“That's enough of your insolence,” they all said. “Find your fellow disciple at once.”
The noisy crowd in the street, which was not to be numbered in mere hundreds, carried him to the hostel gates. “Don't come any further, gentlemen,” Pig said. “My brother won't let you make a fool of him the way I do. He's a ferocious and serious character. When you meet him you'll have to bow deeply to him and call him 'Lord Sun,' then he'll look after you. If you don't he'll turn nasty and this business will fail.”
To this the eunuchs and officers replied, “If your brother really has the power to cure our king he'll be given half the country and we will all bow to him.”
The idlers were still making a commotion outside the hostel gates as Pig led the eunuchs and officers straight inside, where Monkey could be heard laughing with pleasure as he told Friar Sand about how he had taken the proclamation down.
Pig went up to him, grabbed him and yelled, “Why won't you act like a man? You said you'd buy me noodles, buns, and steamed bread to lure me out, but it was only an empty promise. Then you made a whirlwind, took down the royal proclamation, and sneakily put it in my tunic. You made a real idiot of me. What kind of brother are you?”
“Idiot,” laughed Monkey, “you must have got lost and gone the wrong way. I couldn't find you when I rushed back from buying the groceries the other side of the drum tower, so I came back ahead. Where did I tear any royal proclamations down?”
“The officials who were guarding it are here,” said Pig.
Before he had finished speaking the eunuchs and officers came up, bowed low and said, “Lord Sun, His Majesty is very fortunate today as Heaven has sent you down to us. We are sure that you will display your great skill and give him the benefit of your outstanding medical knowledge. If you cure our king you will receive half the country and half the state.” On hearing this Monkey composed his face, took the proclamation from Pig and said, “I suppose you are the officials who were guarding the notice.”
“We slaves are eunuchs in the Bureau of Ritual,” said the eunuchs, kowtowing, “and these gentlemen are officers in the royal guard.”
“I did take the royal proclamation down,” Monkey said, “and I used my younger brother to bring you here. So your lord is ill. As the saying goes, 'Don't sell medicine carelessly, and don't send for any old doctor when you're ill.' Tell your king to come here and ask me himself to help him. I can get rid of his illness at a touch.” This shocked all the eunuchs.
“That is very big talk, so you must be a man of great breadth of spirit,” the officers said. “Half of us will remain here to press the invitation in silence while the other half go back to the palace to report.”
Four of the eunuchs and six of the guards officers went straight into the palace without waiting to be summoned and said at the steps of the throne room, “Congratulations, Your Majesty.”
When the king, who was in the middle of a cultivated conversation with Sanzang after their meal together, heard this he asked, “What on?”
“When we, your slaves, took out Your Majesty's proclamation sending for doctors this morning and posted it at the foot of the drum tower, a holy monk from Great Tang in the East took it down,” they replied. “He is now in the Hostel of Meeting and wants Your Majesty to go in person to ask his help. He can get rid of illness at a touch. That is why we have come to submit this report.”
This news delighted the king. “How many distinguished disciples do you have, Master of the Law?” he asked.
Putting his hands together in front of his chest Sanzang replied, “I have three stupid followers.”
“Which of them is a medical expert?” the king asked.
“To be frank with Your Majesty,” Sanzang replied, “they are all country bumpkins fit only for carrying baggage, leading the horse, finding their way along streams, or leading me over mountains and rivers. In dangerous places they can defeat monsters, capture demons, and subdue tigers and dragons. None of them knows anything about medicines.”
“Aren't you being too hard on them?” the king asked. “It was very fortunate that you came to court when we entered the throne hall this morning: this was surely destined by Heaven. If your disciple knows nothing about medicine why would he have taken down our proclamation and demanded that we go to greet him in person? He must surely be a great physician.”
He then called, “Civilian and military officers, we are much too weak to ride in our carriage. You must all leave the palace and go on our behalf to invite the Venerable Sun to treat our disease. When you meet him you must on no account show him any disrespect. You must address him as 'Holy monk, Venerable Sun' and treat him with the deference due to your own sovereign.”
Having received these orders the officials went straight to the Hostel of Meeting with the eunuchs and guards officers responsible for the proclamation. There they arranged themselves in their companies to kowtow to Monkey. Pig was so frightened that he hid in the wing, while Friar Sand slipped behind the wall. Just look at the Great Sage sitting solemnly and unmoving in the middle of the room.
“That macaque is really asking to have his head cut off,” Pig thought resentfully. “All those officials bowing to him, and he's not bowing back or standing up either.”
Soon afterwards, when the rituals had been performed, the officials addressed Monkey as if he were their monarch: “We report to the holy monk, the Venerable Sun, that we officials of the Kingdom of Purpuria have come at the command of our king to do respectful homage to the holy monk and invite him to the palace to treat our sick king.”
Only then did Brother Monkey stand up and reply, “Why hasn't your king come?”
“His Majesty is too weak to ride in his carriage,” the officials all replied, “which is why he ordered us to pay homage to you, holy monk, as if you were our sovereign, kowtow to you and invite you to come.”
“In that case,” said Monkey, “will you gentlemen please lead the way. I'll follow you.” The officials then formed themselves into a column in accordance with their ranks and set out. Monkey tidied his clothes and got to his feet.
“Brother,” said Pig, “whatever you do, don't drag us in.”
“I won't,” Monkey replied, “provided you two accept the medicine for me.”
“What medicine?” Friar Sand asked.
“You must accept all the medicine people send me,” Monkey replied. “I'll collect it when I come back.” The two of them undertook this commission.
Monkey was soon at the palace with the officials, who went in first to inform the king. He raised high the curtains of pearls, flashed his dragon and phoenix eyes, opened his golden mouth and spoke majestically, “Which gentleman is the holy monk, the Venerable Sun?”
Taking a step forward, Monkey shouted at the top of his voice, “I am.”
The voice was so ugly and the face so hideous that the king fell back on his dragon throne. In their alarm the female officials and the palace eunuchs helped him to the inner quarters.
“He's terrified His Majesty to death,” they said.
“Monk,” all the officials said angrily to Monkey, “how could you be so rough and crude? Why did you dare take the proclamation down?”
When Brother Monkey heard this he replied with a smile, “You shouldn't be angry with me. If you're going to be so rude to me your king won't get better in a thousand years.”
“But how long does human life last?” the officials asked. “How is it that he won't get better even in a thousand years?”
“He's a sick ruler now,” said Monkey. “When he dies he'll be a sick ghost, and whenever he's reincarnated he'll be a sick man again. That's why he won't get better even in a thousand years.”