“Where are they from?” Squire Gao asked. “He says that his master is a saintly monk, the younger brother of the Emperor of the East, who has sent him to visit the Buddha in the Western Heaven and seek the scriptures,” the young man replied.
“But even if they're monks from far away, they may not really be capable of anything. Where are they now?”
“Waiting outside the gate.”
The old man quickly put on his best clothes and went out with the youngster to greet them, addressing them as “Venerable Elders.” Sanzang turned hurriedly round when he heard this, and found them standing before him. The older man was wearing a black silk turban, an onion-white robe of Sichuan brocade, a pair of calf-skin boots the color of unpolished rice, and a belt of black silk.
He came forward and said with a smile, “Greetings, Venerable Elders,” as he bowed, holding his hands together. Sanzang returned his bow, but Monkey stood there immobile. At the sight of Brother Monkey's ugly face the old man decided not to bow to him.
“Why won't you pay your respects to me?” Monkey asked, at which the old man, somewhat frightened, said to the young man, “You'll be the death of me, you little wretch. We've already got one hideous monster at home as a son-in-law we can't get rid of, so why ever did you have to bring this thunder god here to ruin us?”
“Gao, old chap, you've been living all these years for nothing-you've still got no sense. It's completely wrong to judge people by their faces. I may be no beauty, but I'm quite clever. I'll grab that evil spirit for you, catch that demon, seize your son-in-law, and give you back your daughter. I'll be doing you a good turn, so there's no need to fuss about my looks.” The old man, now shaking with fear, pulled himself together and asked them in. Monkey took the horse's bridle, told the young man to carry the luggage, and went in with Sanzang. In his usual devil-may-care way he tethered the horse to one of the pillars of an open-air pavilion, pulled up a gleaming lacquered armchair, and told his master to sit down. Then he brought over a chair for himself and sat beside him.
“The younger venerable elder has already made himself at home,” Squire Gao remarked.
“I'd feel at home here if you entertained us for six months,” Brother Monkey replied.
When they were all seated the old man said, “The boy told me a moment ago that you were from the East.”
“That's right,” Sanzang replied. “The court has sent me to worship the Buddha in the Western Heaven and ask for the scriptures. As we are passing this way on our journey, we would like to spend the night here before continuing on our way tomorrow morning.”
“If you two gentlemen just want to spend the night here, why all the talk about catching monsters?”
“As we'll be spending the night here,” Monkey put in, “we though it would be fun to catch a few monsters while we're about it. May I ask how many there are in your residence?”
“Good heavens,” the old man exclaimed, “however many do you want? We've only got this monster of a son-in-law, and he's ruined our lives.”
“Tell me all about this monster from the beginning,” Monkey said. “I must know about his magic powers if I'm to capture him for you.”
“This village has never had any trouble from ghosts, demons or evil spirits before. It was my misfortune to have no son, and three daughters, of whom the eldest is called Fragrant Orchid, the second Jade Orchid, and the third Blue Orchid. The other two were betrothed to men from the village when they were children and have been married off. I wanted the third to marry a man who would live here to support-me in my old age, look after the household, and do jobs about the place. About three years ago a good-looking young fellow turned up who said that his name was Zhu and he came from the Mountain of Blessing. He told me that he had no parents or brothers, and wanted to marry and live with his in-laws. As he had no family commitments I offered him my daughter's hand, old fool that I am, and from the moment he became a member of our family he worked very hard. He ploughed and hoed without using oxen or tools; and he didn't need a scythe or a stick to harvest the crops. As day followed day, there was nothing wrong with him, except that he started to look different.”
“How?” Monkey asked.
“At first he was a plump, dark chap, but later on he became a long-nosed, big-eared idiot with thick black hairs running down from the back of his head and a great, thick body. His face is just like a pig's. His appetite is enormous, too. He needs several bushels of grain at every main meal, and over a hundred griddle-cakes for breakfast. Luckily he is a vegetarian. If he ate meat and wine he would have ruined us in six months.”
“He has to eat so much because he works so hard,” Sanzang commented.
“But that's not the main thing.” Squire Gao continued. “He can also summon up a wind, make clouds and mist come and go, and send pebbles and sand flying. He's terrified our neighbors, who don't feel safe living here any longer! He's shut my daughter away in the building at the back, and nobody's seen her for six months. We don't even know if she's still alive. That is how we know he's an evil monster, and why we want a priest to come and get rid of him.”
“No difficulty there,” Monkey replied. “Don't worry, old chap, I guarantee that I'll get him tonight, make him write out a document divorcing your daughter, and bring her back to you. What do you say to that?”
“Because I thought there'd be no harm in offering him my daughter, I've ruined my reputation and estranged all my relations,” Squire Gao replied. “If you can catch him, why bother with a divorce document? Wipe him out for me, if you please.”
“Easy, easy,” said Monkey. “I'll get him tonight.”
The old man was delighted. He had a table and chairs set out and wiped clean, and a vegetarian meal brought in. When the meal was over and he was about to go to bed, the old man asked, “What weapons and how many men will you need? I'll get everything ready in good time.”
“I have a weapon,” Monkey replied.
“You two gentlemen only have your monastic staves-how will you be able to kill the fiend with them?” the old man asked. Monkey produced the embroidery needle from his ear, held it between his fingers, and shook it in the wind. It turned into the gold-banded cudgel as thick as a rice-bowl. Monkey turned to Squire Gao and asked, “How does this cudgel compare with the weapons you have in here? Will it do to kill the monster?”
“So you have the weapon,” the old man went on, “but what about the men?”
“I can do it single-handed.” Monkey replied, “though I would like a few respectable old gentlemen to come in and keep my master company while I'm away from him. When I've captured the monster they can witness his confession before I wipe him out for you.” The old man thereupon sent his servants to ask a few old friends over, and before long they had all arrived. When the introductions were over Monkey said, “Master, you sit here and don't worry. I'm off.”
Just watch Monkey as with his cudgel in his hand he takes hold of the old man and says, “Take me to the building at the back. I want to see where this evil spirit lives.” Squire Gao led him to the door of the back building, and Monkey told him to bring the key at once. “Look here,” the old man answered, “if a key would have done the trick, I wouldn't have had to ask for your services.”
“Can't you tell at your age when someone's joking?” Monkey asked. “I was only teasing. You shouldn't have taken me seriously.” He felt the lock and found that molten copper had been poured into it, so he struck it a vicious blow with his cudgel and shattered it. Pushing the doors open, he saw that it was pitch-black inside. “Call your daughter's name, Old Gao, to see whether she's in here,” he said.