The new Authorities gave every indication of being united for the first time, as they glared at Walker.
“Let’s get down to business,” I said. “You brought me here because of the Walking Man. Why don’t you people want him here? Would it really be so bad if he were to wipe out some of our more prominent scumbags and generally take out the trash?”
“This Walking Man tends to favour the scorched earth policy,” murmured Walker. “And bad as this place undoubtedly is... there are some things here worth preserving.”
I smiled. “You are mellowing, Walker.”
“Told you,” said Walker. “Terrible, isn’t it?”
“What exactly do we know for sure, about the Walking Man?” I said, looking round the table.
Julien Advent took the lead, as always. “Throughout history, there has always been the legend of the Walking Man. That once in every generation, a man can make a deal with God to become more than a man. He can swear his life to God, and if that man will swear to serve the Light and the Good with all his heart and all his will, forsaking all other paths, such as love or family or personal needs...then that man will become stronger, faster, and more terrible than any other man. He will be invulnerable to all harm, as long as his faith remains true and he walks in Heaven’s path. God’s will in the world, God’s warrior, the wrath of God in the world of men, sent forth to punish the guilty and stamp out evil wherever he finds it. Called the Walking Man because he will walk in straight lines to get where he has to go, and do what he has to do, and no-one will be able to stop him or turn him aside.”
“Some Walking Men have killed kings,” said Walker. “Some have overturned countries and changed the fate of the world. Others have followed more personal paths, clearing the world of evil one death at a time. Some stick to the shadows, some lead armies; and now one has come to the Nightside.”
“If some of them have been so important, why don’t I know their names?” I said.
“You probably do, if you think about it,” said Julien.
“Ah,” I said. “Like that, is it?”
“Mostly,” said Julien. “There have never been that many, down the centuries. Perhaps because no normal man would take such a deal, giving up love and friends and everything that makes life worth living.”
“They’re killers,” said Larry. “Cold-blooded, cold-hearted killers. Judge and jury and executioner. No mercy, no compassion, no pity.”
“And only he gets to decide what’s evil and what isn’t,” said Count Video. “He doesn’t care what the law has to say. He doesn’t have to. He answers to a higher power.”
“No shades of grey for the Walking Man,” said Annie. “Only stark black and white, all the way. You can see why so many people in the Nightside might be feeling a tad nervous, now that he’s here.”
“So as far as he’s concerned, just by being here we’re all guilty,” I said. “I can see why you thought you needed me.” I considered the matter for a while. “What do we know about the current Walking Man?”
“Nothing,” said Larry Oblivion. “Not even his real name. He’s invulnerable to all forms of remote viewing. We’ve tried science and sorcery, seers and oracles, and computers, gone cap in hand begging answers from important personages on all sides, and no-one knows anything. No-one wants to know anything. They’re all afraid of being . . . noticed. All we know for sure is that he’s on his way here. Hell, he could be here right now, walking our streets, and we wouldn’t know it till the bodies started piling up.”
“He punishes the guilty,” Jessica Sorrow said quietly. “And so many here are guilty of something.”
“But . . . if no-one can see him, what makes you so sure he’s coming?” I said.
“Because he told us,” said Annie.
“Sent me a very nice handwritten letter,” said Julien. “In my capacity as editor of the Night Times. Advising us of his purpose and intentions, and that he would be here within twenty-four hours. Which time is almost up. He wanted me to publish his letter, so everyone would know he was on his way and could put their affairs in order before he got here. Very considerate of him, I thought.”
“Yes,” I said. “You would. Are you going to publish his letter?”
“Of course!” said Julien. “It’s news! But... not just yet. We don’t need a panic. Or people taking advantage of the situation to settle old scores. We’re hoping you can . . . do something, before matters get out of hand.”
I looked around the table. “What, exactly, do you want me to do?”
“I would have thought it was obvious,” said Julien. “We want you to find the Walking Man and stop him from bringing death and destruction to the Nightside in general, and us in particular. He was quite clear in his letter that he intends to kill the new Authorities to send a message to the rest of the Nightside.”
“How am I supposed to stop the wrath of God?” I said. Not unreasonably, I felt.
Larry Oblivion smiled. “That’s your gift. We’re confident you’ll . . . find a way.”
I suppose I asked for that. “What’s the fee?” I said.
“One million pounds,” said Julien. “And...we’ll owe you.”
I nodded. “Sounds about right.” I looked from face to face. “You’re all powerful people. And you know even more powerful people. Some of them so powerful they aren’t people at all. So why put your faith in me?”
“Walker recommended you,” said Julien. “And you do have a reputation for winning out against impossible odds.”
“You of all people should know better than to believe everything you read in the papers,” I said. I sighed, heavily. “All right. But let us be very clear about this. What exactly do you mean, when you say you want me to stop him? Do you mean reason with him, overpower him, or kill him?”
“You are authorised to use any and all means necessary,” Julien said carefully.
“Hell, you can try bribing him if you think it’ll do any good,” said Annie. “Do whatever it takes, we’ll clean up the mess afterwards. If you’ve tried being reasonable, and he doesn’t want to know, feel free to stick a gun up his nostrils and blow his bloody head off.”
“Love to,” said Suzie, and we all looked at her.
“I’m still worried about the whole unstoppable, invulnerable, wrath of God bit,” I said.
“This from a man who’s fought angels from Above and Below,” said Larry. “At least, according to him.”
“I know my limits,” I said, matching him stare for stare. “I can find the Walking Man. I can talk to him. I can use all kinds of tricks to confuse and divert him . . . but after that, your guess is as good as mine. We’re in unknown territory here.”
“Scared?” said Count Video.
“Bloody right I’m scared!” I said. “When the angels came here to fight their war over the Unholy Grail, their powers were strictly limited by the nature of the Nightside, and they still killed thousands of people and wrecked the place! And now Walker tells me the Nightside’s nature has changed, and we don’t even have that protection any more. If I had any sense, I’d go home and hide under the bed until this is all over. As it is . . . Look, when we talk about the wrath of God, we should be bearing in mind what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah, two cities destroyed by God for the sinfulness of their inhabitants. And I’ll bet good money they weren’t up to half the stuff that happens here on a regular basis, half price at weekends.”
“He’s still just a man,” said King of Skin. His voice was deep and rich and irredeemably sleazy. “Every man has his weaknesses.”
“I’ll be sure to mention that to him,” I said. “From a safe distance. Come on, I’m good, people, but even I can’t go up against the direct will of God. Just saying that out loud is enough to make me nervous of a plague of boils on my nether regions.”