“It's agony, agony,” groaned Brother Monkey, still holding his head.
“Is it an attack of your migraine?” Pig asked.
“No, no,” said Monkey, hopping around in pain.
“But I didn't see you get wounded,” said Pig, “so how can your head be hurting?”
“It's unbearable,” groaned Monkey. “Just when she saw that I was beginning to beat her trident she braced herself and jabbed me in the head. I don't know what weapon she used, but it's made my head ache so unbearably that I had to run away, beaten.”
“In quiet places you're always boasting that your head was tempered in the furnace,” said Pig with a laugh, “so why was that too much for you?”
“Yes,” replied Monkey, “after my head was refined I stole the magic peaches and immortal wine and Lord Lao Zi's golden elixir tablets. When I made havoc in Heaven the Jade Emperor ordered the Strongarm Demon King and the Twenty eight Constellations to take me to be beheaded at the Dipper and Bull Palace. The gods used their cutlasses, axes, hammers and swords on me, struck me with thunderbolts and burned me with fire. Then Lao Zi put me in his Eight Trigrams Furnace and refined me for forty-nine days. None of that harmed me at all. Goodness only knows what weapon that woman used to make my head hurt like this.”
“Put your hands down and let me have a look,” said Friar Sand. “Has it been cut open?”
“No, no,” said Monkey.
“I'd better go back to Western Liang to get you some ointment to put on it,” said Pig.
“It's not cut open or swollen; I don't need ointment,” said Monkey.
“Brother,” laughed Pig, “I wasn't at all ill when I was pregnant or after I lost the baby, but you've got a carbuncle on your forehead.”
“Stop teasing him, brother,” said Friar Sand. “It's getting late, our eldest brother's been wounded in the head, and we don't know whether the master is dead or alive. What on earth are we going to do?”
“The master's all right,” groaned Brother Monkey. “I flew in as a bee and saw the woman sitting in a flower pavilion. Before long two servant girls came in with two dishes of steamed rolls, one with fillings of human flesh and one with sweet fillings of beanpaste. She sent two other serving girls to help the master come out to eat something to soothe his nerves. She was talking about being his companion. At first he wouldn't reply or eat any of the rolls, but she was giving him so much sweet talk that he said he'd have a vegetarian one. Goodness knows why. The woman broke one open and gave it to him, and he passed her an unbroken meat one. 'Why won't you open it for me?' She asked, and he said, 'I am a man of religion, so I would not dare to break meat food.' Then she said, 'In that case, why did you eat wedding cake at the Motherhood River, and why are you eating sweet fillings now?' The master did not catch what she was driving at, and replied, 'When the river is high I'm carried away; when bogged down I have to slow down.' Listening to all this from the lattice I got worried that the master was going to forget himself, so I turned back into myself and hit at her with my cudgel. She used magic too, breathed out clouds, told them to shut the master away, and drove me out of the cave with her trident.”
Friar Sand bit his finger and said, “That low bitch must have followed us at some stage, she knows so much.”
“From what you say,” said Pig, “we mustn't rest. From dusk to the middle of the night we've got to keep going back and challenging her to fight. We'll have to yell and make such a din that she can't go to bed or have it off with our master.”
“I can't go back,” said Monkey. “My head's hurting too badly.”
“We can't challenge her to battle,” said Friar Sand. “Our eldest brother's head is aching and our master is a true monk. He won't let the illusion of sex disturb his nature. Let's spend the light sitting somewhere under the mountain that's sheltered from the wind. Then we can build up our energy and think of something else in the morning.” The three brother disciples tethered the white horse and guarded the luggage as they spent the night resting under the slope of the mountain.
The she-devil then put aside thoughts of murder and started to wear a mile again as she said, “Little ones, shut the front and back doors tight.” Then she sent out two scouts to keep an eye on Monkey, and ordered them to report the moment any sound was heard at the door. “Maids,” she commanded, “tidy the bedroom and get it ready. Bring candles, burn incense, and ask the Tang emperor's brother in. I'm going to make love with him.”
The Tang Priest was then helped out from the back, while the she-devil, looking utterly bewitching, took him by the hand and said, “As the saying goes, pleasure's worth more than gold. You and I are going to have some fun as man and wife.”
The venerable elder clenched his teeth and let out not a sound. He would have preferred not to go with her but he was afraid she might kill him, so in fear and trembling he accompanied her into the bridal chamber, he was as if stupefied and dumb. He would not lift his head and look up, let alone catch sight of the bed and the curtains in the room, and even less did he see the intricately carved furniture or her hairstyle and clothing. He was deaf and indifferent when she spoke of her desire. He was indeed a fine monk:
His eyes saw no evil beauty,
His ears heard no voluptuous words.
To him the brocade and the lovely face was dung,
The gold, the jewels and the beauty so much dirt.
The love of his life was contemplation;
He never took a step from Buddha land.
He did not care for female charms,
Knowing only how to nourish his true nature.
The she-devil
Was full of life
And unbounded desire.
The venerable monk
Seemed almost dead,
His mind fixed on meditation.
One was soft jade and warm fragrance;
The other was dead ash and withered wood.
One spread open the bridal sheets,
Full of voluptuousness;
The other fastened his tunic more tightly,
His heart ever true.
One longed to press her breasts against him and entwine their limbs
In rapturous union;
The other wanted only to sit facing the wall
Like the monk Bodhidharma.
The she-devil took off her clothes,
Displaying her smooth skin and fragrant body;
The Tang Priest pulled his robes together,
Covering the roughness of his hide and flesh.
The she-devil said,
“There is room on my pillow and under my sheet:
Why not come to bed?”
The Tang Priest replied,
“My head is shaven and I wear monk's robes:
I may not join you.”
She said, “I would like to be Liu Cuicui in the story.”
He replied, “But I am not like the Monk of the Moonlight.”
The she-devil said, “I am more lovely than Xi Shi herself.”
“Long was the king of Yue buried on her account,” the monk replied.
“Do you remember the lines,” the she-devil asked,
“'I'm willing to die and be buried under flowers;
Even as a ghost shall I live and love?'”
To this the Tang Priest replied,
“My true masculinity is my great treasure;
I could not lightly give it to a bag of bones like you.”
The two of them kept up their battle of words till it was late in the night, and the Tang Priest's resolution was unmoved. The she-devil kept tugging at his clothes, refusing to let go of him, while the master kept up his resistance. The struggle went on till the middle of the night, when the she-devil finally lost her temper and called, “Bring rope, little ones.” Sadly she had her beloved man tied up like a dog and dragged outside to the portico. Then the silver lamps were blown out and everyone went to bed for the night.