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This startled all the devils, who hurried to look and saw that the gates were open. Quickly they fetched lamps to find the locks and fasten the gates once more. Several of them were sent running back inside to report, “Your Majesty, there's someone outside the main gates shouting your title and demanding the Golden Queen.”

The slave girls hurried out to say very quietly, “Stop yelling. His Majesty's only just gone to sleep.” Monkey gave another loud shout at the front gates, but the little devils still dared not disturb their master. This happened three or four times over, but they never went in to report. The Great Sage kept up his din till daybreak, by when his patience was exhausted and he swung his iron cudgel to hit the gates. This so alarmed the demons big and small that while some of them barricaded the gates the others went in to report.

As soon as the demon king woke up and heard the cacophonous din he got up, dressed and emerged from his bed-curtains to ask, “What's all the shouting about?”

“Sir,” said the kneeling slave girls, “someone's been shouting and cursing outside the cave half the night. We don't know who it is. Now he's attacking the gates.”

As the demon king went out through the gates of the palace several panic-stricken little devils appeared to kowtow to him and say, “There's someone shouting and cursing outside. He's demanding the Golden Queen, and if we say so much as half a 'no' he goes on and on at us, swearing in a thoroughly horrible way. When Your Majesty still hadn't come out at daybreak he got so desperate he started attacking the gates.”

“Don't open them,” the demon king said. “Go and ask him where he's from and what he's called. Report back as quickly as you can.”

The little devils hurried off to ask through the gates, “Who are you, knocking at our gates?”

“I'm your grandpa sent by Purpuria to take the Golden Queen back to her own country,” Monkey replied. When the little devils heard this they reported it to the demon king, who went back to the living quarters at the back to question the queen about why the attacker had come.

The queen had only just arisen and had not yet done her hair or washed when slave girls came in to report, “His Majesty's here.” The queen hastily tidied up her clothes and let her black tresses hang loose as she went outside to greet him.

He had just sat down and had not yet asked her any questions when little demons were heard again asking, “The Grand Par from over there has smashed the gates down.”

“How many officers are there in your country, ma'am?” The demon king asked with a smile.

“Inside the palace there are forty-eight brigades of horse and foot, and a thousand good officers; and there are ever so many marshals and commanders on the frontiers,” the queen replied.

“Are any called Grand Par?” the demon king asked. “When I was in the palace all I knew about was helping His Majesty in the inner quarters and instructing the consorts and concubines every morning and evening,” the queen said. “There were no end of things happening outside. How could I possibly remember the names?”

“This one calls himself Grand Par,” the demon king replied. “There's no such name I can think of in the book The Hundred Surnames. You're a very intelligent and well-born lady, ma'am, and you've lived in a royal palace. You must have read a lot of books. Can you remember coming across that name in any of them?”

“There's a passage in the Thousand Word Classic that goes, 'received grand instruction,'“ the queen replied. “I think that must refer to him.”

“I'm sure you're right,” the demon king said with pleasure, “I'm sure you're right.” He then got up, took his leave of the queen, went to the Flaying Pavilion, fastened his armor on neatly, mustered his devil soldiers, had the gates opened, and went straight outside with his flower-scattering battle-axe in his hand.

“Who's the Grand Par from Purpuria?” he yelled stridently at the top of his voice.

Grasping his gold-banded cudgel in his right hand and pointing with his left Monkey replied, “What are you shouting at me for, nephew?” The sight of him drove the demon king into a fury.

“Damn you,” he shouted:

“You've a face just like a monkey's;

You resemble a macaque.

A ghost is what you look like;

Don't try to knock me back.”

“Impudent devil,” laughed Monkey, “trying to bully your superiors and push your master around. You're blind. I remember how when I made havoc in Heaven five hundred years ago all the nine heavenly generals only dared speak to me with the greatest respect. If I make you call me Grandpa I'm letting you off lightly.”

“Tell me your name immediately,” the demon king shouted. “What fighting skills have you got that give you the nerve to come rampaging here?”

“You'd have done better not to ask me what I'm called,” Monkey replied. “But as you insist on me telling you I'm afraid you'll be in a hopeless mess. Come here and stand still while I tell you:

Heaven and earth were the parents that bore me;

My foetus was formed from the sun and moon's essence.

The magic rock was pregnant for years beyond number;

Strange indeed was the miraculous root's gestation.

When I was born the Three Positives were at their height;

Now I have been converted all is in harmony.

Once I was declared the chief of all the demons,

Who bowed to me by the red cliff as subduer of monsters.

The Jade Emperor issued a decree of summons,

And the Great White Planet came with the edict,

Inviting me to Heaven to take up my office,

But as Protector of the Horses I had no joy.

When I first planned rebellion in my mountain cave

Boldly I led my armies against the Jade Emperor,

The Pagoda-carrying Heavenly King and Prince Nezha

Were utterly helpless when they fought against me.

Then the White Planes made a new suggestion,

And brought another edict urging me to make peace

I was made Great Sage Equaling Heaven,

And proclaimed as one of the pillars of the state.

Because I disrupted the banquet of peaches

And stole elixir when drunk I met with disaster.

Lord Lao Zi submitted a memorial in person,

And the Queen Mother of the West did homage to the throne.

Knowing that I was running riot with the law,

They mustered heavenly forces and issued movement orders.

A hundred thousand vicious stars and evil planets

Were packed in close array with their swords and their halberds.

Heaven-and-earth nets were spread across the mountain

As all of the soldiers raised their weapons together.

A bout of bitter fighting left neither side the victor,

So Guanyin recommended the warrior Erlang.

The two of us fought together for mastery;

He was helped by the Seven Brothers who come from Plum Hill.

Each of us played the hero and did our transformations:

The three sages at the gates of Heaven opened the clouds.

Then Lord Lao Zi dropped his diamond noose,

And the gods led me as a prisoner to the steps of the throne-hall.

They did not bother with a detailed indictment:

The sentence was death by a thousand cuts.

Axe and hammer could not till me,

And I was unharmed by sword or saber.

Fire and thunderbolts were neither here nor there;

They had no way to destroy my immortal body.

I was taken under escort to the Tushita Heaven,

And all was arranged to refine me in the furnace.

Only when full time was up did they open up the vessel,

And I came bounding out from the middle of the crucible.

In my hands I was wielding this As-You-Will cudgel

As I somersaulted up to the Jade Emperor's throne.

All the stars and constellations went into hiding,