Bant was upset that once again Tahl had left her behind. True, the mission was a short one, but Bant struggled not to feel that Tahl did not trust her fully.
"I must learn to accept the way she is and believe that she knows best," Bant told Obi-Wan as they walked around the lake early one morning.
The illumination banks overhead simulated a soft dawn. "But it's so hard. I thought that at last we were beginning to become full partners. She seemed to rely on me more. She went on fewer missions alone. I think Yoda might have spoken to her about leaving me behind. Yet now I find that she has gone off with only a few words to me."
If Qui-Gon had done the same, Obi-Wan knew he would be as upset as Bant. Perhaps more so. He had been with Qui-Gon longer than Bant had been with Tahl. They had had opportunities to work out the various bumps in their relationship. Bant had a rockier time. Tahl was kind and humorous, but she kept a part of herself aloof.
"It took years for Qui-Gon and me to develop our closeness," Obi-Wan tried to reassure her. "The only thing I can advise is patience. Just as you once advised me."
"I don't get the chance to be close to Tahl," Bant said. "I'm too busy sitting here at the Temple without her."
Obi-Wan understood a bit of her distress. For the first time in a long while, he did not know what his Master was thinking.
In the days since Tahl had left, Qui-Gon's restlessness had deepened.
Obi-Wan could see it. His Master had already decided to follow their tracking and survival exercise with physical training at the Temple. Qui- Gon threw himself into this without a break. He studied with the Jedi Masters, perfecting his battle skills, his endurance, his strength. Obi-Wan would often have to remind him to eat his evening meal. Qui-Gon looked tired and depleted.
"There is distance between me and Qui-Gon right now," Obi-Wan confided. "I don't understand it, but I know I will in time. Qui-Gon has told me that each of us is still an individual. We will have worries and concerns that are unique to us. We cannot expect to always understand each other. The commitment is what is important."
"But is that commitment important to Tahl?" Bant asked. Her silver eyes searched his.
"I think it is," Obi-Wan answered. "She is a Jedi."
"The mission was supposed to take two or three days at the most,"
Bant said worriedly. "It has been almost two weeks now."
Obi-Wan put his hand on Bant's shoulder. His words could not help her. He only hoped his presence could.
Qui-Gon tried to lose himself in training. If he worked his body hard enough, he could push worry aside for short periods. But the weeks passed, and the nagging feeling that Tahl needed him still preyed on his mind. She had not checked in with the Council. This was not unusual. Events happened that could prevent contact on any mission. Yoda had told him with unusual sternness that the Council was not worried.
He was the only one who worried. But did that mean he was wrong?
All he could see were her eyes. Usually they blazed like green crystals with traces of gold. Now they were black and dull, filmed with suffering.
When she saw him, they sparked to life. "It is too late for me, dear friend," she said.
Qui-Gon woke with a start. He put his hand on his heart. The grief that filled him was because of the dream. It was not real. He told his beating heart to slow down.
This grief was temporary. It was already fading as his heartbeat slowed. But the vision — the vision was real.
He swung his legs over the edge of the sleep-couch. Enough, he told himself. Enough of trying to convince himself the vision had been more about his anxiety about Tahl than anything real. Enough of respecting her request to leave her be.
Enough.
* * * He waited until after the meditation period, when the Council members gathered for a short meeting. Then he headed toward the Council chamber.
He ran into Obi-Wan, who was on his way to the morning meal. His Padawan knew immediately that he had a purpose. Obi-Wan looked at him questioningly.
"I'm on my way to the Council Room," Qui-Gon said.
"Tahl?"
He nodded.
"I'll come with you."
He was about to argue, but he saw the resolute look in Obi-Wan's eyes. He kept on walking, and Obi-Wan swung into step beside him.
This time, Qui-Gon took the time to request permission to enter. He needed the Council on his side. It was granted.
He strode into the room, suddenly glad to have Obi-Wan with him.
"I wish to inform the Council that I am following Tahl to New Apsolon," he said without preliminaries.
"What is the reason for this action?" Mace Windu asked. He knitted his long fingers together and frowned at Qui-Gon.
"Tahl promised to keep in contact with the Council. She has not. It has been nearly three weeks since she left. She said she would be back in under a week."
"Jedi Knights are not required to conform to a schedule," Mace Windu said. "And missions reveal their own time frame. The Council members are not concerned."
"But I am," Qui-Gon stated firmly. "Complete this mission alone, Tahl wanted," Yoda said. "Best it is for her, we think."
"I have tried to honor her wishes," Qui-Gon said. "I feel that there is danger there. I have seen it."
"A vision?" Yoda asked. "Know you do that visions can lead us astray as well as guide us."
"This one must guide me," Qui-Gon said.
"You know that secrecy is crucial to Tahl's mission," Mace Windu said. "She could have already started her journey. She could have the twins with her. We will wait for her next communication."
"I will not," Qui-Gon said.
Yoda exchanged a glance with Mace Windu. It was clear they were surprised and displeased.
"Noted we have your concern for Tahl over the years since she was blinded," Yoda said. "Natural, it is. But good for her, it is not. Find her own way, she must."