"Jo-nah," she whispered brokenly in her sleep.
She was not awake; she didn't know he was at her side. He lifted the cloth from her brow and replaced it with a fresh one.
"Jo-nah, Jonah, nooooo." So heartbroken that sound, so lost and desolate.
He laid a hand to her cheek, and his heart hurt like sunshine cracking hard layers of ice, like spring come to the land.
"I have the blackbale powder." Anya gazed down at the bed, at Tessa who stared up at them in delirium, not seeing them, not seeing anything. "Susan, do you remember how much of this Tessa gave to Mercy?"
"Nay, I was too distraught to notice, I'm ashamed to say." Susan knelt at the bedside, her hands clenched.
Thomas stood behind her, his face shadowed. The reverend crowded close, opening his well-worn Bible.
Jonah pressed a kiss to his wife's cheek and dropped a pinch of the ground powder on the center of her tongue.
Now, they waited. He set the little bowl aside and took Tessa's hands, determined to hold her, to stand beside her until the very end.
Chapter Sixteen
Tessa opened her eyes. Sunshine, warm and merry, slashed through the generous window of the room. She recognized the diamond paned windows and the chest of drawers and her mother's trunk leaned against the wall.
"So, you're finally awake."
She recognized that voice too, rum rich and rumbling like tempered thunder. She turned her head on the pillow and saw him seated in a chair at her side. Dark circles rimmed his eyes, and lines crinkled around the bold cut of his mouth. He looked like a man who hadn't slept in many nights.
"Why am I here? I don't live here anymore. I don't understand." Her chest felt tight and her whole body felt achy. "I want to go home."
"You are home, now and forever." Warm strong fingers encircled hers, holding her in a grip that felt possessive and claiming, the way a man holds a wife he loves. "I brought you here as soon as the fever broke. I couldn't stand seeing you in Bradford's house, not when you have a place where you're loved and cherished."
"Jonah, nay, I-"
" 'Tis the truth. I love you." A slow curve of his mouth drew her gaze, but it was the true emotion in his eyes that surprised her, emotion bright as a thousand suns and twice as everlasting.
Hope grew within, sweet and new.
"I cannot live without you. I know that now." His kiss brushed her knuckles. "I will never be anything without you. Because you married me, and opened wide my heart."
"But you never loved me. You never loved-" Tears burned, and she turned her head away. She was not strong enough for this. She was thirsty and nauseous and tremblingly weak from the fever. Even the sun hurt her eyes.
"You are wrong, Tessa. I loved you all along. Why else would I have given my life over to you? And maybe, just maybe, I thought of that ridiculous way to choose a wife because deep down inside I knew it was you who would offer. You were the one I wanted."
"Jonah." How could this be true? And yet throughout their marriage he had cared for her. He'd made sure she had rest and meals. He'd found a servant so she would not have to work hard, and bought her clothes, and even took her to the seamstress.
And most of all, he'd taken care of her when she was ill. He'd stayed by her side, just as he'd done for his father.
No one had ever cared for her that much.
"I had the same dream over and over when I was sick." She dared to look at him, the love she felt for him growing stronger once again.
"You called my name when you were feverish." He shifted on the chair, drawing closer so that she could see his capable shoulders and rock-hard chest and the handsome way his slow smile changed his face.
"Aye. I dreamed we were in the forest together and you told me you no longer wanted me. 'Twas horrible, and you left me, running away into the mists, and I couldn't find you."
"An impossible nightmare. How could I leave you?" He pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. "You have my heart. Every last bit of it. For now and forever."
She gazed up at him and saw what she'd never seen before. He understood that the quiet challenge of loving another took the greatest courage. But he was a courageous man-her own hero-and she knew with unending certainty he would love her every moment of every day.
"Come, I want to show you something." He pulled back the covers.
"I'm not strong enough to walk."
"Then I will carry you."
He gathered her into his arms, and how wondrous it felt to be cradled against his chest.
"I had much time to think whilst we waited for your fever to break." He navigated the stairs with ease, holding her close.
"What? You were thinking?"
"Aye, 'tis shocking, I know. But every once in awhile I am capable of it. And I did see what a thick-skulled dolt I was. I should warn you that I'll probably show this trait from time to time, for it runs in my family. Surely you've noticed this same fault in my brothers."
"Now, I heard that." Thomas looked up from his Sunday afternoon reading.
Andy closed his book. " Tis good to see you awake, sister. Mayhap I should fetch you some tea."
"That sounds wonderful," she answered as Jonah lowered her onto a hard wooden bench. She didn't remember a bench being in their comfortable parlor. In fact, much had changed since she last saw this room.
Andy scampered off, footsteps echoing in the nearly empty room, on the floors without carpets, on walls without tapestries, on windows without curtains.
"What is this?"
A wicked grin teased dimples into his cheeks and a mischievous spark twinkled in eyes as dark as midnight. "All our furniture is in Mistress Briers' stable. She has agreed to upholster it anew for you."
"For me?"
"Aye, you are the lady of this house now, Tessa. 'Tis your home, and you should make it yours." His fingertips brushed curls out of her eyes, an infinitely tender act. "Besides, you know the place. What do four men know about decorating? 'Twas an eyesore. We're depending on you to save us from our lack of taste."
"Not again?"
"Aye. I need your skills yet again." Humor twinkled in eyes as dark as a devil's.
And she saw it then, as the colonel ambled into the room with a book in hand and Thomas sat awaiting her answer with hope in his eyes and Andy returned holding a cup of steaming tea just for her. This was her family, her real family, and they loved her as she loved them.
Her husband, her wonderful husband, stood and took the cup from his brother. "So, what do you think?"
"This needing me is becoming a habit. First I save your father and brother. Then I find Anya to save your sorry souls. And now you want new furnishings."
"Aye. I might very well need you for the rest of my life." He knelt before her, but it was love that blended with the glinting humor in his eyes, love that gentled his voice. "Especially since I will be needing a son or daughter."
And how wickedly he said it, as if he wanted to haul her back upstairs and lay her down in that bed-Even weak, she felt desire pool hot and low.
"All right, Jonah. As you know, I'm always a dutiful wife."
That made him laugh. She could see it now. There would be children racing around these rooms, the colonel watching them over the top of his book, and Jonah at her side.
"Andy, what kind of tea did you bring me?" She sniffed at the bitter brew.
"Why, 'tis your bird dropping tea, of course." Andy grinned, and she recognized the slant of revenge in that unabashed grin.
The colonel threw back his head and laughed. "That a boy, give her a dose of her own medicine. Then she'll know how we have suffered."
"Drink it, sweet Tessa." Jonah kissed her brow again. "For I want my beloved wife well and strong. We have such a wondrous life ahead of us."
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