Bant, what am I going to do?"
She gazed at him, her large silver eyes full of compassion. "Wait."
He turned away impatiently. "You sound like Yoda."
She put a hand on his arm. "But Obi-Wan, what you did was a serious offense. Not serious enough to get kicked out forever," she added quickly when she saw the look in his eyes. "But the Council will need to see proof of your sincerity. They will need to meet with you several times. They are compassionate, Obi-Wan, but they have the whole Jedi order to protect. It is good that this is so. The Jedi path can be a hard one, and the Council must be sure that your commitment is absolute. That the commitment of each of us is absolute."
"My commitment is absolute," Obi-Wan said fiercely.
"How can the Council be sure of this, and how can Qui-Gon be sure?"
Bant asked with great gentleness. "For you have said that before, when you first joined him."
Anger filled Obi-Wan, an anger fueled by frustration. He knew that Bant did not want to hurt him. She gazed at him now with concerned, loving eyes, afraid she had offended him.
"I see," he said shortly. "You blame me, too."
"No," she said quietly. "I am telling you that it will take more time than you wish it to take, maybe more time than you think you will be able to bear. But the Council will relent and see what I see."
"And what is that?" Obi-Wan asked, scowling. "An angry boy? A fool?"
"A Jedi," she said softly, and it was the best thing she could have said.
Suddenly, Obi-Wan was struck by a thought. What if the Council took him back, but Qui-Gon did not? If the Council allowed him to remain a Jedi student, he was already thirteen and past the limit to be chosen by a Jedi Knight as a Padawan. Who would ask him, if not Qui-Gon?
He didn't want another Master, Obi-Wan thought in despair. He wanted Qui-Gon.
They had walked to the far side of the lake without Obi-Wan noticing.
Here there was a small cove where Bant loved to wade. She stepped into the water, smiling as the coolness washed over her ankles.
"Tell me about Melida/Daan," she said. "No one knows what happened there. What was it that made you commit to their cause and leave us?"
Obi-Wan froze. Perhaps it was the trace of the smile on Bant's face as she asked the question. Perhaps it was the way the light hit the water, or the way her silver eyes gazed at him trustingly. Perhaps it was the amount of life in that small moment, so beautiful that it blinded him.
He could not tell her about Cerasi. With so much life around him, how could he speak of death?
Obi-Wan was suddenly at a loss for words. He had never had trouble talking to Bant before. But what could he say?
On Melida/Daan, I saw a friend die in front of me. I saw the life in her eyes flicker and dim. I held her in my arms. I felt another beloved friend turn his back on me. A comrade in arms betrayed me. And I betrayed my Master. A string of betrayals and a death that has marked my heart forever.
He could not say any of those things. They lay too deeply in his heart.
When this is over, I'll tell her. When we have time.
"But I want to hear about you," he said, changing the subject. "You look different. Have you grown since I saw you?"
"Maybe a little," Bant said, pleased. Her short height had always bothered her. "And I'm eleven now."
"Soon you'll be a Padawan," Obi-Wan teased.
Bant did not catch his teasing tone. Her eyes were serious as she nodded. "Yes. Yoda and the Council think I am ready."
Obi-Wan was startled. Because of her small size and trusting nature, Bant had always seemed even younger than she was. She had always tagged after him and his best friends Reeft and Garen Muln. "You're young to be chosen," he said.
"It is not age but ability that marks a turning point," Bant answered.
"Now you sound like Yoda again."
Bant giggled. "I am quoting Yoda."
"And what about Garen?" Obi-Wan asked.
"Garen is taking an extra tutorial in piloting," Bant answered. "Yoda thinks his reflexes are especially acute. The Jedi need pilots for missions.
He's taking his lesson now in the simulator, or he would have come to see you."
"And where's Reeft?" Obi-Wan asked with a smile. "The dining hall?"
Bant laughed. Their Dresselian friend was known for greedy enjoyment of food. "He was chosen as the Padawan of Binn Ibes. He's off on his first mission."
A pang shot through Obi-Wan. So Reeft was a Padawan now. Bant would be soon. Garen had been chosen for special missions. All of his friends were moving forward as he stood still. No, worse than that. As he moved backward.
He had been the first to leave the Temple. Now he would be standing on the landing platform, waving to his friends as they departed, one after the other. He turned away so that Bant couldn't see the longing on his face.
"What about Qui-Gon?" Bant asked. "Do you know if he'll take you back once the Council does?"
Leave it to Bant. She always managed to get to the truth of the issue.
Since she spoke what was in her heart, she expected others to do the same.
"I don't know," Obi-Wan said. He bent down to trail a hand in the water, trying to hide his face.
"You know, I thought he was forbidding at first," Bant remarked. "I was a little afraid of him. But I came to see how gentle he is. I'm sure the way will be smoothed between you."
"I didn't know you knew Qui-Gon at all," Obi-Wan said, surprised.
"Oh, yes," Bant said. "I helped him and Tahl with the theft investigation when you were on Melida/Daan."
Curious now, Obi-Wan turned to ask her what she had done, but a strange noise interrupted him. Bant and Obi-Wan looked overhead. A grinding noise filled the air.
They stared up. At first they saw only what they were meant to see: a brilliant sun in a blue sky. Then everything seemed to happen at once. There was a dimming in the light, and suddenly, an object crashed down through the sky, which they could now see was only a scrim. The skeletal forms of catwalks and the blocks of illumination banks were revealed. Part of a horizontal tunnel swung in midair.