Bant always spoke the truth. What a valuable friend she was.
And he would lose her. He would lose her forever.
My fault.
If Bant died, the grief would destroy him.
He bent over and stared at the floor, his heart racing as though he'd just fought a battle. He gulped down his panic, but he could not make it go away. Instead it rose in his throat again and again, choking him.
He heard footsteps approach him, then pause. He recognized Qui-Gon's step.
No. Don't let him see me this way.
He struggled to compose himself. But the panic was too real. The fear squeezed his throat, cramped his muscles.
He could not move.
He saw Qui-Gon's boots stop in front of him. Then, to his surprise, the large man crouched next to him. His voice was close to his ear.
"It is all right, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said gently. "I understand."
Obi-Wan shook his head. Qui-Gon could not possibly understand.
"Never fear your feelings, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said. "They can guide you if you control them."
"I — | can't." Obi-Wan forced the words out. How he hated to admit his weakness to Qui-Gon! But he could not lie.
"Yes, you can," Qui-Gon said with the same gentleness. "I know you can.
You are a Jedi. You will focus. You will reach your calm center. Do not try to tamp down the fear. Do not let it grip you. If you let it move through you, it will leave you. Breathe."
Obi-Wan breathed. A tiny part of the panic loosened its grip. He breathed again, and felt the fear rise. This time he did not battle it. He pictured it rising on his breath, leaving his body. His muscles loosened slightly.
"We will rescue Bant," Qui-Gon continued. "We will defeat Xanatos. We will bring him down."
The panic was lessening. But not the shame.
"I hurt her." The words were jerky, forced out on a hiccup of air. "I made her run away."
"Ah." Qui-Gon paused. "Did you send her to Xanatos? Speaking sharply to a friend is wrong, Obi-Wan. It is cause for an apology. But it is not cause to be responsible for what happens afterward. Bant knows that. Her kidnapping is not your fault, and she would be the first to say so. She knows she should not use the water tunnels alone."
Obi-Wan kept his eyes on the floor. He grabbed onto Qui-Gon's calmness like a raft. He strove to find it within himself. He knew that Qui-Gon was frantic to find Bant, was full of anxiety to rid the Temple of Xanatos. Yet Qui-Gon crouched next to him, perfectly willing to wait out his panic.
"You want to return to the Jedi," Qui-Gon continued. "Now be a Jedi.
This is the moment. This is exactly the moment when you must. The very worst time is the time you must follow the Code. Cast away your doubt. Let the Force flow through you."
Obi-Wan lifted his head and met Qui-Gon's steady gaze. Now he could feel the Force move between them, gather itself and surround them. He knew that together they could defeat Xanatos. He was able to cast doubt aside and believe.
Qui-Gon saw the change in his face. "Are you ready?"
Obi-Wan nodded.
"Then come." Qui-Gon stood. Obi-Wan found that his legs moved easily.
The strange paralysis was gone.
"What are we going to do?" Obi-Wan asked.
"When your enemy strikes unexpectedly, things change," Qui-Gon said.
"But if your plan is good, there is no reason to abandon it."
Tahl sent TooJay on an errand while Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan exchanged clothes with Garen and Ali-Alann.
"Your boots are too big," Garen said, clomping around Tahl's quarters.
"No, your boots are too small," Obi-Wan said, wincing.
Qui-Gon and Tahl stood in a corner, speaking softly to Miro Daroon on the comlink. Their voices blended, interrupted, spoke rapidly and crisply as they conferred on strategy, deciding what Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan would say on the voice track.
When Tahl and Qui-Gon signed off, Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon went over what they would say several times. They would need to have the rhythm of natural conversation, Qui-Gon drilled into Obi-Wan. It was perfectly all right to hesi- tate or interrupt. But the information had to be exact.
The conversation had to be recorded in the hallway. The noise level and ambient sound had to mimic the area where TooJay would overhear. Ali-Alann and Garen stood at opposite ends of the hallway, making sure no one would pass. They also served as lookouts for TooJay.
While these preparations were made, Obi-Wan felt a constant tightening inside himself. Thanks to Qui-Gon, he had driven out his fear. Now his task was to find his center. He was impatient to engage Bruck and Xanatos. Yet impatience was not an ally in battle. It was an enemy. Qui-Gon had drilled that into him many times. He tried to draw on Qui-Gon's composure. The Jedi Knight seemed perfectly unhurried, yet Obi-Wan saw how quickly and surely he moved and spoke. In barely any time at all, everyone was clear on what had to be done and everyone was in position.
Qui-Gon activated the voice track. "We must talk, Obi-Wan. We must move fast. No doubt Xanatos has moved Bant from the water tunnels. We'll begin the search in the north wing of the Temple. Did you get the infrared sensors?" "I have them here," Obi-Wan replied. "Where will the other search teams be?"
"They'll start at the high floor of the north wing while we begin at the lowest. We'll meet in the middle and then shut down the wing completely and move onto the south wing. We'll trap them eventually."
"I don't know why we have to leave Xanatos' transport on the landing platform," Obi-Wan protested. "Why should we give him what he wants?"
"Because he might be checking to be sure that we do. We can't endanger Bant. Patience, Obi-Wan. Xanatos will never reach the transport."
"I can't help it," Obi-Wan said fiercely, making his voice rise. "I want to fight them!"
Qui-Gon had directed Obi-Wan to seem impatient. He wanted Xanatos to think the boy was close to the edge of his control. It could give them an advantage in the coming battle if Xanatos underestimated Obi-Wan.
"You must have control," Qui-Gon said sternly. "Now, as we search, remember that Miro will be shutting down the power system. We can't run the risk of other systems failing while we search. Miro will have to shut down the system in order to run a program to find all the bugs."