I focused on the guy with the beard. Zoomed in on his face. I tried to memorize every line, every feature. I kept running through the Homeland Security photo books I'd been given. I didn't know what I was looking for. But something. There had to be something.
Cavello was gone. Probably already out of the country by now. You could get aboard a freighter out of Newark or Baltimore; you could hop a private jet to some landing strip in Mexico, without filing a flight plan. Passports could be doctored.
I kept reminding myself I'd been an FBI officer for thirteen years. It had been my world, my life. The vows I took, to uphold the law-these were sacred vows.
But something Andie said had got me thinking.
You can't make the world come out right just because you want it that way, she had whispered to me through the door.
Outside, darkness had fallen again. I took another swig of beer. I rewound the tape.
I remembered what I'd said back to her, through the door.
I can try.
Chapter 82
THE BUZZER RANG, startling me. I thought about just letting it go.Don't even move. Whoever it is, they'll go away.They always do. I took another sip of beer and let it go down slow.
The ringing continued. Insistent. Irritating. Then maddening.
"Nick. Come to the door. Don't be a poop." It was Andie.
Maybe I was ashamed to see her because I'd made promises that now seemed empty. Maybe I was afraid to cause her more pain, or drag her in, now that I'd made up my mind what I wanted to do.
The buzzing continued."Nick, please. You're being a jerk."
Maybe because I knew if I opened that door, I wouldn't be able to close her out again. And maybe that scared me a little. Maybe it scared me a lot.
But she wassitting on that damn buzzer.
I paused the tape. Then I walked into the hallway. I stood for a moment in front of the door, still not sure what I was going to do. She buzzed again.
"Hey!" I called out, finally opening the latch."I'm coming."
She was dressed in a green cowl-necked sweater over jeans."You look awful," she said, staring at me.
"Thanks." I let her in."How…" I started, but she cut me off.
"You look like you've been wearing the same clothes for a week, and a shave sure wouldn't hurt."
"How did you find me?"
She stepped into the apartment, her eyes surveying the place."You think there's another Nicholas Pellisante who was shot and taken to Bellevue Hospital? You didn't return my calls."
"You'd make a good cop," I said, shuffling into the living room.
"You make a lousy friend."
"You're right. I'm sorry."
"Apology not accepted. Thiscould be a nice apartment."
Andie took off her coat and scarf and draped them over a chair. I sat down against the padded arm of the couch.
"I went to the Bureau after I left the other day. I tried to put myself back on the case."
"Okay…"
"They told me I was out. Off the case. No way in hell I'd ever get back on."
Andie looked shocked."Why?"
"Too emotional, they said. Too close. They'll hook me up with any case I want. Just not this one."
"That seems totally unfair. What are you going to do now?"
I looked up at her. Her molten eyes. The sweater, contracting and expanding with her breaths."I don't really know, Andie."
"You know what?" She came over and stood in front of me. She cupped my face in her hands."Youare too emotional, Pellisante. Youare too close."
She brushed a kiss against my cheek. Then my eyes, my lips. I pulled her in to me. Her mouth was soft and warm, and tasted delicious. This time she kissed me hard. My hand traveled under her sweater. Over her bra. Every nerve in my body was excited, on edge. The hairs on my neck were standing. Andie had very soft skin, very nice breasts.
She kissed me again, unbuttoning my shirt, popping a button. She ran her tongue across my shoulders and chest, licking along the edge of my wound. Then she yanked her sweater over her head. Was this a good idea? Did it matter? Not anymore it didn't.
I pulled her to the couch, undoing her pants. She grappled with my trousers, kissing me again, her thick hair falling all over my face.
"I think we need each other, Nick," she whispered, touching her lips to my cheek."Whatever the reasons, it's just the way it is."
I slid out of my pants and back onto the couch, and I pulled her soft body onto mine. I was finally inside her, and it felt right. We started to move against each other, into each other, whatever.
"I'm not arguing. I'm glad you came."
"Not yet… but very soon."
Chapter 83
THE FIRST TIME, we made love like two starved people who couldn't get enough of each other, who hadn't been with anyone for a long time. Which happened to be the truth. It was sweaty and frantic, and at that slapping, breakneck pace, we couldn't hold back, and didn't. I think we both came at about the same time, locking hands, locking on each other's eyes, maybe already falling in love.
"Oh, Jeez." Andie collapsed into me, her hair damp with perspiration, her body drenched and spent."That was long overdue, wasn't it?"
"Yeah," I said exhaling, agreeing, rolling onto my back."Overdue."
The second time it was a lot more tender. We moved into the bedroom, with a bottle of Italian Prosecco on the night table, Tori Amos on the CD player. This time it was slow and much more romantic, at least my idea of romance. It was like slow dancing. We found this nearly perfect rhythm. Both of our bodies were slick with sweat. I loved it.
The third time, we went back at it like numero uno. Couldn't control ourselves. The hottest yet. Probably the best. I guess it was something we were dying to do for a long time.
The fourth…
All right, there was no fourth. We were too empty, too spent. We just lay there, coiled together in each other's arms. Andie's heart was racing against my chest. I loved that too.
"Don't get the wrong impression," she whispered."I'm not that easy. I usually don't give it up until the second trial."
"Me either," I said, breathing heavily."Unless we're unable to reach a conviction."
We stayed like that for a while, entwined and exhausted. It took all my remaining strength just to caress the curls of her hair with one finger.
"I meant what I said before, Nick," she whispered."I know how much you want Cavello. And I know how much it hurts after what happened the other day. I know what it feels like having the thing you want most in the world taken from you."
"I know you do," I said, squeezing her tight.
"What I'm trying to say is, I want whatever happens between us to be in spite of that, Nick. Okay?"
"Andie, I'm not going back to some bullshit job at the Bureau policing corporate tax returns. I can't. I'm gonna get Cavello. With their help or without. For you, for me… it doesn't matter. I can't be right until it's done, until it's over."
"And me?" She shrugged."Am I wrapped up in that, too?"
"You?" I leaned on my elbow and smiled."I think we're sort of wrapped up in each other right now."
"I'm serious," she said."What happens now?"
"Now?" I didn't have an answer. I was a little scared by this incredible magnetism between us. In fact, I felt myself come alive again. All of a sudden we were at it again-my hands massaging her, Andie making ever-descending circles with her nails just above my crotch.
"Now"-I rolled on top of her again-“I guess we go for four."