“You are whining a little.” I plopped down on the thin mattress of the bed. “But I forgive you. I’m feeling a little whiny, too.”
“Is it jetlag?” His sympathy made me feel loved and safe.
And I realized that I had to tell him. I couldn’t spend nearly two weeks in Paris with his once-best-friend and now-arch-enemy without saying something about it. But I didn’t really want to. I rationalized that if Jake was in my situation, I would want to know. That didn’t really help. But I knew from experience with Jake that any lie I told or truth I withheld would just get bigger and bigger until it buried me under an avalanche of my own guilt.
“No, Jake. I have to tell you something. This trip isn’t just for me and my mother. It was for all of the local professors and any family they wanted to bring, so…”
“Oh shit,” Jake interrupted. “Saxon is there.” His tone was flat and harsh.
“How did you know?” Shock had me sitting straight up on the bed.
“I didn’t know for sure, but Lylee is a professor, and what else would you be so nervous to tell me?” Jake cleared his throat. “Saxon’s traveled a lot. They used to do these trips when we were younger, back when we were friends.”
“Oh.” Jake only seemed reasonably upset about this, not freaking-out upset, and I felt a little relief that it wasn’t going to be a big deal.
“Did he bother you at all?” Jake said each word carefully.
Now it was time to lie a little. I needed to lie the kind of lie that doesn’t hurt the other person and makes life easier all around. It’s not quite a white lie. Maybe it would be safest to call it a gray lie.
“No,” I said simply. And I said the most comforting thing I could think to say. “There are a lot of other kids on the trip, so I’ll probably hardly see him.”
“Good.” Jake sounded decisive, like he was determined to make the situation ‘good’ even if it kind of sucked. He wasn’t a complete angel, and I didn’t really expect it. From his perspective, Saxon was all bad. Jake tended to be much more black-and-white about things than I was, and Saxon was definitely all black in his book.
“I’m excited to explore our street tomorrow.” I got off the bed and went to my window so I could peer at the sloped tin roofs and the cobblestoned streets below.
“Hey, I have a surprise for you.” Jake sounded excited. “Can you log onto your Facebook page?”
“I can.” Jake’s enthusiasm spread to me. I plugged my adapter into the wall and flipped my laptop on. The dorms got WiFi access, so logging in was quick. “Okay, what now?”
“Check out my page, under the pictures.”
He had changed his profile picture from one of him standing against his dirt bike to one of the two of us that my friend Kelsie had taken at a Folly show. I liked that he was advertising our togetherness. Jake’s shady past with girls coupled with his seeming irresistibility to the female gender made him really susceptible to flirting, especially cyber flirting. His entire comment section was clogged with girls sending him ridiculous glittery lips and cyber kisses and sexy e-cards and bumper stickers. It made me cringe whenever I went on his page.
I ignored the new kiss invites and ‘Just thinking of u!’ messages surrounded by blinking hearts and clicked on his picture link.
There was an album entitled “Brenna Is Gone !”.
I laughed. “I like your little sad face.”
“Don’t toy with my emotions, woman.” I could hear his smile.
I saw the first picture. It was the sun rising over the lake behind his house, the black branches of the trees dripping with rain.
“I like the first picture.” It was very dreary and damp looking, but that was the reality of winter in New Jersey.
“It’s like everything’s crying because you’re gone,” he explained.
“I get it.” It was so adorably metaphoric, I couldn’t keep the giggle down. “Even sadder than your little sad face.”
“Are you mocking me, evil girl? I put a lot of thought into this. I guess I’m going to throw out your homemade valentine and the love poems I wrote.”
“Did you really make that stuff?” Even though it was cheesy, I was dying with curiosity to see what Jake would make and write for me.
“No. But I might have if you didn’t tease my attempts,” he pouted cutely. After a second, he added, “And I still might.”
The second picture was my bike, leaned against the garage.
“Oh no! I forgot to put it in!” I imagined my poor bike rusting away as Thorsten lounged in his underwear, oblivious of my oversight.
“I put it in. I stopped by to drop off some apple tarts to Thorsten and saw it sitting there.”
“Well, now that I know the whole story, that picture doesn’t make me sad.” I sighed with relief, happy that I could depend on Jake, even across the ocean. “And it’s sweet that you brought over apple tarts. If we ever broke up, Thorsten would never talk to me again.”
“Better keep me around, then.” His voice had a tinge of worry in it, but I ignored that.
I clicked on the third picture. It was Thorsten, smiling with a box of apple tarts in his hand.
I laughed out loud. “That’s excellent! Mom will love it. Jake, this is really awesome. I didn’t even know you like to take pictures.”
“I wanted to keep in touch with you, but I’m not a really good writer, so I thought I’d take some pictures. Like to show how I’m missing you.” He laughed self-consciously.
“I love it.” I did. It was the perfect gesture. “I’ll put some of Paris up for you tomorrow. Remember, I’m in a different time zone.”
“I have my watch set.” He sighed. “And it’s late in Paris. You should probably get some rest.”
“I guess.” My heart sank a little. I just didn’t want to be alone, and I didn’t want to get off the phone with Jake. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. And I miss you already.” His voice fell by a few octaves. “I can’t wait until you get home.”
“Bye, Jake.”
“Buona notte.” It sounded for a minute like he had put his Italian cousin on the phone.
“Jake!” Would this boy ever cease to amaze me?
“I got a good Italian CD set out of the library.” He sounded very pleased with himself.
“You go to the library?” There was so much about Jake I didn’t know.
“I’m a man of great mystery. Get some rest, Bren.”
We clicked off, and I found myself still surprised that he had gone to the library on his own and gotten a CD to start learning Italian. He really was shockingly full of surprises.
I set up my laptop and was listening to the mix Jake made me when I saw a piece of paper poking under the door of my room. I opened the door and Saxon was bent over, his face turned up in surprise.
“I thought you were sleeping.” The look on his face told me he was glad that I wasn’t. Saxon didn’t bother to stand up. He balanced on the balls of his feet like he had meant for me to see him crouched over when I opened the door. I crossed my arms and leaned against the doorway, refusing to ask him in.
“I thought about it, but I guess I got a second wind. I was just putting my stuff away.”
“Let me help,” he offered.
“Help me put away my clothes?” I raised my eyebrow. “Why would I need help with that?”
“Your bras and panties might need organizing. Friend.” His smile was infectious.
“No thanks.” I stepped back.
“The moon is almost full tonight.” Saxon stuck his hand out as I tried to close the door. “Let’s go roam Paris.”
“It’s probably freezing.” I looked over my shoulder at the bleak, gray sky outside, getting darker by the minute. I could already see the almost-round moon shining palely.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “It’s cold,” he allowed. “I never pegged you for a wuss, Blix.”