Выбрать главу

Only then did Pig jump out, turn back into himself, put his tunic back on, pick up his rake and shout, “Who am I then? You thought I was a catfish spirit!”

At the sight of him the demons all trembled with fright and said to Pig, “When you came here first you were a monk, then you turned into a catfish in the water and we couldn't catch you. Now you've dressed like that. Where have you come from? You must tell us your name.”

“Bloody demons, you really don't know who I am,” said Pig. “I'm a disciple of the Venerable Tang Priest, who has been sent from Tang in the East to fetch the scriptures. My title is Marshal Tian Peng and I'm called Zhu Wuneng, or Pig. You've hung my master up in your cave and you're planning to steam him and eat him. Is my master just a meal for you to cook? Stretch your heads out at once. I'm going to smash you all with my rake and wipe the lot of you out.”

At this the demons were scared out of their wits. They fell to their knees in the water, kowtowed to him and said, “Please be kind, reverend sir. We were blind and we captured your master by mistake. Although we did hang him up we haven't tortured him. We beg you in your compassion to spare our lives. We'll gladly give you some money for the journey and send your master on his way to the Western Heaven.”

“Cut that talk out,” said Pig, waving his hands. “It's quite right what they say: 'Once you've been tricked by a confectioner you won't believe sweet-talkers again.' I'm going to hit you with my rake, then we can all go our separate ways.”

The idiot was thoroughly rough and crude and wanted to show off his powers. He was unmoved by their fragrant feminine beauty. Raising his rake he charged them, lashing out wildly without caring what he was doing. The demons acted desperately. Forgetting about their modesty they cared only about saving their lives as covering their private parts with their hands they jumped out of the water and ran into the pavilion. Standing there they used magic to make thick silken ropes come out of their navels, filling the sky with a huge silken canopy under which Pig was caught. When the idiot looked up he could not see the sun in the heavens. He tried to run outside, but he could not lift his feet, which were tangled in silken ropes that covered the ground. When he tried to move his feet he tripped and staggered. He tried going left, but his head crashed to the ground, then tried going right and came a cropper. So he turned round as quickly as he could and kissed the dirt, got himself back on his feet, and collapsed head first once more. Goodness only knows how many times he stumbled and fell till his whole body was numb, his feet sore, his head aching and his eyes blurred. He could no longer even crawl, but lay groaning on the floor. Then the demons tied him up. They neither beat him up nor wounded him, but sprang outside to rush back to their cave, leaving the silken canopy to blot out the daylight.

When they reached the stone bridge they stopped and said the words of a spell. In an instant the silk canopy had been put away, and they all rushed stark naked into the cave, covering their private parts with their hands as they ran giggling past the Tang Priest.

Once inside their bedrooms carved out of the rock they put on old clothes and went straight to the back door of the cave, where they stood and called, “Where are you, children?”

Now each she-devil had a child, not one that she had borne, but an adopted child who had taken her as a mother. They were called Bee, Hornet, Cockroach, Spanish-fly, Grasshopper, Wax-insect and Dragonfly, for such they were. The evil spirits had spread their nets across the sky, caught these seven insects and been on the point of eating them. But as the old saying goes, “Birds have bird language and beasts have beast language.”

The insects had pleaded for their lives and volunteered to take the spirits as their own mothers. Ever since then they had gathered blossoms in the spring and summer flowers for the evil spirits, and as soon as they heard the shouts they appeared and asked, “What orders do you have for us, mothers?”

“Sons,” the demons replied, “this morning we made a mistake and provoked the monk from Tang. His disciples trapped us in the pool and disgraced us. We were almost killed. You must do your utmost. Go outside and drive them away. When you've beaten them come to your uncle's to meet us.” The she-devils then fled for their lives and went to the home of their teacher's senior disciple, where their wicked tongues were to give rise to more disasters, but of that we shall not now speak. Watch while the insects rub their fists in their hands and go out to confront their enemies.

Pig, meanwhile, whose head was spinning after falling over so often, looked up and suddenly saw that the silken canopy and ropes had all disappeared. Groping around he picked himself up, and despite his pain he made his way back the way he had come. As soon as he saw Monkey he grabbed him and said, “Brother, is my head bulging? Is my face all blue?”

“What happened to you?” Monkey asked.

“Those damned creatures caught me under a silken net and tripped me up goodness knows how many times with silk ropes,” Pig replied. “My waist was twisted, my back felt broken and I couldn't move an inch. Then the silk canopy and the ropes all disappeared, so I could escape and come back.”

“Forget about it,” said Friar Sand when he saw him, “forget about it. You asked for trouble. I'm sure the demons have all gone back to the cave to harm the master. We must go and rescue him straight away.”

When Monkey heard this he set out at once as fast as he could and rushed back to the farm while Pig led the horse. Here the seven little devils could be seen standing on the bridge, blocking their way and saying, “Not so fast, not so fast. We're here.”

“What a joke!” said Pig when he saw them. “They're just a bunch of kids. They're only two foot five or six, well under three foot, and they can only weigh eight or nine pounds, not even ten.”

“Who are you?” he shouted.

“We're the sons of the seven immortal ladies,” the little devils replied. “You've insulted our mothers, and now you've got the effrontery to attack us, you ignorant fools. Stay where you are, and watch out.” The splendid monsters then launched a wild onslaught on Pig, who was in a flaming temper after falling over so often. Seeing how tiny the insects were he lifted his rake to strike furious blows at them.

When the little devils saw how ferocious the idiot was they all reverted to their original forms, flew into the air and shouted, “Change!” In an instant each of them became ten, each ten became a hundred, each hundred became a thousand, and each thousand became ten thousand. Every one became a countless number. This is what could be seen:

The sky was full of wax-flies,

Dragonflies danced all over the land.

Bees and hornets went for the head,

Cockroaches jobbed at the eyes.

Spanish-flies bit before and behind,

While grasshoppers stung above and below.

His face was black and crawling with insects:

Even devils or deities would have been scared by their speed.

“Brother,” said Pig in alarm, “you can say what you like about it being easy to fetch the scriptures, but on this road to the West even the insects give you a bad time.”

“Don't be afraid, brother,” said Monkey. “Go for them.”

“But they're flying into my head and my face and all over my body,” replied Pig. “They're at least ten layers deep and all stinging me. How can I go for them?”