Such defiance was easy to imagine, but hard to actually achieve in this situation.
After a few moments Megan did sum up enough courage to tell Jimmy he needed to lower Samantha. It was only a small victory, though, because she knew Jimmy would realize this himself. She also worried that by suggesting this Jimmy would refuse, his own mind not wanting to give in to her.
The worst was when he told her he would let Samantha down, but only if Megan behaved herself. She didn’t want to be tied to Samantha like this. She didn’t want her defiance of him to harm her.
That is exactly what he wants, though.
Samantha had become her whipping girl.
It wasn’t fair.
Thankfully she didn’t have to think about this much because once Jimmy left the shelter her mind went back to the unrelenting pain, one which never fully disappeared. She couldn’t even put it out of her mind. This led her to think about a statement she had once heard on TV during one of those medical shows. A guy said something about living in chronic pain and how it was horrible because the one who suffered was always aware of it. Making it even more aggravating was the notion other people had about getting used to it. Even Megan had thought this would be the case. Now she knew differently. The ropes were constantly on her mind. At moments other thoughts seemed more pressing, but never fully acquired all of her attention.
Time passed and she suddenly realized Jimmy had not returned even though he had said something about cleaning them.
What if something had happened?
For the first time Megan realized she couldn’t wish for disaster upon Jimmy, not unless he left behind enough clues so people could find the two of them. If not then they would both die a slow death while hanging like this.
She also realized a part of her was craving his return even though she knew his actions would be horrible. She wanted him back because the long stretches of isolation were too much, especially with Samantha hanging lifeless.
Don’t!
She couldn’t help it and quickly grew angry with herself. You can’t let your dependence on him get the better of you! her mind screamed.
When it came to the population within her mind, this resistance movement was an ever shrinking figure despite how much she wished for it to grow.
Don’t give into him, the resistance part said.
Don’t give him reason to hurt you, the other part replied.
He doesn’t need a reason!
If he didn’t have a reason, however, she then wouldn’t have to feel guilty about it.
Samantha moaned.
Megan turned her attention toward her friend and realized she also didn’t want to feel like she was the cause of her pain.
It’s not your fault!
Megan knew this to be true but wondered how long she would be able to accept it.
How long before I turn into a willing prisoner and accept his rule over me?
Megan feared this more than pain.
The fresh air outside of the fallout shelter tasted wonderful and for the first time that day he didn’t care about the muggy wetness that clung to him. Instead he felt almost as if it was a complimentary cleansing process, one which promised to take the stench of the fallout shelter away from his body.
I could walk away. Just seal it off and walk away.
It was a nice thought but one he knew he couldn’t truly achieve because the cravings to see the girls would be too strong. The same thing happened with the porn he bought. After purchasing an online subscription or a video he always decided that it would be the last time, never again would he waste money on something like that, but then, a few days or weeks later depending on how strong his will power, he would find himself doing it again. He couldn’t stop.
Will you stop once the girls are dead?
He feared the answer to this question and quickly pushed the thoughts from his mind as he approached the backdoor of the Hood’s house. Many years earlier the door latch had been broken and people could come and go at will. Eventually the sheriff had gotten tired of having to check the place out all the time — mostly because a few kids got hurt while inside which sparked outrage from the parents — and installed a padlock on the door. Of course, this didn’t stop the kids from getting inside, which eventually led to the front door being padlocked as well, something which the sheriff had been hesitant to do because the Hoods still owned the place and could come back at anytime and would be furious if they found it locked. What made the situation even more frustrating for the sheriff was that he couldn’t have charges filled against anyone who broke inside because they needed the Hood family to be the one to complain, and no one could reach them. Thankfully for the sheriff this information wasn’t common knowledge. Even Jimmy had been ignorant of this fact until two years earlier when he had inadvertently asked his World History teacher about it. Before becoming a teacher the man had been a lawyer and at the time Jimmy was considering using the Hood place as a way of getting bondage videos mailed to him, so he asked him a series of carefully worded questions about the issue, ones that didn’t reveal his true plans but got him the answers he was looking for. The plan had never gotten off the ground though because when he attempted to mail a letter to himself with the Hood’s address as the delivery location, it never arrived. After this he decided to wait until he had his own place to buy bondage tapes, but then eventually gave in to the desire, his hope being that his parents never asked him about the boxes that were arriving, which was the whole reason why he wanted to use the Hood place to begin with. Thankfully the issue never came up. He lied about his age with a simple ‘Yes, I’m Over Eighteen’ age statement along with a fake birth date, and sent in Money Orders to get the tapes, which always arrived a few days later in plain boxes before his parents came home from work.
His knowledge about the legality of entering the Hood place never disappeared, and one day he decided to use their basement as a dungeon. His plan had been to grab a girl while walking home, tying her up and using her like crazy until he got tired of her, the ski mask he wore making it impossible for her to know who had done this just in case she was ever discovered. In the end the plan had been vetoed because he didn’t think the basement secure enough, but not before he had broken off the backdoor padlock with a pair of bolt cutters and put his own identical one on.
If the sheriff ever did try to get inside, something that wasn’t likely to happen because they would need a warrant, he would probably just assume he had misplaced the key and use bolt cutters as well once he failed to get inside. So far this had never happened, so Jimmy was confident the sheriff didn’t really care.
Using his own key, Jimmy opened the lock and went inside to look for a sponge and some soap, the dusty stale air not really bothering him because the stuff in the fallout shelter was still fresh in his mind.
The cobwebs, however, were a different story and grossed him out, especially when one caught him square in the face.
Waving his arms around to combat the dangling creations and spitting a bit out of his mouth, Jimmy entered the family room.
All the electronics had been picked clean, either by the Hood family as they were leaving or by kids who had broken inside over the years, but the wooden TV canopy was still present, its shelves ready to be filled once again with VHS and DVDS.
I should have left the bondage tapes in here, he said to himself, the thought having never even occurred to him.