Dad back… but it made her feel better to give this silent voice to the feeling within her, no matter how predictable she thought it was.
Of course, she never mailed any of those letters or showed them to anyone. She kept them collected in a fake leather binder she'd purchased at a crafts show in suburban Miami. Lately, she had taken to writing synopses of her cases in the letters, giving words to all her suppositions and guesses, keeping these dangerous ideas out of official notes and reports. She wondered sometimes whether her mother, if she'd actually read any of those letters ostensibly addressed to her, would be more shocked by what had happened to her daughter or by what her daughter saw happening to others.
She pictured the old couple on Tarpon Drive. They had no chance, she thought. They knew what they'd produced. Did they think they could bring Blair Sullivan into the world and not have to pay a price? Everyone pays, Shaeffer thought of the first time she'd raised the heavy.357 magnum Colt revolver that was the standard sidearm of the Monroe deputies. Its heft had been reassuring: a solidity in her grasp that whispered into her ear that she would never be a victim again.
She touched the gas pedal and felt the unmarked cruiser shoot forward, climbing through the seventies and eighties, surging through the midday heat.
She had put one of six into the target the first day. Two of six the next. By the time she'd finished the six-week training, all six of six, gathered tightly in the center. She'd continued practicing at least once a week, every week, after that. She'd branched out as well, gaining a proficiency with a smaller automatic and learning how to handle the riot pump that was locked into each car. Lately, she had started taking time on the range with a military-issue M-16 and had adopted a NATO-style nine-millimeter for her own use.
She pulled her foot from the pedal and let the car slow back to the speed limit. She stared up into her rearview mirror and watched another car ride up hard behind her, then swing out into the lane next to her. It was a state policeman in an unmarked Ford, hunting for speeders. She'd obviously sailed through his radar, bringing him out of hiding, only to have him make her car.
He peered across at her from behind dark aviator shades.
She smiled and gave an exaggerated shrug, seeing the man's face break into a grin. He raised one hand as if to say, No big deal, then accelerated past her. She picked up her radio and switched to the state police frequency.
This is Monroe homicide one-four. Come back.'
'Monroe homicide, this is Trooper Willis. I clocked you doing ninety-five. Where's the fire?'
'Sorry, Troop. It was a nice day, I'm working a good case, and I decided to air it out a bit. I'll keep it down.'
'No problem, one-four. Uh, you got time to have a bite to eat?'
She laughed. A high-speed pickup. 'Uh, negative right now. But try me in a couple of days at the Largo substation.' Will do.'
She saw him raise his hand and peel to the side of the road.
He will have hopes for a few days, she thought, and wanted to apologize in advance. He will be disappointed. She had one rule: She never slept with anyone who knew she was a police officer. She never slept with anyone she would ever have to see a second time.
She touched the scar by her eye a second time.
Two scars, she thought. One outside, one inside.
She continued north toward Miami. a receptionist outside the newsroom of the Miami
Journal informed her that Matthew Cowart was not in the office. Surprise flooded her, followed swiftly by a quickening of excitement. He's looking for something, she thought. He's after somebody. She asked to see the city editor, while she sorted through her suspicions. The receptionist spoke briefly on the telephone, then motioned her toward a couch, where she waited nervously. Twenty minutes passed before the city editor emerged from between the double doors to see her.
'I'm sorry to have kept you waiting,' he said quickly. 'We were in the news conference and I couldn't get out.'
'I would like to talk with Cowart again,' she said, trying to remove all the surprise and anticipation from her voice.
'I thought you got a statement the other day.' 'Not completely.'
'No?' He shrugged as if to say he had no sympathy for lost opportunities.
'A few things perhaps he can straighten out.' 'I'm sorry, but he's not here,' the city editor said. He frowned widely. 'Perhaps I can help you?'
She recognized how insincere this offer was. 'Well' she said with mildly false enthusiasm, 'I just can't get it straight in my head how Sullivan made his contacts and set up his arrangements…' She waved a hand to cut off a question from the city editor. '… I know, I mean, I'm not sure what Mr. Cowart can add, but I still just don't have a feel for all this and was hoping he could help.'
She thought this sounded safe enough. She suspected a softening in the city editor's tones.
'Well, hell,' he said, 'I think everyone's trying to understand the same damn thing.'
She laughed. 'It's quite a situation, isn't it?'
He nodded, smiling but still wary. 'I think he's filled you in as best as he can. But…'
'Well,' she replied slowly, 'perhaps now that he's had some time to reflect on what he heard, he can remember something else. You'd be surprised what folks can remember after they've had some time to think about it.'
The city editor smiled. 'I wouldn't be surprised at all. What people remember about things is our trade, too.' He shuffled his feet a bit and ran a hand through his thinning hair. 'He's off on a story.'
'So, where's he gone?'
The city editor hesitated before replying. 'North Florida.'
He looked for an instant as if the act of actually giving out a piece of information would make him ill.
Shaeffer smiled. 'Big place, North Florida.'
The city editor shrugged. 'This story has only happened in two places. You know that. At the prison in Starke and a little town called Pachoula. I shouldn't have to spell that out for you. Now, I'm sorry, Detective Shaeffer, but I have to get back to work.'
'Can you tell Cowart I need to talk with him?'
'I'll tell him. Can't promise anything. Where will you be?'
'Looking for him' she said.
She got up as if to leave, then thought of one other thing. 'Can I take a look at Cowart's original stories?'
The city editor paused, thinking, then gestured toward the newspaper library. 'They'll help you there,' he said. 'If there's any problem, have them contact me.'
She stood at a desk, flipping through a huge bound volume of copies of the Miami Journal. For an instant, she was struck by the wealth of disaster the newspaper documented, then she came upon the Sunday edition with Matthew Cowart's initial story about the murder of Joanie Shriver. She read through it carefully, making notations, taking down names and dates.
As she rode the elevator down to the main entrance, she tried to settle all the thoughts that swept about within her. The elevator oozed to a halt on the ground floor, and she started to walk from the building, only to stop abruptly in the center of the lobby.
This story has only happened in two places, the editor had said. She thought about the box that Cowart was in. What brings him to Blair Sullivan? she thought.
The murder of a little girl in Pachoula. What's at the core of that crime?
Robert Earl Ferguson.
Who links Sullivan to Cowart?
Robert Earl Ferguson.
What props up his prize?
Robert Earl Ferguson.