I drained the shot, then coughed into my hand.
Jax's blue eyes twinkled. "Slow it down there, Bit. You're like, a third of my size. Don't try to keep pace with me."
"Bullshit," I snarled. "I can drink you under the table, asshole."
"Sure you can, as long as I'm under there with you."
I coughed again. "You can't help yourself, can you?"
"No. Not with you. It's a curse."
"I'll try to take that as a compliment."
"I intend it as one."
"Going under tables would be bad for this… whatever this is…?"
"Detente?"
"Nice word, Jax."
"I'm a writer too, you know."
"Oh… I know."
"You look pissed all of sudden. What the fuck did I do now?"
"Nothing. You just have a way with words."
"You keep saying shit like that and I have to tell you that I don't have the faintest fucking idea what you're talking about."
I gaped at him. "Are you really telling the truth right now?"
"God's honest. You keep dropping these cryptic little remarks and then running the fuck away instead of explaining. Keeping the door shut, whatever. You want to be friends? Friends don't pull this passive aggressive bullshit. Friends say what the hell is on their mind. You're pissed at me, you've been pissed for like a year. Why?"
My words came so fast I nearly choked on them. "Why? Why? You really don't know? You wrote a fucking song about the fight we had… the morning after we first… we finally… Fuck, you know what I'm talking about. You took the worst moment of my life and wrote a fucking song about it. Now it's everywhere. Mocking me. Mocking it. What we shared. What I gave you." I was full-on sobbing now. It was a wonder he could even recognize the words I was trying to say.
He pressed his lips together in a thin line and waited for my sobs to quiet before he slowly spoke. "Liliana. Have you ever actually listened to the song?"
"Of course I have, asshole."
"The whole thing?"
"I got the fucking gist."
His eyes blazed angrily. "How about the show? You heard the whole thing there, right?"
He caught me. And I didn't have the energy to lie. "I was late, Jax. I missed it."
His mouth twisted and his head sagged forward and for a moment I wanted so badly to lie. "You weren't there," he repeated. The words came out on an exhalation so strong it sounded like he was deflating.
He looked so upset I was instantly on the defensive. "I only missed 'Cocky'! I was there for everything else. And I didn't want to hear it, honestly. I've heard it a million times. It's only on the radio every three minutes or so."
"No." He stood up and strode to his closet, lifting one of his battered old practice acoustic up to his chest. "Fucking listen to it. Right now."
The gentle strum was nothing like the bass intro. It was light, almost plaintive. He ducked his head over the guitar, hugging it to his body as he plucked the strings and every sound it made was sorrow. I was crying even harder now, the melody so familiar, yet so strange. Then he opened his mouth and looked at me and sang.
"You got it right… babe.
We spent the night… babe
And I'm just a Lil Bit cocky, yes, it's true."
I winced. And his lips curled into a private smile before he moved on to the part I had never heard.
"Now we're young and so in love,
Body fits mine like a glove
And I never should have let you go.
I'm so sorry, I was wrong,
And I've loved you all along.
Now I'm trying to let you know …
He held the note, clear and perfect over the ringing strings …
"You got it right… babe
You're always right, babe
I'm more than a Lil Bit sorry, yes, it's true.
I never thought… babe
We could have fought… babe
I want my Lil Bit back inside my arms.
You should know… babe
I'll never go… babe
You're the only one I want, yes, it's true …"
A high, piercing note… His voice caught dangerously and he averted his eyes. Tears were flowing fast and freely down my cheeks …
"Can we go right back in time?
Can we turn right on a dime?
I promise I will always be true.
Can you listen to my song?
Tryin' to tell you I was wrong.
And I'm telling you that I love you.
I felt hollowed out. The place where my anger had resided was just an empty space now. A vacuum waiting to be filled. And in it rushed the love that had been waiting this whole wasted time.
"Jaxson."
"Yeah, Lily." His voice broke slightly and I saw his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed.
"I didn't know."
"Now you do."
I looked down at my hands. "Dad and Annie get married tomorrow."
He nodded. "I'm well aware."
"But …" I had no idea how he'd react, if I asked. I had hurt him so badly, again and again and again, did I really deserve another chance? "We still have tonight."
It was like watching a dead man return to life. Inch by inch, his spine straightened. The color returned to his cheeks and that devilish gleam to his eyes. I bit my lip when I saw his cocky grin spread across his face. "Yeah… we have tonight."
"So?" I spread my hands, arching my back slightly. His eyes went to my breasts and then back up to my face.
"So what, Lily?"
"Aren't you going to come over here?"
"You know what? I don't think I will."
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Nope." He leaned back and brushed his hand up from his groin. I could see his length straining against his jeans already. "You come over here."
"Really?"
"You know you want to, Bit."
I did. "You are the cockiest son of a bitch …"
"That's why you love me," he drawled.
I laughed and slid from the bed. His eyes followed my every move as I slunk along the floor, rising up to my knees between his legs. He hissed as I pressed my hands to his thighs. "That's not why." I licked my lips, wetting them, readying them.
"Why?" He genuinely wanted to know.
"Well …" I slid my hand up, cupping his groin. "There's this …"
His eyes darkened. "Show me how much you love that."
A small whimper escaped my lips as I unzipped his jeans tooth by tooth. He leaned back, watching me, occasionally brushing my hair behind my ear so that he could more clearly see my face as I freed his cock from his boxers.
As the silken head brushed past my lips, we both groaned together. I always figured that he had the power and I had none. But in that moment, I knew I had as much power over him as I was brave enough to take.
And suddenly I wanted everything he had. I inhaled sharply, taking in as much as I could. The taste of him …the smell of him …. It wasn't the whiskey that was getting me drunk.