"Tell me it's a finished album."
I grinned. "It's a finished album."
"You better not be fucking with me, Blue."
"I'm not. I need the studio and the guys, tomorrow—wait, no. Shit, that's the day my mom gets married… How about Monday? Can they squeeze me in Monday. Please?"
Bev was silent so long I thought I dropped the call. I pulled my phone back from my ear and checked and she was already talking when I put my ear back. " …first time I've ever heard you say please, Jaxson."
"Yeah, well, don't get used to it."
She laughed. "Fine. I'll pull some strings, try to smooth the ruffled feathers, and all of that. You had better make this worth my while."
"I'm always worth your while, darling."
"Pig," she snorted, but as she hung up, I could hear her laughing. I was laughing too. Free, manic laughter as something loosened in my chest. I flung open my door, intending to run downstairs and pour myself a celebratory drink.
Lily lowered her hand and raised the bottle, stretching it out in front of her like a peace offering. "Hi there," she said softly. "Truce?"
Chapter Thirty-Three
Liliana
It's over.
He ended it.
I should be relieved.
…
Why do I feel like my heart is imploding?
It was the way he bent double. Like my words had punched him right in the gut. Then, and only then, did I realize something truly upsetting.
I was the bad guy here. Not him. Me.
I stared at his closed door and thought back over the past two weeks. We'd sparred, we'd argued, but the one who had truly been cruel was me. All the time I had convinced myself that I was the wronged party when I was the one that had been doing the wronging.
It was a shitty feeling.
Regret was a feeling I was used to when it came to Jaxson Blue. But not like this. I regretted being so callous, using him the way I did. I regretted my steadfast refusal to recognize the zillion ways he had said he was sorry. I regretted listening to him open his heart while still keeping mine firmly shut.
I regretted letting him walk out of that door, because now I missed him. Not my body. Me. I missed sparring with him and how he made me laugh. I missed his jokes and his sarcastic side comments. I missed how he was the only person who understood my strange way of life, because he was in it to. My partner in crime.
My best friend.
Wow. I really fucked up.
He missed the rehearsal dinner, but everyone was too drunk to really care. As soon as I saw my chance, I snatched a bottle of Jack from the wet bar and snuck upstairs. I could hear him inside, talking on his cell phone. "I'm always worth your while, darling," he cooed in that arrogant voice he used with women, and for a moment, my heart faltered with jealousy.
No. You don't get to feel that. This is a peace offering. You have to see him for the rest of your life, so long as Annie and Dad are together. Christmases, birthdays… he's in your life for good now. You may as well try to see if you can be friends.
I took a quick sip of the whiskey and squared my shoulders, ready to knock, when he flung the door open.
His gorgeous face, which had been so animated a second ago, went blank. I felt my stomach splash down near my feet and suddenly knew exactly how he felt in the dress shop. The way a word—no, just a look—can be a punch to the gut.
Instead of doubling over, I held out the bottle. "Truce?" I asked.
Jax’s mouth worked for a second and I was certain he was going to tell me no. He brushed his hand over his face, pulling down the corners of his mouth before running his fingers through his hair. "Yeah Bit. Come on in."
Chapter Thirty-Four
Jax
She looked at me like she was afraid I might bite her. And as angry as I was, that still hurt far more than I would have liked.
Her bare feet sank into the carpet by my bed as she looked all around her, then let out a rueful little snort. "This is the first time I've been in your bedroom. I've been here two weeks, and I never set foot in here."
I shoved my hands in my pockets to give me something to hold on to. "Yeah? What do you think?"
She looked around like she was honestly considering, taking in the dark wood of my bed set, the scattered weights, the beat-up guitar collection, the giant-ass mirror on the wall. "It makes sense," she finally volunteered.
I had to laugh. “ ‘Makes sense?’ "
"It suits you."
"I'm afraid to ask."
She waved her arms a little frantically. "It's a little scattered, a little messy. But it's lived-in. It feels like home."
Her words hung in the air for a moment and I let them. I let the silence stretch out so long she got agitated, digging her toes one after another into the carpet. Then I waited a little longer.
"I missed you," she blurted.
I clenched my fist. "Oh yeah? What did you miss?"
"Not that," she protested. I raised my eyebrow. "Okay, yeah, that too. But I missed you. You've been hiding from me."
"I learned from the best."
She looked down. "Fair enough. But I kind of want you to stop now."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that. Yeah."
I let the silence hang a little longer, knowing she wouldn't be able to help herself. She had to fill it.
"It's just… I realized something. We're never going to actually be able to avoid each other, Jax. Our parents are getting married. Tomorrow." She raised an eyebrow at me. "You missed rehearsal, by the way."
"Walk Mom down the aisle. What's to rehearse?"
"She was pissed."
"For how long?"
Bit laughed. "Until her third shot of bourbon. When I left the party she was in my Dad's lap singing 'Cocaine Kisses.' "
"I hate that song."
"Me too." Lily sank down, plopping herself onto my bed uninvited and I tried to get over how right she looked there. "I just need to know we can be friends, at least. Things are awkward enough as it is without us making it worse for each other." She looked up at me. "Wait, stop, don't get all mad and defensive, Jax. Look, I was an ass. I admit that. I treated you like shit, and I'm sorry about it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." Her face worked for a second, like she had something more to say, and then dropped it. She wiggled the bottle instead. "So, yeah. Our parents are getting married and it's weird, and this whole thing is fucked up, and yeah… Drink with me?"
I sat down on the bed next to her. What the fuck could I do? I was powerless when it came to her. Even if this really was truly over I suspected I always would be. "That's a fantastic idea," I told her. And I meant it. "What are we toasting?"
"I don't know, exactly. You first."
I thought a moment. "To second chances?"
Her voice was small. "To second chances."
We drained our glasses and Bit wrinkled her nose. It was so damn cute my heart nearly stopped. I grabbed the bottle from her. "And to third and fourth ones too," I declared, pouring two in quick succession
She laughed. "Wait, okay, I've got one. A toast." She lifted her glass, eyes already shining. "Here's to our parents for fucking up any hope we could ever have at being normal!"
Chapter Thirty-Five
Liliana