“It’s on the other side of the world, Jake. Not that we can’t go. Maybe we should just think closer. Like Europe.” I closed my eyes and focused on the first amazing, beautiful image that popped into my head. It was Venice. “I’ve always wanted to see Italy.”
“That would be incredible.” The kangaroos hopped away, and I imagined Jake thinking of marble statues, cobblestoned streets, and the Coliseum. “Wow. Italy. Okay, Italy next year. It’s a deal.” He stuck his hand out, I took mine out of the soap suds, and we shook.
Next year. I’d be a junior plus and Jake would be a senior. I hoped we would still be dating, but just thinking like that made me scared to death I would jinx something. Would my mom and Thorsten ever agree to it? Right now it was too much fun to think about. There was no way I was going to let the whole plan get bogged down with possible problems.
Jake rubbed his thumb over the gold posey ring on my finger. “What are you going to see in Paris?”
I shrugged. “Mom and I barely had time to talk about it. But the flight is long, so I’m sure she’ll fill me in.”
“You’ll take pictures?” Jake asked. He let my hand go reluctantly, and I went back to scrubbing the dishes.
“Of course.” I imagined the two of us looking through my pictures together when I got back. “Will you take pictures?”
“Of Sussex County?” He shook his head. “Why?”
“I don’t know. I’ll miss almost two weeks of Sussex County in the winter. You can document it for me. Like a fortnight in the life of Jake Kelly.” I slid my eyes over to him. “Or you don’t have to. It was just a thought.”
“No.” He smiled from behind the cabinet door as he stacked clean, dry dishes in. “I’ll do it. You can look at it when you’re having trouble sleeping.”
“You’re not that boring.” I finished the final pot and came to help him finish drying and putting away.
“You’re delusional. My life is painfully dull.” He took a pan out of my hands and pulled me in for a kiss. “And soon I’ll have photographic proof.”
We finished the dishes in good-natured quiet, then Jake got more dessert and we settled in the living room. It was nice having Jake around. I had grown up an only child, and Christmas tended to be pretty quiet at my house. This was the first Christmas I had someone my own age around, and it was nice even beyond the fact that it was Jake and he was my boyfriend. It was fun to have someone to talk to and be with. Mom and Thorsten had on White Christmaswith Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney, and Jake soaked it in with wide eyes.
I slipped my heels off and tucked my feet under me, checking him out for a few minutes. I leaned close. “You like musicals?” I took a deep breath of his clean, crisp smell.
“I guess so.” His index finger ran along my fingers gently. “I’ve never seen this movie.”
“ It’s a Wonderful Lifeisn’t the only Christmas movie in the world.” I weaved my fingers with his and held on tight.
He clicked his tongue at me. “I know. I’ve seen The Grinchand Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.” He paused. “And Frosty the Snowman.”
“What about Elf?” He shook his head. “What about Emmett Otter’s Jugband Christmas?” He looked at me like I was crazy. “Oh, man, we have some catching up to do.”
So for the next few hours we laughed through Christmas movies. Jake had seen A Christmas Story,but had never heard of A Child’s Christmas in Wales, my all time favorite.
“Figures your favorite would be a weird poem story.” He pulled me over and kissed me on the temple.
“Dylan Thomas is not weird.” I defended one of my favorite poets. “You’re the most unexposed person I’ve ever met in my life.”
Jake tweaked my nose, which I thought was completely adorable and lovable of him, even if he hadn’t taken my seriously-made comment very seriously at all. Thorsten and Mom had more coffee and dessert, and Jake joined them. When they were done, he stood up, thanked my parents, and told them that he had to get home. One thing Jake was really good at was not overstaying his welcome.
Everyone wished him a merry Christmas and Mom shooed me outside with him. There was no snow. Except for a freak storm in September, we hadn’t had a single flake. The ground was hard and cold under our shoes and the sky had a crisp, clean smell that meant snow was near, but there was no actual snow.
“Maybe I can see you tomorrow.” He wrapped me in his arms.
I put my head on his chest and breathed in the sharp smell of aftershave wafting from his neck. “Maybe. I’ll work on my mom.”
“I had a really nice Christmas.” He rubbed his hands over my arms. “This might be the nicest Christmas I’ve ever had. I mean, since my mom died and all.”
I went really still. I heard about Jake’s mom as much as I heard about my dad. I waited and, just like Mom earlier, Jake lifted the mysterious curtain and let me take a brief peek.
“She was really into Christmas.” He held me tighter as he spoke. “I remember being in the car with her. She took me all over the town to random houses so we could look at the Christmas lights. And we just parked. She let me sit in her lap, and we just looked at this really big house with all of these lights on it. I don’t remember much, you know. I was pretty young when she died. But she did really like Christmas.”
“I’m sorry you didn’t get that many with her.” I felt the prick of tears in my eyes. No mother? I couldn’t imagine a sadder fate. I had a hard time breathing without letting my tears run.
“Don’t cry, Bren.” Jake kissed me. “I never tell you about this stuff because you get too upset. It’s okay, really. I miss her, but it’s okay.”
I hugged him tight, so tight my arms hurt. Jake had so little. Jake needed so much. It was intimidating. It was a lot to feel responsible for. But, I loved Jake, loved him, loved him, loved him. I would guard his heart, no matter what.
“I love you,” I whispered right in his ear, and suddenly I was pressed up against the house, his hands knocking bobby pins out of my hair, his mouth hard on mine. He had my coat spread open at the sides and I could feel his body crushed to me, hot through my silky dress. “Come back tonight.” I didn’t care that I was begging shamelessly.
“I can’t, Brenna. Your parents will kill me if they catch me.” He kissed my mouth and down my neck.
“Please, Jake. They drank that whole bottle of wine. They’ll never know. I don’t have long with you. Please, Jake. Please.” I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him gently on his earlobes and under his jaw, where I knew he was most sensitive. “Please.”
“Okay.” He dragged his hands out of my hair, down my neck and along the front of my body. He closed his gray eyes, and I wanted to yell at him to open them up again. I wanted to feel his hands on me for a little while more, but he pulled away before I had my fill. “I’ll come back at two. I’ll call when I’m at the window.”
I kissed him. “Thank you.”
I didn’t watch him pull out of our driveway. I ran back in, and I knew I looked pink and flushed and bright-eyed. I knew that Mom felt validated about whisking me off to Paris. I couldn’t stop the love for him from brimming out of me, and it was so intense it was dangerous. I knew that, and she knew it.
Chapter Three
I forced myself to sit at the table and sip cocoa and chatter happily. Thorsten pretended to cry about Mom and me leaving him for a week and a half, but I knew he would be happy to walk around in his underwear and smoke his pipe on the porch. Mom was very giggly and Thorsten was pretty silly himself. I was fairly sure that they were at least toasted enough to turn in early, and I wound up being right. They wobbled off to bed after they kissed and hugged me goodnight, and I sat on the couch and looked at our bright, pretty Christmas tree for a while. Then I took the DVDs Jake bought for me and headed to my room.