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can't help being ugly, little man."

I love it that my father laughs louder at his own jokes than anyone

else.  I wonder if he knows the people doubling up around him when he

talks are enjoying Martin Kincaid's contagious delight with life and

not the substance of what he's saying.

"Anyway, baby, I hope you're doing OK.  You got a hot date or

something?  I was going to come by today and mow your lawn if it was

dry again, but old Mother Nature, she had other plans.  I went and saw

a movie instead.  I tell you, that Kevin Spacey is something else.  You

have to see this picture.  OK, I don't want to take up your whole

machine.  You've probably got all kinds of men trying to call you. Some

real winners from down at the courthouse.  I'm just giving you a hard

time, Sammie.  You know I'm proud of you.  You're a top-notch human

being.  Give me a call tomorrow if you've got some time. "Bye."

I'd finished my banana by the time he hung up.  The length of my

father's phone messages correlates directly with how lonely he is in

his empty house.  My mother died almost two years ago, just seven

months after doctors found a lump in her right breast.  As much as I

wish I had never married my ex-husband, the marriage had at least

brought me back to Portland, so I was here for my mother's last few

months.

In retrospect, it was quick as far as those things go, but at the time

it seemed like an eternity.  Mom was as tough a fighter as they make,

but in the end the cancer was too much even for her.  People like to

say that my father and I are lucky that she passed quickly, once it was

clear that treatment was futile.  Maybe I'm selfish, but I don't

agree.

Since Mom died, I'd spent more time with my father as he adjusted to

life as a widower.  He was doing as well as could be expected under the

circumstances.  He retired from federal employment as a forest ranger

last year, so he has a good pension and reliable benefits.  Without a

job to go to, he now finds comfort in his routine.  He goes to the gym,

takes care of the yard, watches his shows, goes target shooting, and

plays checkers with his ninety-year-old next-door neighbor.

I see my dad at least every weekend.  We usually catch a movie and then

wind up talking for a few hours afterward.  Grace comes with us

sometimes.  So does Chuck, when we're getting along.  I think it makes

Dad happy to see me with friends he's known and liked since I was a

kid.  He never did like Shoe Boy and thinks most of my lawyer friends

are snobs.  Too bad I didn't inherit his good judgment.

It was much too late to call him back, so I got ready for bed, snuggled

into the blankets, and picked up a mystery I'd started the week before.

Vinnie followed me into bed, lying by my feet on his stomach with all

four legs splayed out around him like a bear rug.  I only made it

through a few pages before I nodded off and dropped the book on my

face.  There's a reason I only read paperbacks.

The sun shining through my bedroom window woke me the next morning

before the alarm.  It was a nice change from a typical Portland

February, when the excitement of the holidays is over and the endless

monotony of dark, wet, gray days makes it hard to get out of bed.  It

was just after six o'clock, leaving me enough time for a quick run

before work.  I hopped out of bed, pulled on my sweats and running

shoes, and brushed my teeth before setting out on a four-mile course

through my neighborhood.

For the first time since October, I was able to look around clearly at

my neighborhood rather than squint through a steady fall of drizzle. As

I ran past the coffee shops, bookstores, and restaurants along the

tree-lined streets of my historic neighborhood in northeast Portland

called Alameda the brisk dry air stung my cheeks and filled my lungs.

Running clears my head and helps me see the world in a better light.

I finished up my fourth mile about a half hour later, and hung on to my

good mood while I listened to a block of "Monday Morning Nonstop Retro

Boogie" in the shower.  One of the benefits of living alone is that you

can belt out the entire Saturday Night Fever sound track in the shower

if you feel like it, and no one complains, even if you sing like me.

Grace had recently convinced me to trade in my usual shoulder-length

bob for a wispy little do.  When she dried it at the salon, my hair

looked like it belonged on one of the more glamorous CNN anchors.  When

I tried it at home, I ended up looking like a brunette baby bird.  It

wasn't too bad today, so I spruced it up with gel and slapped on some

blush and eyebrow pencil.  I caught a quick look in the mirror.  At

five-eight and through with my twenties, I still have good skin and a

single-digit dress size.  Not bad.  By the time I was done, I had time

to catch my regular bus in to work.

Southwest Fifth and Sixth Avenues constitute Portland's bus mall,

carrying thousands of commuters from various communities within the

metropolitan area through downtown Portland.  I hopped out at Sixth and

Main and walked the two blocks to the Multnomah County Courthouse on

Fourth, stopping on the way to fill my commuter's mug at Starbucks with

my daily double-tall nonfat latte.

I was running a few minutes shy of the time the District Attorney liked

us to be here.  But I was well ahead of the county's newest jurors all

summoned to appear for orientation at 8:30 a.m. and the county's

various out-of-custody criminal defendants scheduled for morning court

appearances.

I'm not sure which way it cuts, but I have always found it odd that the

criminal justice system throws jurors and defendants side by side to

pass through the courthouse's metal detectors and to ride the

antiquated, stuffy elevators.  In either event, I beat the crowd and

didn't have to push through the rotating throng that would be huddled

outside the doors of the courthouse for the remainder of the day trying

to suck down a final precious gasp of nicotine before returning to the

halls of justice.

I made my way through the staff entrance, took the elevator up to the

eighth floor, tapped the security code into the electronic keypad next

to the back entrance, and snuck into my office without the receptionist

noticing I was a little late.

My morning and what was supposed to be my lunch hour were consumed by

drug unit custodies the police reports detailing the cases against

people arrested the previous night.  The Constitution affords arrestees

the right to a prompt determination of probable cause.  The Supreme

Court seems to think forty-eight hours is prompt enough, meaning an

innocent person might have to sit in jail for a couple of days until a

judge gets around to checking whether there's any evidence against him.

In Oregon, we only get a day, so we have to review the custodies and

prepare probable cause showings before the 2 p.m. JC-2 docket.  If we

don't get them arraigned by the afternoon docket, they get cut loose.