“I forgot your name,” said Megan.
“It’s Anthea,” said the girl.
Anthea. Oh right. Anthea.
“You see that guy?” asked Anthea.
“Yeah,” said Megan.
“He can’t see me smoking. He gets pissed when he sees me smoking. But he won’t make a commitment to me, so fuck it, I can still smoke. If he made a commitment to me, I’d consider quitting.”
“Well, you can use me to shield yourself from him if you want.”
“I mean, I’m not a total asshole. I don’t smoke in front of him, not even in my apartment. I never ask to smoke in his car. I’m considerate.”
“Yeah. So, is he dating other people?”
“I don’t know,” said Anthea. “Probably, right?”
“That would seem usual.” Megan sucked on her beer until it was gone, then opened another.
She remembered Anthea from classes they’d had together. Anthea was a few years younger than Megan and would say stuff like, “You’re so cool,” but would bum cigarettes off of Megan and not really want Megan to say anything. She’d just stand there and talk about fights she was having with her friends and how some certain guy or whatever had slighted her, and Megan would interject awkwardly from time to time. But the awkward interjections didn’t come from a real place of awkwardness, they were a sort of Kabuki awkwardness that amused Megan, so she usually welcomed this girl’s company. Anthea was small and pretty in a weird way (which only made her prettier) and completely oblivious to body language and sarcasm. Either that or she was some kind of genius. Either oblivious or completely aware and playing a game.
Megan surveyed the yard, looking for Amanda.
JILLIAN WAS AT HOME. She took the last four T3s and was singing along to the radio in the kitchen while Crispy and Adam watched tv in the living room. She danced a little, but not much.
AMANDA WAS THERE, talking to Carrie. Whatever, thought Megan.
“It’s, like, the opposite of the problem I had in high school, when I had three consecutive boyfriends and none of them would fuck me.”
“Huh? Sorry, I missed the first part,” said Megan.
“No, it’s just that I’m sleeping with that guy over there and I’m also sleeping with another guy, but neither of them will date me. And I was just saying how that was, like, the opposite of my problem in high school. And it’s just funny how your problems change all the time.”
“Is that really the opposite problem?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Hmm.”
“What?”
“Well, I guess, in high school, having sex is a big commitment. It’s something a girl can hold you to. Like, ‘We had sex, you have to keep dating me!’”
“So, what are you saying?”
“I’m just saying your problem hasn’t changed. It’s the same problem. For some reason guys don’t want to commit to you. It’s probably in your personality or something.”
Anthea made a face. “Ugh, what the fuck, you’re right.”
“Sorry,” said Megan. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Hey, man, I don’t give a fuck.” Anthea shifted and drank her beer.
“I mean, it’s like how I have this same problem of being an asshole to everyone all the time,” said Megan.
“Oh come on, you’re not an asshole,” said Anthea.
Megan wanted to say, “Who the fuck are you and what the fuck do you know about me? You have no idea who I am or what I think so go fuck off.” But then she would have to stand by herself.
RANDY WAS STILL super pissed, and it was like every time he laughed or had a decent time, he was doing it to spite Megan, who he was pretty sure he was going to break up with sooner rather than later after today. God, just look at her over there. She already looked hammered and it was only 9:00.
AMANDA KEPT SHOOTING Megan glances and getting kind of mad that Megan wasn’t coming over to say hello. Wouldn’t that be the big thing to do? Every time they’d ever gotten into a fight, Amanda had been the person to make up, and she wanted proof this time that Megan could be the bigger person. It would be good for Megan to practice some humility. Unless the truth was that Megan didn’t really want to be friends with Amanda, and in that case.
ADAM, HONEY, do you mind if Mommy goes to make a phone call?”
Adam shook his head.
MEGAN WONDERED if maybe she ought to go over and talk to Amanda and Carrie. What would happen if she walked over there and pretended like there was no beef between any of them? Would that be possible? That seemed to be everyone else’s policy. Maybe she could try it.
ANTHEA WAS TALKING out her issues with Peter, the guy she was at the party with, and she was wondering if it was better to keep sleeping with him without them dating, or if she should offer him some kind of ultimatum and then (probably) get dumped and then wait around for someone who actually wanted to treat her decently. Learning a little self-respect might be a good thing. She wasn’t so arrogant that she couldn’t admit she didn’t always have the most self-respect. She started nodding.
JILLIAN WENT INTO her bedroom and cradled her cell phone in her hands and looked at it and felt chilly because of the ac.
“WHAT IS YOUR, LIKE, ultimate goal? What would be the one wish you would ask to have granted right now, if you—I mean, if that could actually happen?”
Megan stumbled a little bit out of drunkenness and opened another beer. “I would like to have sex with an enormous man.”
Anthea started laughing.
“No, I don’t mean his penis or his height or anything. I mean enormous” she indicated this with her hands, spreading her arms wide and moving them in circular sorts of patterns, “—to me. Enormous to me. I want to be psychically overwhelmed by a magical sex man.”
Anthea started laughing.
“What about you?” asked Megan.
“I guess I want that, too.”
“Hey, lets go talk to my friend Amanda over there.”
“All right, I know her.”
RANDY WATCHED MEGAN and the girl walk across the lawn towards Amanda and Carrie.
ADAM WAS WATCHING some show he didn’t fully understand about the intelligence of dolphins. He knew he wanted to touch one, to ride one, to have a dolphin choose him as a companion. Then he would know for sure what he suspected to be true, that there was something particular about him. To be chosen by a dolphin would confirm that.
CRISPY'S SKIN felt brittle for some reason. Sort of staticky, electric. She rubbed her belly slightly on the carpet and chewed on the rawhide bone. The way it liquefied in her mouth was soothing. She was able to mark her progress by comparing the size of the bone to the size of her hands. It was good to have something to do, some kind of activity, even if you didn’t really understand what you were doing or why you were doing it.
AMANDA NOTICED, obviously, that Megan was walking up. Why was she with a friend? Who was this poor girl? Didn’t this girl know what it was like to be friends with Megan, and just how fucking horrible that was? Was Megan going to apologize with witnesses around? Amanda prepared herself for anything.
“Hey,” said Megan. “Do you guys know Anthea?”
RATS AND SQUIRRELS frolicked in the alleys and yards respectively. Groups of raccoons walked around, crossing between alleys and streets using the gangways. A drunk girl and her boyfriend were walking to the grocery store to get more alcohol, and the girl noticed two yellow-green disks and mistook them for dog’s eyes, since they were attached to a head that was peeking out between the bars of a fenced-in yard. She thought the dog would be cute and she would say hi to it like she liked to do when she was drunk. As they got closer to the animal, she saw eight total of those yellow-green disks, realized they were raccoons, enormous raccoons, then screamed.