S: (subject reacts slowly, speaking as his own guide) You know ... you could have done better...
Dr. N: Quickly nou-be Ross Feldon again. Move to the other side of the table and answer Clodees.
S: I ... tried ... but I fell short of the goal ...
Dr. N: Switch places again. Become the voice of Clodees' thoughts and answer Ross. Quickly!
S: If you could change anything about your life, what would it be?
Dr. N: Respond as Ross.
S: Not to be ... corrupted ... by power and money.
Dr. N: Answer as Clodees.
S: Why did you let these things detract from your original commitment?
Dr. N: (I lower my voice) You are doing fine. Keep switching chairs back and forth at the table. Now answer your guide's question.
S: I wanted to belong ... to feel important in the community ... to rise above others and be admired ... for my strength.
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: Especially by women. I observed you tried to dominate them sexually as well, making conquests without attachments.
Dr. N: Speak as Ross.
S: Yes ... that's true ... (shakes head from side to side) I don't have to explain-you know everything anyway.
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: Oh, but you do. You must bring your self-awareness to bear on these matters.
Dr. N: Answer as Ross.
S: (defiantly) If I hadn't exerted power over these people they would have controlled me.
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: This lacks merit and was unworthy of you. What you became is not how you started. We chose your parents carefully.
Note: The Feldon family were farmers of modest means who displayed honesty, forbearance, and sacrificed much so Ross could study law.
Dr. N: Answer as Ross.
S: (in a rush) Yes-I know-they brought me up to be idealisticto help the little guy, and I wanted this, too, but it didn't work for me. You saw what happened. I was in debt when I began as a lawyer ... ineffective ... of no consequence. I didn't want to be poor anymore, defending people who couldn't pay me. I hated the farmthe pigs and the cows. I liked being around substantial people and when I joined the establishment as a prosecutor, I had the idea of reforming the system and helping farm people. It was the system that was wrong.
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: Ah, you were corrupted by the system-explain this to me.
Dr. N: Answer as Ross.
S: (hotly) People had to pay fines they couldn't afford-others I sent to jail because of offenses they didn't mean to commit-others I had hung! (voice breaks) I became a legal killer.
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: Why did you feel responsible for prosecuting criminals who were guilty of hurting others?
Dr. N: Answer as Ross.
S: Few of those ... most were ... just ordinary people like my parents who got caught up in the system ... needing money to survive ... and there were those who were ... sick in the head ...
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: What about the victims of the people you prosecuted? Didn't you choose a life of law to help society and to make the farms and the towns safer with justice?
Dr. N: Answer as Ross.
S: (loudly) Don't you see, it didn't work for me-I was turned into a murderer by a primitive society!
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: And so you murdered yourself?
Dr. N: Answer as Ross.
S: I got off track ... I couldn't go back to being a nobody ... and I couldn't go forward.
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: Too easily you became a participant with those whose motivations were for personal gain and notoriety. This was not you. Why did you hide from yourself?
Dr. N: Answer as Ross.
S: (with anger) Why didn't you help me more-when I started as a public defender?
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: What benefit do you get from thinking I should pick you up at every turn?
Dr. N: (I ask Hester to respond as Ross, but when she remains silent after the last question, I step in) Ross, if I may interrupt-I believe Clodees is inquiring into the payoff for you from both the pain you feel now and strokes you get from blaming him over your last life.
S: (pause) Wanting sympathy ... I guess.
Dr. N: Okay, respond as Clodees to this thought.
S: (very slowly) What more would you have me do? You didn't reach far enough inside yourself. I placed thoughts in your mind of temperance, moderation, responsibility, original goals, your parents' love-you ignored these thoughts and were stubborn to alternative action.
S: (Ross responds without my command) I know I missed the signs you set up ... I wasted opportunities ... I was afraid ...
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees to your statement.
S: What do you value most about who you are?
Dr. N: Answer your guide.
S: That I had the desire to change things on Earth. I started with wanting to make a difference for the people of Earth.
Dr. N: Respond as Clodees.
S: You left that assignment early and now I see you missing opportunities again-being afraid to take risks-taking paths which damage you-trying to become someone who is not you and there is sadness again.
Recreating the orientation stage does produce abrupt transitions during my hypnosis sessions. While Case 13 is speaking as Clodees, notice how her responses take on a more lucid and decisive quality which is different from either my client Hester, or her former self as Ross. I am not always successful with my subjects translating their guides' comments so insightfully in former spiritual orientations. Nevertheless, past life memories often spill over into contemporary problems in whatever spiritual setting is selected.
Whether my subject or her guide actually directed the conversation in the Buckhorn Bar scene while I moved the time frame around does not matter to me. After all, Ross Feldon as a person is dead. But Hester is caught in the same quagmire, and I want to do what I can to break this destructive pattern of behavior. I spend a few minutes reviewing with this subject what her guide has indicated about lack of self-concept, alienation, and lost values. After asking Clodees for his continued assistance, I close the orientation scene and immediately take Hester to a later spiritual stage just before her rebirth today.
Dr. N: With all the knowledge of who you were as Ross, and having a greater understanding of your real spiritual identity after your stay in the spirit world, why did you choose your current body?
S: I chose to be a woman so people would not feel intimidated by me.
Dr. N: Really? Then why did you take the body of such a strong, forceful woman in the twentieth century?
S: They won't see a prosecuting attorney dressed in black in a courtroom-this time I am a surprise package!
Dr. N: A surprise package? What does that mean?
S: As a woman, I knew I would be less intimidating to men. I can catch them off guard and scare them to death.
Dr. N: What kind of men?
S: The big guys-the power structure in society-catch then when they are lulled into a false sense of security because I'm a woman.
Dr. N: Catch them and do what?
S: (drives her right fist into the left palm) Nail them-to save the little guy from the sharks who want to eat up all the small fish in this world.
Dr. N: (I move my subject into the present while she remains in the superconscious state) Let me understand your reason for choosing to be a woman in this life. You wanted to help the same sort of people who you were unable to help as a man in your previous life-is this correct?
S: (sadly) Yeah, but it's not the best way. It's not working out for me like I thought. I'm still too strong and macho. Energy is pouring out of me in the wrong direction.
Dr. N: What wrong direction?