me too," I managed. My voice was a wobbly wisp.
"I've missed you. So much." He was right there, filling up the entire room. There seemed to be so much more of him than there should be, but that wasn't what made me afraid.
I was afraid of how eager I was to believe him.
"I missed you too." It wasn't a lie.
"Fuck."
That was all, just one guttural curse, but there was so much frustration and longing bound up inside of it that I felt like my knees would collapse. He caught me as I sagged against him and roughly cupped the back of my head with his hands. "I want you, and I need to hear that I can have you."
A tingle shot up my spine. "You can have me," I said, unaware that he was walking us backwards until the small of my back bent against the folding table.
"Tell me how you want it, Liliana." He punctuated each word with a fiery kiss down my neck, seeking lower and lower each time. "Do you want it gentle and sweet? I could be sweet for you, you know. If that's what you want."
I bit my lip hard to keep from moaning out as he lifted me onto the table and bent me back. The hard metal table was cold against my arms and colder still as he lifted my T-shirt and flicked a tongue around my navel. The fire that lit when I saw him on stage suddenly flared hotter, burning away the last trace of rational thinking I possessed.
"No," I told him, grabbing a fistful of electric blue hair and yanking him toward my mouth. "I want you wild…"
He growled his approval into my neck and snaked his hands down my arms, interlacing his fingers into mine before yanking both arms upward and pinning them above my head. "Then that's what you're going to get, Bit." He pinned both my arms down easily with one strong hand. Brushing a kiss past my lips, he reached down and yanked my shirt up, exposing my naked belly. I felt his eyes slide up my skin, focusing on my breasts. "These were always my favorite," he rasped, reaching under me deftly. "I think I want to start right here."
I arched toward him, letting him tear my clothes off over my head before he fell upon me. "Yes," I urged him as he lay down a trail of biting kisses from my left collarbone up the swell of my breast. I knew he was going to leave marks on me, but somehow I didn't care. I wanted it to be real and I wanted it to hurt a little. I wanted the sting left on my skin when I walked away from this with the knowledge that it had actually happened.
Jax was murmuring into my skin, a string of filthy curse words jumbled together with the promises of what was coming next. "…so goddamn beautiful, you know that?" His tongue curled around my nipple, dragging his teeth lightly against the sensitive skin. "…you better fucking know that. You better, unh, admire this body in the mirror every fucking day." I arched again, feeling the fire collecting in my lower spine. "…fuck yeah, that's right, I want to hear you…" I bit my lip. "…don't you fucking hold back on me. Tell me. Tell me how good this feels. "
He raked his hands down my belly and deftly undid my jeans. When his palm cupped over the mound between my legs, a gasp tore from my throat. "…again, Lily. Holy fuck, I wish you could see your face right now. I'd take a fucking picture but I don't think I could risk anyone ever seeing you like this except me. I'm not fucking sharing this. I'm gonna taste you now, you ready? I want you to come all over my face. I want to feel you go wild around my fingers before I fuck you senseless. Does that sound good to my Bit?"
All the while he was talking he had been alternately pressing and rubbing with the heel of his hand. He hadn't even taken off my panties yet, but I could already feel it gathering. The slow heat pulled down all of my limbs until I was nothing but a nervous system intent on the sensation. "More, Jax," I told him. I wanted to sound sexy but instead I sounded pleading. "Give me more."
"Holy shit, do you hear how amazing you sound?" He yanked down my panties before I could answer him, not that I could once his mouth was on me. "I want you to…" His words dissolved into muffled grunts, little mmms of ecstasy as he took my clit gently between his lips and began to suck. When his thick finger slipped inside of me, I felt myself clutch it desperately. Alternating between licks and thrusts, he dragged me closer and closer to the edge of sanity. I reached out, desperate for something to hold onto, to keep me from falling, falling so hard into the abyss.
I found the edge of the table just as the world split open. From low in my belly, the aching ball rolled upwards and outwards, so slow it took over everything until it suddenly cracked open. "Fuck!" I screamed as I shook so hard the table rattled underneath me, not even caring if anyone heard, if anyone saw, if anyone knew how crazy it was for me to believe this meant nothing at all.
Because from the very edge of my sight I could see him watching me. His whole focus was on me, his lips parted, his eyes wide. "Goddamn it, Bit, you were holding out on me before."
"No I wasn't," I protested weakly.
"Yeah. You were." He grinned, his lips shining wetly, covered in me. "And now that I knew what the real thing looks like…" His voice trailed off again as he stood up and lifted his shirt over his head.
…it doesn't have mean anything…
The harder I tried to hold onto that thought, the more slippery it became. I fumbled for it, trying like hell to remember that this was nothing more than a last fling before the wedding, but when Jax’s mouth covered mine again, all of my thoughts abandoned me, including that one. Instead thoughts of him invaded my brain; how he felt under my hands, his skin so warm it was almost scalding. How his heart raced under my fingertips as I kissed a trail down the center of his chest. How both our hands went to his belt buckle, and he swatted mine away with an impatient grunt. How I tried to take him into my mouth once he was freed from his boxers, but he caught my face in his hands and kissed me again and there were suddenly no barriers between us. I pressed against him, needing to feel every inch of my skin covered in his.