I heard Joe come thundering down the steps. Then he was standing before me, looking incredibly cheerful.
‘Frankie, what’s up?’
I looked up at him in silence.
‘OK, what’s going on, and how are you going to let me know?’
I pointed my arm wildly toward the dyke and gestured for him to come with me.
Lassie the Wonder Dog.
‘Just let me get my shoes,’ Joe said.
Joe pushed me. His hands seemed to be bursting with energy. It was the hour when everything turns blue, metallic blue, when all the colour drains from things and leaves them blue and hard and dark before they slowly sink into blackness.
‘Is it far from here?’ Joe asked.
I pointed ahead. Joe started talking about the wonders of modern physics, a subject he was wild about in those days. He had a gift for monologue, Joe did.
Suddenly, when we were about halfway there, he stopped and said, ‘What’s this?’ He tapped his finger against the protective tube where I kept my telescope. It was a gift from Ma; she had realized early on that looking at things could help me shove aside depressing thoughts about my handicaps. The telescope hung at the side of my cart and was part of my expanding armoury. Joe unscrewed the cap and the telescope slid into his hand.
‘Wow,’ he said, raising the spyglass to his left eye.
I knew he could easily see the far side of the river and houses beyond the dyke there. It was a jewel of a telescope, a Kowa 823 with a 20–60 zoom and a 32x wide-angle lens.
‘So that’s what you do, huh? You keep an eye on us,’ he said as he lowered it. ‘But what nobody knows is what’s really going on inside your head.’
He aimed the telescope at me like a pointer. My face flushed in embarrassment; the looker had been seen — I, who had thought I was invisible because no one paid attention to me for more than thirty seconds, had not escaped his gaze. Gratitude welled up in my throat — I was being seen, seen by the only person in the world who I cared to be seen by. .
‘Hey, it’s OK, man.’
Could I help it? I was touched.
I gestured that we had to get going, for all I knew Sam might have fallen out of the tree while we were standing there. But when we got to the scour-hole he was nowhere in sight. I searched the ground beneath the trees in a panic, but he wasn’t lying there, groaning with his back broken or his leg bent double. Calm seemed to have returned to the jackdaw community. Maybe Sam had made it down on his own and walked home across the fields. And now I still didn’t have my jackdaw.
Joe just stood there beside me, with no idea what was going on. I tugged on his sleeve and he bent over to me.
‘What are we supposed to do now?’
Using my good hand, I did my best to imitate the flapping of wings — it could just as easily have been taken for the clawing of an excavator or a hungry Pacman — and pointed to the trees. Joe looked at the birds flying back and forth, and at the sky drawing to a close behind them, then said, ‘Am I right in thinking that you want a little crow?’
I grinned like a chimp.
‘And you want me to get one out of a nest for you, is that what we’re doing here?’
He shook his head in bemusement, but then slid down the side of the scour-hole with no further ado, climbed into a tree as nimbly as a ninja and was back in no time. In his hand was a huddled fledgling. The little bird had nervous, flashing eyes and a flat, broad beak. Pin-feathers stuck out here and there from its blue and reddish skin, between them there was a kind of greasy down. It was the ugliest thing I’d seen in a while.
‘Is this what you’re after?’ Joe asked in disbelief.
He laid the little creature on my lap and I carefully cupped my hand around it.
‘Be careful with that bone cruncher of yours.’
The jackdaw was warm and a little sticky; despite its tininess it felt like one huge pounding heart, throbbing away in the palm of my hand.
‘I guess so,’ Joe said with a shrug. ‘I guess everyone needs something to pet.’
Grabbing the handles of the cart, he wheeled me around in the direction of Lomark. I shielded the little jackdaw carefully with my hand. He was to become my Eyes in the Sky and would go by the name of Wednesday, for the day I found him. A gentle rain started falling. I was very happy.
When I turned fifteen I let my parents know that I wanted to move into the garden house at the back of our yard. I could already do some things for myself by then, and heating up a can of hot dogs wouldn’t present much of a problem. Ma was against it; Pa insulated the place and installed a gas fire, a little kitchen and a toilet. Above the door he nailed a horseshoe for good luck. After that my parents became my neighbours across the way, I showered at their place and sometimes watched TV there. Wednesday occupied a cage at the side of the house, and it was his custom during the day to ride around on my shoulder like a pirate’s parrot. He had already learned to fly, he would sometimes be gone for half an hour at a time, but he always came back when I whistled.
It was there in that little house of mine that I started writing everything down. And I do mean everything. Some people find it hard to believe that I make an almost literal reproduction of this life on paper. To look at my diaries is to see time — here is what 365 days look like, this is ten times 365 days, or fifteen, or twenty. It’s almost too big to see over, it’s a mountain growing backwards into the past. And it’s all in there — at least, if it happened when I was around or if someone told me about it. If you came by today, for example, I’d write that down. Something along the lines of: So-and-so came by, around that time and on this day. And if there was something about you that struck me, if you had weird ears or a pretty nose, I’d write that down too, and what you came here to do and how you did it. But other things as well, about how the autumn rain, for example, rinses the blond from our hair, letting the dark winter hair appear beneath, and about the river that runs through our lives the way the bloodstream runs through our bodies.
When I write I often think about the great samurai Miyamoto Musashi, who said that the samurai walks a twofold path: the way of the sword and that of the brush — the pen, in other words. The Way of the Sword is a little tough for me, so all that leaves me is the pen. I got that from The Book of Five Rings, Go Rin No Sho, which I found in the library and read to a tatter. I never brought it back.
Musashi is Kensei, the Sword Saint, who never lost a single fight in his life. His full name was Shinmen Musashi No Kami Fujiwara No Genshin, just plain Musashi to his friends. He was born in Japan in 1584 and slew his first opponent at the age of thirteen. Many fights followed, and he never lost a one of them. He was a legend in his own time, but said that he only began to grasp the tenets of strategy around the age of fifty. The Book of Five Rings is about how to fight like him, but it’s also full of good advice, even if you’re not much of a swordsman.
With the force of strategy I practiced many arts and skills — all of them without a teacher. In writing this book I did not make use of the teachings of Buddha or of Confucius, nor did I consult the old chronicles of war or books of martial arts. I took my brush in hand to explain the true spirit of this Ichi School, as reflected in the Way of Heaven and Kwannon. It is now the middle of the night, on the tenth day of the tenth month: the hour of the tiger.