“He cares about you,” I countered.
He shook his head. “He feels responsible for me. If he knew my father was around, I think he’d want me to go with him. At least for a while.”
“I think you’re wrong.” I felt petulant and uneasy.
He shrugged again. “I might be.” But his tone of voice said that he didn’t think he was.
“This sucks.” I twisted my hands in my lap.
“It’s not perfect,” Jake said, then sat up. “But I’ve never had a chance like this before.”
“I know.” I hung my head. “I’m being a bitch not telling you to just go for it.”
“You’re not.” He grabbed my hands and kissed them. “I know you want to protect me. But my father isn’t going to change what we have. I know you probably even think I’m crazy, but what I feel for you is real. It isn’t going away, no matter what happens with my dad. I love you so much, Brenna. I love you more than anything.”
“I love you, too, Jake. I love you no matter what.”
And, right there, I knew that if I was going to lose Jake, he was already gone. There was nothing I could do but let this all play out and trust that fate would bring the best. In the bright moonlight, with Saxon snoring lightly behind us, while I was wearing this red silk dress that had made Jake’s eyes widen with want, I pulled Jake’s mouth onto mine and tried to imprint the taste and smell and feel of him. Just in case fate really did the unfathomable and tore him away. I wanted a solid memory of Jake Kelly, myJake Kelly, uncorrupted, full of love for me, pining, wanting, just about to burst out of his shell, but not quite there. Yet.
Acknowledgements:
First and foremost, I want to thank my strong, smart, fierce mother. Her maniacal faith in my ability to do absolutely anything is sometimes overwhelming and always encouraging, especially when I start I get the urge to curl into fetal position and eat massive amounts of comfort pudding. I give her all the love and respect in the world.
And thanks to my baby sister, Katie, who never pulled a single punch in her young, mean life. Especially the day she ripped that “Do you want to be a writer?” leaflet from an Avon novel back when we were in high school, raised her perfect eyebrow, and stuffed the page in my hand with a single, fateful remark; “You could write a better book than this, so you should.”
I want to thank my brothers Jack and Zachary for supporting me even if they act like books will burn them if they hold them for too long. Thank you to my “baby” sisters Jessica, Jillian, and Jamie, who make me laugh and remind me of what it was like to grow up in NJ. Thanks to my dad, who constantly calls and updates me on any book/writing/publishing news he hears on NPR. I’d like to thank my grandparents for calling me and nagging me to get my work out there or just generally encouraging me so I could make some money and stop mooching off of them. But also, of course, because they love me and think I’m a decent writer. Thank you to all my family who have cheered me on and believed in me, no matter how obnoxiously lost in my own fictional world I’ve been. I want to thank those friends who inspired the friendships in this book and still warm my cockles (Ronan, Jessie, Kimmy, Liz, Jesse, Aaron, Ellen, Lou, Fran, Frank, Chloe, Elisa, Lauren, Biffy, Holly, Jen K…)
An unimaginably huge debt of thanks goes out to the long line of teachers who loved and nourished my voracious little reader-mind; Mr. Post, Mrs. Schroth, Mr. Flynn, Mrs. White, Ms. Mattil, Ms. Hassenplug, Mr. Bauer. Every single one of you swept me up in reading and inspired me to write more. Or less, if I was being too longwinded. Thank you for your red pens, your passion for words, and your patience with my sometimes irritating exuberance.
I could not have done this without my best friend and amazing editor, Alexa Offenhauer, who runs a fantastic editing business, Loose Leaf Editing. She untangled my crazy sentences, updated my 90’s era fashion nightmares, and rooted for the book with her entire, brilliant heart from day one. A huge thanks also goes out to the hugely talented YA authors Caryn Caldwell and Angie Stanton for being so sweet but firm as critiquers, and lovely and inspiring as writers, loooong email exchangers, and friends. We need one on one drinks together pronto, ladies! Tamar Goetke for reluctantly embracing her inner teen and being my meanest beta, and who shames me by reading and proofing my work while managing to be the most amazing mommy/wife/daughter/friend and make delicious treats to fortify me. Thank you to Brittany Hansen for her uncontrolled squeals of girlish delight. I tucked them in my head for ear cleanings and to give me happy courage when I just wanted to sink into a bottomless pit and stop this writing madness. I want to thank Courtney Kelsch for understanding more than anyone this particular romance in this particular place and reminding me of why it’s an important story to tell (while also reminding me not to mix my verb tenses). Thank you to Elisa Keller for being my woman-to-go-to when I need to know where apostrophes go or do not go in area landmarks, and for diving headfirst into the quirky romance of my bungling teens-in-love. Thank you to my fantastic, amazing, blow-me-away cover designer, Steven Peterson. He made Brenna, Jake, and Saxon come alive right before my eyes, and I will never forget the moment he made them jump out of my head and onto the page.
I want to thank the friends I’ve met or connected with in a new way since my books came out. So many people popped up to help me, support me, offer me a good laugh, and make me feel generally amazing, and I appreciate every comment, encouraging word, and hilarious video link! Thank you to Dr. Holly Kuzmiak-Ngiam for always having a sweetie-pie comment at the ready and kindly offering to help me make spreadsheets to organize my insanity. I can’t thank the online book blogging community enough! So many people said so many nice things and helped spread the word just because they love books and reading. Their passion is incredible! Missy P. Watkins jumped in and devised an amazing blog tour, you know, just because she’s amazing and kind and sweet. Fred LeBaron, thank you for your kind, encouraging emails and your willingness to read and then recommend my book! Thank you to the other YA indie writers who are busy and brilliant and hard-working, but still took time to email me, befriend me, and assure me that I’m part of one of the most amazing groups of creative people out there!
Last, but never least, thank you to my girl, Amelia, who I hope grows up crazier and more amazing than any girl I could imagine in any book…but not too fast. And a big, wet, sloppy thank you to my husband, Frank, my love, my best friend, and the coolest guy I’ve ever known. His awesomeness has inspired some great fictional romance.
And a huge thank you to my readers! I love hearing from you! I love knowing you have songs that go along with my books and that you’ve already cast the Brenna Blixen movies! I hope Brenna, Jake, and Saxon meant as much to you as they do to me. Anytime you want to drop a line, send me an email at lizreinhardtwrites@gmail.com. Love to you all!
Biography
Liz Reinhardt, author of Double Clutch: A Brenna Blixen Novel, was born and raised in the idyllic beauty of northwest NJ. A move to the subtropics of coastal Georgia with her daughter and husband left her with a newly realized taste for the beach and a bloated sunscreen budget. Right alongside these new loves is her old, steadfast affection for bagels and the fast-talking, foul mouths of her youth. She loves Raisinettes, even if they aren’t really candy, the Oxford comma, movies that are hilarious or feature zombies, any and all books, but especially romance (the smarter and hotter, the better), the sound of her daughter’s incessantly wise and entertaining chatter, and watching her husband work on cars in the driveway. You can read her blog at www.elizabethreinhardt.blogspot.com, like her on Facebook, or email her at lizreinhardtwrites@gmail.com.