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“Arrest the three monks,” the king ordered. The guard officers in attendance grabbed Pig first as he looked dangerous, pushed him down, and tied him up with his hands behind his back. Sanzang was so terrified that he shouted, “Your Majesty, grand this poor monk a couple of hours' reprieve. My disciple achieved countless good deeds after he was converted. Today he has died in the cauldron of boiling oil because he offended Your Majesty. Those who die first become gods, and I am not greedy to stay alive. Indeed, those in authority in the world look after the world's people. If Your Majesty tell me to die, your subject will not dare disobey. I only ask you in your mercy to grant me a bowl of cold gruel and three paper horses that I can place in front of the cauldron. I would like to burn the paper as a mark of my feeling for my disciple, and I will then be ready to go to my execution.”

“Very well,” said the King. “What a fine sense of honour these Chinese have.” He then ordered that some gruel and yellow paper be given to the Tang Priest, which was done.

Sanzang told Friar Sand to come with him as the two of them went to the foot of the steps while several guard officers dragged Pig by his ears to the cauldron. Sanzang said this invocation before the cauldron: “Disciple Sun Wukong,

Since being ordained and then joining our order

You cared for and guarded me travelling West.

We hoped to complete our great journey together.

Who would have thought you would here to go rest?

Your life's only aim was collecting the scriptures,

And even when dead on the Buddha you ponder.

Now far, far away you true spirit is waiting;

As a ghost will you climb to the temple of Thunder.”

“Master,” said Pig when he heard this, “there's no need for an invocation like that. Friar Sand, fetch me some gruel and I'll make an invocation.” Then the idiot said, snorting with anger as he lay tied up on the ground,

“Trouble-making monkey,

Ignorant Protector of the Horses.

The monkey deserved to die,

The Protector had to fry.

The Monkey found it too hot,

The Protector's had his lot.”

When Monkey at the bottom of the cauldron heard the idiot abusing him like that he could not restrain himself from turning back into himself, standing up in the cauldron, and saying, “Dreg-guzzling moron! Who do you think you're swearing at?”

“Disciple,” said Sanzang on seeing him, “you gave me a terrible fright.”

“Big Brother's used to shamming dead,” said Friar Sand. The civil and military officials were thrown into such a panic that they went forward to report to the king.

“Your Majesty, the monk did not die. He has just stood up in the cauldron.” The officer supervising the executions was afraid that he would be in trouble for having earlier made a false report to the king, so he submitted a new one: “The monk did die, but as this is an ill-omened day he has come back as a ghost to haunt us.”

This made Monkey so angry that he sprang out of the cauldron, wiped the oil off himself, put on his clothes, pulled out his cudgel, and hit the supervisor of the executions so hard that his head turned to a meatball. “A ghost, indeed,” he said, giving the officers such a fright that they untied Pig, fell to their knees, and pleaded, “Forgive us, forgive us.” As the king came down from his dragon throne Monkey went into the hall, seized hold of him, and said, “Don't go, Your Majesty. Make the Third Teacher of the Nation get into the cauldron of oil now.”

“Third Teacher of the Nation,” said the king with much trembling, “you must get into the cauldron at once to save my life.

“Don't let the monk hit me.” Antelope Power then went down from the throne hall and like Monkey took off his clothes, jumped into the oil, and went through the motions of washing himself.

Monkey let the king go, went up to the cauldron, and told those tending the fire to add more fuel. Then he put out his hand to feel and found to his astonishment that the bubbling oil was icy cold.

“It was boiling hot when I had my bath,” he thought, “but it's cold for his. I'm sure that one of the dragon kings must be protecting him.” He leap straight up into midair, said the magic word “Om,” and summoned the Dragon King of the Northern Ocean.

“I'll get you, you horned worm, you loach with scales on,” said Monkey. “How dare you help the Taoist by protecting the bottom of the cauldron as a cold dragon and letting him beat me in this display of divine powers!”

The dragon king was so frightened that he kept making respectful noises as he replied, “I'd never have dared help him. There is more to this than you realize, Great Sage. That evil beast has strenuously cultivated his conduct, shaken off his original shell, and has only really kept his five-thunder magic. In all other respects he has taken the path of heresy and could never return to the true Way. This is the 'Great Opening-up' that he learned on Lesser Mount Mao. The other two have already had their powers defeated by you, Great Sage, and reverted to their true appearances. The cold dragon this one uses is one that he created for himself, but it is only a trick with which to fool common mortals: it could not deceive you, Great Sage. I shall now take that cold dragon under my control, and guarantee that his skin and bones will now be fried to a crisp.”

“Hurry up about it if you don't want a beating,” said Monkey, at which the dragon king changed into a fierce gust of wind that seized the cold dragon and carried it off to the sea.

Monkey now came down to earth and stood beside Sanzang, Pig and Friar Sand in front of the throne hall watching the Taoist struggling without success to climb out of the boiling oil. Then the Taoist slipped back into the cauldron, and in an instant his bones came apart as his skin was fried crisp and his flesh cooked tender.

The official supervising the executions came in again to report, “Your Majesty, the Third Teacher of the Nation has been deep-fried to death.” The tears gushed from the king's eyes as he struck the table by the throne and cried aloud,

“Hard is the gaining of life and hard is its end;

Elixir never refine without true instruction.

Vainly the spirits are raced and water-spells made;

Pills that can make you immortal are only a fiction.

Nirvana can never be won by a mind in disorder;

Cunning is useless when all it can cause is destruction.

Had I been warned that all could so easily fail,

I'd have kept to the diet and chosen a life of inaction.”

Indeed:

There was no use in the golden touch and in making elixir;

Calling up wind and summoning rain all ended in failure.

If you do not know how the master and his disciples continued, listen to the explanation in the next installment.

Chapter 47

The Holy Monk Is Stopped by the River of Heaven at Night

Metal and Wood in Their Mercy Rescue a Child

The king collapsed on his throne in tears and cried till nightfall. Then Monkey stepped forward and called out, “Don't be so silly. Look at those Taoists' bodies. One was a tiger and the other was a deer. Antelope Power was an antelope. If you don't believe me, have his bones fished out and take a look at them. Is that a human skeleton? They were all mountain beasts who became spirits and came here to destroy you. The only reason they had not struck yet was because your life force is still strong; but in another couple of years when your life force was weaker they would have murdered you and your whole kingdom would have been theirs. You are very lucky that we came here in time to destroy their evil and save your life. What are you crying for? Give us our passport at once and let us go.”