He was one of two people who if I ever saw them, I would probably beat them within an inch of their lives. The other was Bill Rogers. The last time we’d been around each other, he’d tried to kill Tracy. At least I’d gotten a chance to fight him, but I feared what he would do to Tracy when he finally got out of jail.
I realized I’d decided that it was time for me to settle down and date just one person. Senior year would be filled with enough drama that I didn’t need it in my love life. I hoped it would help settle me and allow me to focus on all I wanted to accomplish. Senior year would be when I put the finishing touches on my preparations for college, both academically and athletically.
Honestly, it was a harder decision than I’d imagined it would be. The other side of the argument was, why bother? I realize that makes me sound callous and awfully like a conceited jerk, but let’s be real. While I really liked, might even love, all the women in my life, why would I possibly force a decision when I didn’t have to?
It wasn’t just about them; it was about all the other girls who I could potentially be with. Let me give you an example. I’d read an excerpt from Heath Ledger’s diary. He talked about how one night he dressed in jeans, hoody, and a ski mask. Then, attired like that, proceeded to go out to a bar and pick up a woman.
I realize it sounds like total bullshit, but I’d seen it in LA. I had no doubt Heath pulled it off in New York. Shit, if I were willing to walk into a bar, I bet I could pull it off. So, from a totally selfish guy’s point of view, why would I not do it? Why would I pass it up?
Was I crazy?
Then I thought about how I’d been brought up. First of all, my mom would nail my hide to the side of the garage. I know I’m too much of a mama’s boy, and at some point, I’ll have to cut the apron strings. But let’s be honest: I care what she thinks of me.
Besides, I’m also a small-town boy from the Midwest where family means something. I also realize I should set an example. Not that I think I should be put up on a pedestal; I’m far from perfect. But I’m totally on board with following in Tom Brady’s footsteps: find and marry a supermodel and have kids.
That was the dream, right? Right?
If I thought about it too long, I’d end up talking myself out of doing it.
Thankfully, at that moment, my waitress brought me breakfast. They served it in an iron skillet, and it had three over-easy eggs sitting on top. I could smell the chorizo, and I smiled.
“Your grandmother made this for you?” I asked.
“Sí. I wish my mother would have listened to her and learned to cook. My grandmother is the best.”
Despite having the chorizo, this hash wasn’t spicy—not until I bit into the toppings. They took the dish from good to great, so much so that I would have to have to talk to Mary Dole about adding this to our menu. The cook had topped it with fresh sliced jalapeños, some pico de gallo, minced cilantro, and avocado crema. I cut into an egg, and the rich yellow yolk drizzled down into the hash for perfection. I think breaking the yolk is the most satisfying part of the entire meal. It’s the delicious glue that bound all the flavors together.
Back to my dilemma: if I was going to do this—date just one girl—who would it be?
As I ate my new favorite breakfast, I ran through the candidates in my head.
Beth Anderson. The conversation had to start with her. With Beth, we had the whole matter of family expectations. I already knew I loved Mrs. A. How many guys can say that about their future mother-in-law? Our mothers were best friends. In some ways, that was also a negative. It would be hard to talk to Mom about an issue I might have with Beth and not have it get back to her through her mom. I had no illusions that they wouldn’t talk.
On the plus side, I’d known her all my life, so there was an easy comfort there. I trusted Beth. I could talk to her about anything and absolutely know that she had my best interest at heart. That was why when she said she loved me at the beginning of the summer, it freaked me out. That was something I never wanted to mess up. I even liked the fact that Beth was three years older than me. After my freshman year, I’d come to appreciate the benefits of a woman who had more life experience than I had. Granted, I’d picked up a lot in the last three years.
The only downside was we would be in a long-distance relationship. Much like Halle, I would be willing to work through it.
Tracy Dole. I would keep my word and consider her. In many ways, Tracy and Beth were alike. I’d built a friendship with Tracy despite how spectacularly we had failed in our relationship freshman year. There was a lot to be said for being friends first. Looking back, I should have listened to my mom. She’d advised that we wait and not dive into a relationship. I believe if we had, asking Tracy to be my girlfriend now would be a no-brainer.
But I couldn’t forget what had happened, and that stopped me. This is going to sound terrible, but her mental stability was an issue. Depression wasn’t something where you could just decide one day that you were cured. Tracy very well might have it for the rest of her life. It would kill me if she ever hurt herself. I know myself; I would think of everything I might have done to prevent it, or how it was all my fault.
The obvious conclusion was that Tracy needed to be in the ‘friends zone.’
Pam Bell. Let me just put this out there so I don’t ignore it: she’s the mother of our son. That right there trumps all other people on my list. If Pam asked, I would marry her tomorrow.
With that aside, Pam was my sweet, innocent, and naïve California surfer girl. I just loved how she looked at the world with wide-eyed wonder. I just wanted to wrap her up in my arms and hold her close. She made me feel like her big protector, and that’s something my personality seemed to need. I was the fixer who rode in on my white horse to save the day.
I had no doubt that Pam would be in my life until I died. The only problem was she wasn’t ready for a committed relationship, and I loved that she was able to tell me that. Maybe she was my ‘someday’ girl.
If I was totally honest with myself, I would have to say it would come down to one of Brook Davis, Halle James, or Zoe Pearson.
Brook Davis. She was my go-to girl for adventure. She pushed me to do things I would love, but needed a little nudge to do. I was looking forward to learning to fly with her this fall. Her passion for politics set Brook apart from all the other girls. While it wasn’t in my immediate plans, my grandmother was grooming me to follow in my grandfather’s footsteps.
Two other factors made Brook appealing: she had money and she could stand up to the limelight. Those were two things that people don’t really get unless they live it. I still thought Teddy Wesleyan was a jerk in the way he protected himself, but I understood him better.
Clearly, as I stepped further out on the national stage, the press would be a bigger issue. I could just imagine working with an attractive actress for several months. It would take a strong, confident woman to understand that what she might read in the press wasn’t reality. I was sure Brook could handle that.
Brook also understood business. I was starting to find that was going to be something I needed to learn.
On top of that, I really liked her. I felt better when I was around her, and her energy helped revitalize me.
Halle James. First of all, she was gorgeous. She was Rita James’s daughter, after all. Halle appealed to my artistic side, be it movies, drawing, or dancing. I could envision us as a power couple in Hollywood. Setting Hollywood aside, Halle was probably different from me in a lot of ways.