"I have accounts at Bellamy, Justine's, and Paloma Veldt." She was already half out the door, ready to attack the next problem on her list. "Go to Justine's first."
"Wait!'
"Yes, Liliana?"
"You trust me? To find my own dress? One that doesn't look like…" I bit off a smile. "…fungus?"
Her gaze softened somewhat. "Of course I trust you Lily." Then she snapped out of it. "I'll call ahead, have them pull a selection."
"Gee, thanks," I repeated, sitting down heavily on my bed. I didn't go shopping much for a reason. Most clothes cut for women didn't fit me. I shopped in the kids' section for blouses, tees, and jeans, then had them tailored to fit my curves. Dress shopping was a complete an utter nightmare. "Can't wait."
Diggs knocked softly on my open door. "Can't wait for what, Lil?" He held out a plate. "Heard you were hungry."
"Oh my God, you just saved me from certain death." I lunged for the turkey on rye, happy he remembered the pickle.
"Glad I could help."
"You always do," I mumbled around a mouthful of sandwich. I swallowed greedily and crunched the pickle. "Can you make me another one tomorrow? I need all of my strength before I have to go… dress shopping." I winced just saying the words. "Apparently, the one I chose is going to clash with the altar scheme."
I thought I would make him laugh, but instead Diggs just looked pensive. "Well, if she thinks so, she's probably right. Annie didn't get where she was by leaving things to chance. She's always at least three steps ahead of the rest of us. Not much gets past her."
My heart flopped sideways as he casually leaned down and kissed me on the cheek, and I was certain he could hear every guilty beat.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Jax
I wasn't staring. Just keeping track of things.
That's what I was telling myself, anyway.
That's how I knew that Liliana's door had been shut since last night. It was fucking pitiful, really, the way I kept my ears pricked for any sounds from her bedroom. A few times I heard the clack of keys, and once or twice, an explosive sigh that brought me to my feet, ready to knock on her door. But I pussied out every time, and Lily stayed cloistered.
When the morning rolled around with me barely having slept, I rose, disgusted with myself, and pulled on my workout clothes. I needed to get the fuck out of this house.
Annie and Nails had chosen the house with the view, rather than the house with access, so I ran down the winding drive and cut over a block to the footpath that led down to the beach. Windsprints in the sand would do the trick. I would drive Lily's shut bedroom door from my brain by brute force. Or die in the attempt.
I ran to the point of dry-heaving, but Lily's door was still shut in my face. Defeated, I limped back up the footpath and up to the house, wishing that we had rehearsal scheduled today. I needed to get away from here, from her, but every time I came up with something, I immediately found a reason why I shouldn't go.
I was going to stay here until that girl opened her door, and there was no pretending like that wasn't the truth.
Feeling like the most pathetic, pussy-whipped piece of shit in the universe, I dragged my sorry ass up the drive and stopped short when I saw the delivery truck by the door.
"Hey there," the driver called. "I rang the bell, but no one was home."
"There's always someone home," I grumbled. "Hang on." I opened the front door. "Yo!"
"The fuck you yelling about?" Crusty Pete hung his head. Diggs gave me a faint, watery smile and Bash groaned.
"You bunch of drunks," I chuckled. "Get up. There's a big-ass truck in the driveway."
Bash smacked his head with his open palm. "Ah, shit, he's here already?" He lumbered to the window, looking confused at the curtains that blocked his vision before remembering to push them aside. "Well, fuck me, look at that. Why didn't he knock?"
"Says he did. You all need hearing aids, apparently."
"Rock and roll will do that you," Greg Fingers grinned. "This tinnitus is a bitch."
"Says he rang the bell."
"Well, that's his problem. The damn doorbell is the same exact tone as the ringing in my ears. I can't hear that shit. Yo!" He yanked open the door. "Whaddya got?"
The driver called something unintelligible to me, but somehow tinnitus-Greg heard it perfectly. "That's the lumber for the pergola," he said, turning to look me up at down. "You feel like banging some nails today?"
"Who's banging me?" Nails wandered into the living room scratching his belly.
"Got the wood for the pergola, Nails," Bash piped up. "Gotta get to work building it today.
"What the fuck is a pergola? No… wait," he held up his hand and grimaced, "Annie told me and it's something very important that I definitely know all about."
"I'm telling her you weren't listening," I teased.
"Boy, I will fuck up your life," he growled, and I laughed even harder.
This was good. I hadn't looked at Lily's door in the last five minutes. I was already sweaty, and at least this would give me something to do with my hands other than jack off.
"I can help," I offered.
The guys looked at me, surprised. Nails gave me that odd, fond smile again, and I couldn't help but fuck with him. "I mean, I woke up this morning feeling like I wanted to bang something today. Didn't think it'd be Nails, though."
The guys groaned. "That's just wrong." Diggs shook his head.
"I'm just wrong," I assured them.
"Okay, it's just like load-in, except we're building an altar instead of a stage. Let's do this!" Bash's enthusiasm was met with a chorus of groans and lifted middle fingers, but the guys hauled themselves to their feet all the same. "Damn, boy, you're giving Crusty Pete a run for his money this morning," Bash told me, waving his nose as we trooped out onto the deep front porch.
"It's called exercising, Bash." I grinned, following him out to the truck. "You might try it some time." I did not look over my shoulder at Lily's shut door. Okay, one little peek.
It was shut.
"The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'," Bash declared, patting his gut proudly. "And I bet I can lift more than you, anyway."
"We'll see, old man."
Greg leapt up into the open trailer and began sliding the twisted pieces of wood toward the end. The branches were polished to a high-gloss, but still retained their natural shape. They were pretty, but really fucking awkward to carry.
"Hey, grab that end, will you?" I hefted the trunk end, leaving Bash to deal with the twisted branch end.
"Jesus," he panted, hauling it onto his shoulders, "what is this thing made of, iron?"
"Don't you, like, lift stacks of amps for a living?" Nails called. "How the fuck do you think this is heavy?"
I chuckled as the six of us hauled the first load down the steeply sloped lawn toward the cliff overlooking the ocean. I could feel my muscles straining and a good, heavy burn starting in my lungs. And I wasn't thinking about Lily at all.
Except right then.
If she looked out her window right now, she would probably wonder why the hell we were carrying trees across the lawn."
And again right there.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Liliana
I twisted sideways, tugging at the drooping bodice. The sagging black fabric exactly matched my mood. "No, I don't think so."
"I think it will look lovely, once we get it fitted." The poor salesgirl sounded like she was at the end of her rope and I felt perversely guilty.