“They're only walnut-sized,” Pig replied. “That wouldn't be enough for a single mouthful if I were taking them.” The three disciples then put the pills into a large box and went to bed fully dressed.
It was soon dawn, and despite his sickness the king held court, asking the Tang Priest to come to see him and sending all his officials straight to the Hostel of Meeting to pay their respects to the holy monk, the Venerable Sun, and fetch the medicine.
When the officials reached the hostel they prostrated themselves before Brother Monkey with the words, “His Majesty has sent us to pay our respects and fetch the miraculous medicine.” Monkey told Pig to fetch the box, which he opened and handed to the officials.
“What is this medicine called?” they asked. “We would like to be able to inform His Majesty when we see him.”
“It's called Black Gold Elixir,” Monkey replied, at which Pig and Friar Sand had to hide their grins as they thought, “of course they're black gold-they were made with soot scraped off cooking pots.”
“What should be taken with the pills to guide them on their way?” the officials asked.
“There are two kinds of guide that can be taken with them,” Monkey replied. “One's easily got hold of. That is a decoction of six ingredients to be taken as a hot potion.”
“What six ingredients?” the officials asked.
“A fart from a flying crow,” Monkey replied, “piss from a carp in a fast-flowing stream, some of the face-powder used by the Queen Mother of the West, soot from elixir refined in Lord Lao's furnace, three pieces of a worn-out head cloth of the Jade Emperor's, and five whiskers from a trapped dragon's beard. A decoction of those six ingredients taken with the pills would clear up your king's illness straight away.”
When the officials heard this they replied, “Those are things that are not to be found in this world, so please tell us what the other guide is.”
“The pills should be taken with rootless water,” said Monkey.
“That's very easily got hold of,” smiled the officials.
“How can you be so sure?” Monkey asked.
“We have a saying here,” the officials replied, “that if you need rootless water you take a bowl or a dish to a well or a stream, fill it with water, and hurry back with it. Don't spill a drop, don't look behind you, and give it to the patient to take with the medicine.”
“But well water and stream water both have roots,” Monkey said. “The rootless water I'm talking about has to fall from the sky and be drunk before it touches the ground. Only then can it be called rootless.”
“That's easily got too,” the officials said. “The medicine shouldn't be taken till the next cloudy, wet day.”
The officials then kowtowed to thank Monkey and took the medicine back with them to present to the king, who delightedly ordered his attendants to bring it to him.
“What are these pills?” he asked when he saw them.
“The holy monk says they are Black Gold Elixir and have to be taken with rootless water,” the officials replied. The king then sent some of his palace women to fetch rootless water.
“The holy monk says that rootless water can't be got from wells or streams,” the officials said. “It has to be water that has come down from the sky and not yet touched the ground.” The king then ordered his aides to issue a decree inviting magicians to summon rain. The officials then issued a proclamation as the king had ordered.
Back in the hall of the Hostel of Meeting Brother Monkey said to Pig, “He must be given some rain now so he can take his medicine. This is very urgent. How are we going to get some? I reckon he's a very virtuous and worthy king, so why don't we help him get a little rainwater to take his medicine with?”
“But how are we going to help him get some rootless water?” Pig asked.
“Stand on my left and be my Sustainer Star,” Monkey said to him, then told Friar Sand, “stand on my right as my Straightener Star while I help him to get some rootless water.”
The splendid Great Sage then paced out a magic pattern and said the words of a spell. Soon a dark cloud appeared to their East that came closer till it was over their heads. “Great Sage,” called a voice from it, “Ao Guang, the Dragon King of the Eastern Sea, is here to call on you.”
“I wouldn't have troubled you if it hadn't been important,” Monkey said. “Could I ask you to help by giving the king here some rootless water to take his medicine with?”
“When you summoned me, Great Sage,” the dragon king replied, “you said nothing about water. I have only come by myself. I haven't brought any rain-making equipment, to say nothing of wind, clouds, thunder and lightning. So how can I make it rain?”
“There'll be no call for wind, clouds, thunder or lightning this time,” Monkey said, “and we don't need much rain either. We just need enough water for someone to take his medicine with.”
“In that case I'll do a couple of sneezes and spit out some saliva,” the dragon king said. “That ought to be enough for him to take his medicine.”
“Terrific,” said Monkey, delighted. “Don't waste a moment. Do it as soon as you can.”
The ancient old dragon gradually brought his dark cloud down till it was just over the palace, though he kept himself entirely concealed. He spat out a mouthful of saliva that turned into timely rain, whereupon all the officials at court exclaimed, “Ten million congratulations, Your Majesty. Heaven is sending down timely rain.”
The king then ordered, “Take vessels out to hold the rain. All officials, whether inside or outside the palace and irrespective of their rank, must gather this sacred water to save our life.” Just watch as all the civil and military officials as well as the consorts, concubines, three thousand beauties, and eight hundred charming ladies-in-waiting of the three harems and the six compounds of the inner palace all stood there holding cups, dishes, bowls and plates to catch the timely rain. Up in the sky the ancient dragon so controlled his saliva that all of it fell within the palace. After about two hours the dragon king took his leave of the Great Sage and went back to the sea. When the officials gathered all the cups, dishes, bowls and plates together they found that some had caught one or two drops of water, some three to five, and some none at all. When it was all put together there were a little over three dishes full of it, and this was all presented to the king. Indeed:
The throne hall was filled with exquisite fragrance;
Fine scents were wafting round the Son of Heaven's court.
The king then dismissed the Master of the Law and had the Black Gold Elixir and the timely rain carried into the inner quarters, where he took the first pill with the first dish of timely rain, then the second pill with the second dish. In three efforts he finished all three pills and all three dishfuls. Soon afterwards there was a noise from his stomach like the endless turning of a windlass. He sent for his chamber pot and evacuated four or five times before taking some rice porridge and collapsing on his dragon bed. When two of his consorts inspected the chamber pot they saw it contained huge amounts of feces and mucus, and amid it all a ball of glutinous rice.
“The root of the disorder has come out,” the consorts reported, going over to the royal bed. The king was very pleased to hear this and ate some rice. A little later his chest felt eased and his natural forces and blood were in harmonious balance once more. He was full of vigor and the strength came back to his legs, so he rose from his bed, dressed in his court clothes and went into the throne hall, where he greeted the Tang Priest by prostrating himself. The venerable elder returned this courtesy as quickly as he could.