Then I spotted a note on the bed, on my pillow. It was written on her medical stationery.
My heart sank as I read the first line.
My big, strong Nick. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to write…
Chapter 28
I SAT DOWN on the edge of the bed, the pillows arranged the way she always liked them, her scent still hanging in the air.
I know this will hurt you. But I just need to be on my own for a while. We both know what was great about each other just isn't there much right now.
Hopefully, this will make you smile: I promise, there isn't anyone else, just this aching feeling that we're not giving each other what we want or need. And right now, I think I need to look into myself awhile and find out what it is I want someone to give me. You are the best, Nick. You are smart and reliable, and sensitive and strong. You're such a good man. And you know what else you're the best at-I don't have to elaborate!!!
You will make some girl a loving partner in life. I'm just not sure it's me. I need this space, Nick. We both need it! If we're honest, as we've always been with each other.
So please don't call me for a day or two. Don't ask me to come back (if you even want me to). Don't look for me. Don't be the cop, Nicky. I need the strength to do this. I'm at a friend's. Popeye is with me. He's already told me I'm a stupid jerk. (You're always the stud, Nick, even with the guys!)
I do truly love you, Nick. Who wouldn't?
I put down the note. There was a PS. Okay, I lied just a little. Taking the medical boards was harder.
I picked up a photo of us on my night table taken up in Vermont, skiing.Goddamnit, Ellen, we could have worked it out. We could have talked at least.
I made a move for the phone. I went to dial her cell; then I caught myself and stopped midnumber.
She was right. Lay off, Nick. Give her what she asked for. We both knew it.What was great about each other just isn't there much right now…
I took off my tie and tossed my jacket on the bed. Then I just leaned back on the pillow and closed my eyes.
I wanted to feel crushed, empty. I wanted to go pour myself a scotch or kick a chair like I was supposed to do when things like this happened.
But I couldn't. I couldn't!
Ellen was right. What was great about each other just isn't much there right now.
Ellen was right about a lot of things.
Chapter 29
A BIG BLUE BUS was waiting for the jury in front of the Garden State Inn at 8:00 a.m.
Three court marshals, with their handguns showing, loaded them on. Another heavily armed marshal was waiting inside. Then three police cars pulled up, lights whirring. Their escort. An FBI man was checking names off a roster.
And this was supposed to fill us with a sense of ease, Andie thought as she climbed onboard.I don't think so.
Her sister, Rita, had been driven down earlier in a court-assigned car to pick up Jarrod and take him to school. He'd stay with her and his uncle Ray until this mess was over with. Andie was amazed at how well he had handled himself last night. He never let on that he was afraid or even put out. But this morning, he didn't want to leave her, and finally he cried like a little boy.Her little boy, her Jarrod.
"You have to do your job, and I have to do mine," she said as she hugged him close and put him into Rita's car, holding back a flood of emotions."And remember… Florida 's a promontory, right?"
" Peninsula," he corrected her. She waved as they drove away. One thing for sure-he'd have a helluva story to share in school that day.
Rosella plopped herself next to Andie on the bus. All of their nervous, harried faces said this was a whole lot more than anyone had ever bargained for.
"My huzban, he's very upset at what's goin' on. He tells me, the hell with the forty dollars, Rosie, get jourself off that trial. What about jou? Jou must be goin' crazy with jour son?"
"Jarrod's a trouper," Andie said, half believing it."He'll get by." She turned around to O'Flynn and Hector."It's the rest of you guys I'm worried about."
There was a lot of bickering, even before the bus left the motel. Understandable. Hector was insisting this was against the law. That they had to give you a chance to get off now. That they couldn't just hold you against your will. A few people argued with him that that wasn't true.
"It's like the Patriot Act." Marc rolled his eyes."It's for our own protection."
The bus doors finally closed. The police cars in front began to pull out, lights flashing. The driver started the engine, and the big bus rolled forward slowly.
Andie pressed her cheek to the glass, the sight of the dreary motel, her new home for the next several weeks, drifting away.
She missed justknowing she would see Jarrod that night."I don't think Sam Greenblatt exactly signed up for it either," she finally said to herself.
Chapter 30
I WAS BEAT, bleary-eyed. I'd barely gotten three hours' sleep the night before. I tried to push the situation with Ellen out of my mind as I sat in court that morning. Cavello was flanked closely by two security people now. One more scene in there, and he was gone.
Joel Goldenberger stepped up to the witness stand."Good morning, Mr. Denunziatta. I'd like to pick up where we left off the other day." He had papers in his hand.
"You testified that you'd been present in the general area at the time Sam Greenblatt was killed," the prosecutor started in,"and that you spotted Thomas Mussina driving around. With someone else in the car. Would you remind the jury who that other person was, Mr. Denunziatta?"
"It was Dominic Cavello," Denunziatta stated.
"Good." Goldenberger nodded and turned a page."Now, what I want to move on to are the events that took place subsequent to that. Would you say that you and your colleagues were satisfied with how the job was done?"
"I guess at first we were satisfied." Ralphie shrugged."I mean, we did the job, everyone got away, no one got hurt."
"Other than Mr. Greenblatt, of course."
"Other than Mr. Greenblatt, naturally." The witness nodded with a contrite smile."It was maybe the day after that, as I recall, that things started to fall apart."
"What kinds of things are you speaking of, Mr. Denunziatta?"
"This guy that was involved in the hit, Stevie…"
"Steven Mannarino," Joel Goldenberger explained.
"Yeah. The kid screwed up. It seemed he didn't find clean plates for the getaway car like he was instructed. So he had to scramble." He cleared his throat."Apparently he located a set in Louis Machia's yard."
"In the yard of his friend, who had just participated in the killing, right?"
"Yes." Denunziatta rolled his eyes.
"So how would you describe Stevie?" the prosecutor asked."Was he an experienced guy in this sort of stuff?"
The witness shrugged."He was a good kid from the neighborhood. I think he had asthma or something. He just wanted to be around."
"Be around?"
"He just wanted to be in the club. He wasn't the smartest kid, but Louie liked him. So we let him run errands. The kid would've done anything to get on the inside."
"And this was his chance, wasn't it? His big audition?"
"If it had gone well, who knows?"
"So what happened to Stevie, Mr. Denunziatta? After it came out how he had messed up?"