I wonder if at any time my followers will come
To let me fetch the scriptures and complete my journey home.”
Monkey could not restrain himself from calling to him, “Master, don't be so upset about troubles by water. As the Classic of Water Disaster has it, 'Earth is the mother of the Five Elements, and water is their origin. Without earth there can be no life, and without water there can be no growth.' I'm here.”
“Save me, disciple,” said Sanzang, hearing Monkey's voice.
“Don't worry,” said Monkey, “I promise we'll save you when we've captured the monster.”
“Act fast,” said Sanzang. “If I'm here for another day I'll die of suffocation.”
“No problem,” said Monkey, “no problem. I'm off.” He turned, sprang out through the main doors, turned back into himself, and called for Pig.
“What's happening?” asked the idiot and Friar Sand as they came up to him.
“The monster caught the master with that trick,” Monkey replied. “He's unhurt, but the monster has put him inside a stone chest. You two challenge the monster to battle at once while I get out of the water. Capture him if you can, and if you can't then pretend to be beaten and lure him out of the water for me to kill.”
“Out you go, brother, and don't worry,” said Friar Sand. “We'll find out what the monster's really like.” Monkey then made a water-averting spell with his hands, shot up through the waves, and stood on the bank to wait.
Watch while Pig charges at the doors in a murderous mood yelling, “Damned monster, give us our master back.”
The little devils inside the doors rushed back in panic to report, “Your Majesty, there are people outside asking for their master.”
“It must be those bloody monks here,” said the monster. “Fetch my armor and weapons at once.” The little devils ran to fetch them, and when the monster was in his armor and holding his weapons in his hand he ordered that the doors be opened. As he came out Pig and Friar Sand, who were standing one to each side, could see how he was dressed and equipped. He was a fine monster. Just look:
On his head a gleaming helmet of gold,
On his body golden armor that made a rainbow.
His belt was studded thick with pearls and jade;
The strange boots on his feet were of smoky yellow leather.
His nose was as high as a mountain ridge,
His brow as majestically broad as a dragon's.
Fierce and round were his eyes that flashed,
Spikes of steel were his sharp, neat teeth.
His short, matted hair seemed to be ablaze,
And his long whiskers bristled like golden spikes.
In his mouth he was chewing a tender reed
While he wielded a nine-knobbed mace of copper.
The noise when the doors were opened wide
Rivaled the crashing of thunder in spring.
Few such could be seen in the world of mortals:
The Great King truly deserves his title.
The evil spirit came outside accompanied by a hundred or more of his little devils, who brandished their swords and spears as they formed themselves up into two companies. “Where are you from, monks,” he asked Pig, “and why are you making this horrible noise here?”
“You got away before, but I'll get you now, damned monster,” Pig shouted back. “Stop pretending you don't know who I am-we've had words already. I'm a disciple of the holy priest from the Great Tang who's going to worship the Buddha and collect the scriptures in the Western Heaven. You and your little tricks, calling yourself the Great King of Miraculous Response, and eating boys and girls in Chen Village. Can't you recognize me? I was the Chen family's little girl, Pan of Gold.”
“Monk,” said the monster, “you're a disgrace. You deserve to be punished for fraudulent impersonation if you turned yourself into that girl. You wounded the back of my hand although I never ate you. I let you off that time, so why have you come to my front door looking for me?”
“What do you mean, let me off?” said Pig. “You made that cold wind and the snow, froze the river, and are going to kill the master. As soon as you give him back there'll be no more trouble, but if you so much as start to say no you'll get it from this rake of mine, and it'll show you no mercy.”
The evil spirit's response to this was a mocking laugh. “That's fancy talk, monk,” he said, “but it's a load of nonsense, except that I did make the cold, the snow and the ice and I have captured your master. You may think you can get him back by coming here and shouting, but this time things are different. Last time I was unarmed as I was going to a banquet, which was why you took me by surprise and wounded me. This time I'll fight three rounds with you if you don't make yourself scarce. If you're a match for me I'll give you back your master, but if you're not, you'll be eaten too.”
“What a good little boy,” said Pig. “Just what I expected to hear from you. Watch out for my rake!”
“So you only became a monk in middle life,” said the monster.
“You really do have some miraculous responsiveness, my boy,” Pig replied. “How did you know that?”
“If you fight with a rake that must mean you used to be a hired hand in a vegetable garden and stole it,” said the monster.
“My boy,” said Pig, “this isn't a farming rake. Just look at it:
Its mighty prongs are like dragon claws
Set with gold in the from of serpents.
In battle with a foe it makes cold winds
Till it gives off flames in a longer fight.
It kills off demons for the holy priest
Subduing evil spirits on the journey West.
When it stirs up clouds it bolts out sun and moon,
Making the colours of sunset brightly shine.
It could knock down Mount Tai, to the terror of the tigers,
Turn the oceans upside down, alarming all the dragons.
I could spare you for the sake of your mighty powers,
But if I struck you with the rake it would make nine holes.”
Refusing to believe this the monster raised his copper mace and struck at Pig's head. Pig parried the blow with his rake and said, “Damn you, you're just an evil creature turned spirit in middle life.”
“How can you tell that?” the monster asked.
“As you fight with a mace I think you must have worked as a furnace-man for a silversmith, got your hands on that hammer, and stolen it,” Pig replied.
“It's no silversmith's hammer,” the monster said. “Look at it:
Its nine knobs all are like the buds of flowers
Growing on a sprig of an evergreen plant.
This never was a product of the earthly world,
For it came from the gardens of immortal beings.
Its green and purple fruit matured by the Jade Pool;
Its pure fragrance was formed beside the Nephrite Pond.
Because I worked and tempered it with diligence and skill
It now is hard as steel and miraculously sharp.
Spears, swords and halberds are not its worthy rivals;
Battleaxe and partisan do not dare approach.
No matter how sharp are the prongs of your rake,
If they touch my hammer they'll bend and they'll break.”
This conversation between the two of them was too much for Friar Sand, who came forward and said, “Monster, stop all that empty talk. As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. Wait there and see how you like my staff.”
The monster parried it with his mace and replied, “You're another one who became a monk in middle life.”
“How can you tell?” Friar Sand asked.
“From the look of you you must have been a miller before,” the monster replied.
“What makes you think that?” Friar Sand asked.
“Why would you fight with a noodle-making pole if you weren't a miller?” the monster asked.
“You evil thing,” said Friar Sand, “What you can't see is that