She turned anguished eyes to him, and it was obvious from the way she looked at him that she loved him, too, but it was equally obvious that she didn’t want to. “How can you say that? About losing me, I mean … You can never have me. I’m a divorced woman. And you’re in line to the throne. All we’ll ever have is this … friendship … or a casual flirtation.”
He rocked back on his heels for a moment as he looked at her, and there was the hint of a smile on his face as he did so. “My dear girl, if you call this casual, I would very much like you to explain to me what you consider serious. I have never been this serious about anyone in my life, and we’ve just met. This, my darling, is not my view of a ’casual flirtation.”
“All right, all right.” She smiled in spite of herself, and she looked more beautiful than ever “You know what I mean. It can’t go anywhere. Why are we torturing ourselves like this? We should just be friends. I’m going back soon, and you have your own life here.”
“And you? What life are you going back to?” He looked abysmally upset at what she was saying. “Your miserable farmhouse, where you will live out your days like an old woman? Don’t be absurd!”
“William, I’m divorced! Or I will be. You’re a fool even to pursue this as far as you have.” she said in obvious anguish.
“I want you to know that I don’t give a damn about your divorce,” he said heatedly. “It means absolutely nothing to me, almost as little as the damn succession you’re so everlastingly worried about. That’s what this is all about, isn’t it? You’ve gotten yourself confused again with that fool who married David.” He meant, of course, the Duchess of Windsor, and they both knew it. And he was right. Sarah did have herself confused with her again, but she was extremely tenacious about her opinions.
“It has to do with tradition and responsibility. You can’t just fly in the face of all that. You can’t ignore it, or pretend it’s not there, and neither can I. It’s like driving down a road at full speed and pretending there isn’t a brick wall running straight across your path. It’s there, William, whether you want to see it or not, it’s there, and sooner or later that wall is going to hurt us both very badly, if we don’t stop soon, before it’s too late.” She didn’t want to hurt anyone. Not him or herself. She didn’t want to fall head over heels in love with him, and then lose him because she couldn’t have him. There was just no point, no matter how much she thought she already loved him, or he her.
“What would you suggest then?” He looked mournfully at her, he didn’t like any of what she was saying. “That we stop now? That we not see each other anymore? By God, I won’t do that, unless you can look me in the eye and tell me this isn’t happening to you, too, and you don’t love me.” He pulled at her hands, and looked her in the eyes, until she couldn’t face him any longer.
“I can’t say that,” she whispered softly, and then she raised her eyes to his again. “But perhaps we should just be friends. That’s all this can ever be. I’d rather have you as my friend forever, William, than lose you. But if we persist in this, rushing headlong into something so dangerous and foolish, sooner or later, everyone you know and love will turn on you, and on me, and it will be disastrous.”
“What faith you have in my family. My mother is half French, you know, and she’s always thought the thing about the succession was incredibly stupid. Fourteenth in line to the throne, my darling, is hardly overwhelming. I could give it up in an instant, and never miss it, and neither would anyone else.”
“I would never let you.”
“Oh, please … for God’s sake, Sarah. I’m a grown man, and you have to believe that I know what I’m doing. And right now, your worries are really premature and absurd.” He tried to make light of it, but they both knew she was right. He would have given the succession up for her in an instant if he thought she would marry him, but he was afraid to ask her. He had too much at stake to want to risk it all too quickly. He had never asked anyone to marry him, and he already knew how much he loved Sarah. “Good God, it’s really quite amazing.” He teased her as they went back into the Abbey to look for her parents. “Half the girls in England would kill someone to be a duchess, and you won’t even speak to me for fear it’s a disease you might catch.” He started to laugh then, thinking of how pursued he had always been, and how reluctant and kind this girl was. “I do love you, you know. I really do love you, Sarah Thompson.” He pulled her firmly into his arms then, for all the world to see, as he kissed her amidst the splendor of Westminster Abbey.
“William …” She started to protest and then gave in to him, breathlessly overwhelmed by the sheer power and magnetism of him. And when he pulled away again at last, she looked up at him, and for an instant forgot all her reservations.
“I love you, too … but I still think we’re both crazy.”
“We are.” He smiled happily, as he put his arm around her shoulders and walked her back toward the main entrance to the Abbey, to find her parents. “But may it be a madness from which we never recover,” he whispered softly, and Sarah didn’t answer.
“Where have you two been?” Edward pretended to be concerned, but in truth he wasn’t. He could see from the look in their eyes that they were closer than ever, and all was going well.
“Talking … wandering along … your daughter is very distracting.”
“I’ll have a word with her later.” Edward smiled at them both, and the two men walked along together for a time, chatting about Edward’s bank, and how America viewed the possibility of war. And William told him about his recent trip to Munich.
They had lunch together at Old Cheshire Cheese at Wine Office Court, and had pigeon pie. And after that, William had to leave them.
“I’m afraid I promised my solicitors I would spend the afternoon with them, a dreary necessity from time to time.” He apologized for deserting them, and asked Sarah if she would join him again for dinner and dancing that night. She hesitated, and he looked woebegone. “Just as friends … one more time….” he lied, and she laughed at him. She already knew him better than to believe that.
“You’re impossible.”
“Perhaps. But you need some serious work on your tango.” They both laughed at that, remembering how many times she had faltered in his arms. “We’ll see to it tonight, shall we?”
“All right.” She agreed grudgingly, wondering to herself how she was ever going to resist him. He was a remarkable man, and she had never been so taken with anyone, certainly not Freddie Van Deering. That had seemed so right at the time, but she had been so stupid and young, and this was wrong, too, in a different way, and yet she had never loved anyone more or felt that she knew anyone better than she had already come to know him
“He’s a charming young man,” her mother said to her, as Edward dropped them off again at Hardy Amies. Sarah couldn’t disagree with her. She just didn’t want to ruin his life and her own by falling headlong into a romance that could go nowhere. Despite William’s willingness to throw caution to the winds, for his sake, she wasn’t willing to be as hasty. But she forgot her fears by that afternoon, when her mother bought her a fabulous white satin dress that set off her dark hair and creamy skin and her green eyes to perfection.
When William saw her in it that night, he stared at her, she looked so lovely. “Good God, you look positively dangerous in that, Sarah. I’m not at all sure you should let me take you out. I must say, your parents are really very trusting.”
“I told them not to be, but you seem to have them completely in your thrall,” she teased as they went outside. This time he had brought his driver and the Bentley.