We always have a choice in how we handle things. That was something I had learned during my summer on the farm. I could wallow in my self-doubt, and howl at the moon about what Alan and Tami had done, or choose to put it behind me. While they had been my best friends since, well, since essentially forever, they had shown by their actions that our relationship had changed. They’d both known how I would react. The capper was to do it in my bed, so to speak. I understood the heat of the moment and alcohol being involved, but it was still no excuse. Every fiber of my being told me to stop this line of thinking or I would beat the cowboy shit out of Alan the next time I saw him. I would have to warn Tami because I didn’t need him going on and on about it the next time he saw me.
“Your parents are coming home today,” Uncle John said to pull me back from my dark thoughts.
My phone ringing interrupted our conversation. It was Brandon, another person I wasn’t too pleased with.
“Northwestern called and wondered if you’d come back and work out today. I told them I’d ask. They’re very serious about you going there.”
Even though I really didn’t want to, I had made a commitment to them to visit. Something that sucked about being a man of your word was you sometimes had to do things you didn’t want to.
“Set it up. It’ll take me a couple of hours to get there.”
“I’ll meet you there. I think we need to clear the air as well,” Brandon said.
“I agree. Talk to you later.”
I took a moment to clear my mind and then drove back to the house. Aunt Bonnie had a big steak and scrambled eggs waiting for me. Angus beef is, in my opinion, the best around. I was halfway through with my breakfast when Tami reappeared. She looked better, but she had a hard time looking me in the eye. We ate in silence while Aunt Bonnie made herself scarce. Finally, Tami had to say something; she knew I wasn’t about to start the conversation.
“I’m at a loss as to how to fix this. I don’t know why it happened, and I don’t think you really care if we had sex or not.”
“No, it really doesn’t matter. I get that you didn’t do it to hurt me, but it happened.”
“Did you take my promise ring?” she asked.
I just nodded.
“Since you said you’re no longer in love with me, can I have the ring back?” she asked.
I pulled it out of my pocket and let it clatter on the table.
“Tami, the ring no longer means anything to me. Do with it what you want.”
The look on her face told me that that comment hurt her. It wasn’t my intention to make her feel bad, but I wasn’t going to just roll over and let her decide what we meant to each other ever again. I think Tami finally realized that and got up and left the table.
I went upstairs and got my stuff. I thanked Aunt Bonnie for her hospitality and drove back to Evanston.
◊◊◊
Brandon and Gus were waiting for me when I pulled in. Gus took me to the locker room where I got into my shorts and t-shirt to show them what I could do. I did everything they asked of me during the workout.
This part of my life always seemed to work. Between the sidelines, I was in control of almost everything. If only my personal life were this easy. What I found amusing was people always thought I would falter when it came to athletics. They didn’t see the amount of preparation I put in and the caliber of coaching I received. The only two things that could cause me to fail were myself or an injury. I knew I wouldn’t allow myself to cause my failure, so unless I got hurt, I would always perform at a high level. What I needed, more than anything else, was more live game experience. I could practice and get to the point where it was second nature. What I needed was to actually do it during a game. They say that no plan survives the first encounter in a battle. It was the same in football. I now had nearly two years of experience as a starter under my belt. I felt like I was going to have a breakout year. I think the Northwestern coaches felt the same way.
Brandon and I met with Coach Patrick after I had showered.
“First of all, thank you for coming for another unofficial visit. I wanted to let you know that we made scholarship offers to Jim, Tim, Wolf, and Ty. The offers were based on what they’d done on the field last year, their workout yesterday, and the potential we see in them. It had nothing to do with you possibly coming to Northwestern.”
I wasn’t sure I believed him but was happy to hear they were all offered.
“What about Flee Johnson and Ben Luck?” I asked.
Bo Harrington had told me to check out my competition before I made my final decision. If I decided to go somewhere like Alabama, I might end up never seeing the field, simply because of the caliber of quarterbacks they recruited. While I felt I could stand up to any competition, it was good to know what their plans were, and Coach Patrick knew it.
“We offered Ben and decided to wait on Flee.”
“In my opinion, that’s a mistake.”
“Really?” Coach Patrick said with some amusement in his voice.
“I’ve spent the summer going to camps, and I saw Flee at Ohio State, Alabama, the Elite 11 selection camp, and then at Elite 11, and then the Elite Camp in Houston. Ben was with us in Houston and was at the regional selection camp for Elite 11. While Ben’s a solid quarterback and would make a good addition to your team, Flee has the higher ceiling. If things break right, he could be playing on Sunday. If you don’t believe me, call Bo Harrington, who was my coach over the summer and is now the quarterback coach for Alabama, and ask him his opinion of Flee. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that he’s too small to play at this level. If he ends up in the Big 10 somewhere else, you’ll regret not having him on your team,” I said.
“Any other players we should have on our radar?” Coach Patrick asked.
“There is a kid at Wesleyan, Damion Roth, who’s a freak of nature. I caution you, he might be a disruptive presence in the locker room. On the field, though, he might rewrite your record books. Two other uncommitted receivers you want to check out are Terry Halsted from Syracuse, New York and Jim Butler from Dallas, Texas.”
“Let’s put our cards on the table. I want you to come to Northwestern. I think we’re a good fit for you, both on the field and in the classroom. While I’ve never promised anyone playing time, from what I’ve seen both on tape and today I’d be hard-pressed to leave you on the bench. You might want to consider taking a redshirt year to get settled in. What do you think our chances are?”
“Coach, something you’ll find out about me is I’m a straight shooter,” I said and saw the disappointment in his eyes. “Northwestern has a chance, but it’s too early for me to say. You have a couple of strikes against you. If I decide that I want to play at the highest level, I don’t think you’re it. Your stadium only holds a little over forty-five thousand, and you couldn’t sell it out even with a team like Stanford as your opponent. The Chicago area just has too many other options for you to be a priority. Whereas Ohio State, Notre Dame, and Alabama all have enormous stadiums, rabid fans, and college football is king.
“The other issue I have is the last time you had a quarterback taken in the first round of the NFL draft was Otto Graham in 1944. You have only three or four players currently on an NFL roster. That tells me that you’re either not recruiting the kinds of players it takes to win a National Championship, or worse, they’re not being coached to get to that level,” I said.
Brandon had given me the stats. He felt the real prize this weekend was the opportunity to meet with Stanford. While Northwestern was close enough my family could make all my home games, I really didn’t think they would be my final destination. While I didn’t want to burn any bridges, I wanted to let Coach Patrick know that he shouldn’t hold a scholarship for me if he found his quarterback.