"Lisa... don't you understand where I'm at?"
"Don't say it. Don't say a fucking thing to me. You don't know me at all, but you think you do. Bravo. Get off and don't look back."
He stood there for a few minutes as she turned and pressed herself against the glass. The warmth of him still inside of her, his smell all over her. She was lost to the need to be his and yet he was a boy with games to play.
He walked out of the elevator, his shoulders slumped from what she could see in the window.
"Lesson learned," she whispered as hot tears dripped onto her cheeks.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Lisa had grabbed a cab from downtown, the driver kind enough to wait for her to run into her mother's house for money while he waited. The night had been filled with tears and screams into her pillow, the emotions accompanying love so much more violent than lust.
It had been a mistake to come to New York. Seeing him only compounded the fact that she was in love with him. If she gave him an inch he would drown her. She would pick up and move back to New York just to be near him. Love felt like obsession, wicked and controlling.
The morning came quickly, Lisa still staring at the white dress he bought her on the floor. She forced herself to get up and shower again, the one the night before not seeming like enough. She could still feel him on her, smell him all over her. Where there was nothing she wanted more than to bathe in his scent, his way of controlling her was confidence shattering.
Maybe she wasn't who she thought she was?
Her phone buzzed. Kari asking if Lisa was going to visit her mother. She started to respond, but Kari sent a pleading text asking Lisa to take her mom some of the little vanilla scones from the bakery near Lisa's parents’ house. She hesitated before simply saying she would.
Marc had texted multiple times during the night, trying to prove his point, but never apologizing. He felt like his point was made and if she wasn't willing to see him after it, then she didn't understand him at all.
"Fuck off," she grumbled toward the phone and launched it across the room.
A quick shower left her feeling a little better. Pulling her long copper hair into a high ponytail she slipped on a pair of comfortable jeans and a Metallica t-shirt. It would piss her mom off, which would make her feel better either way. She smiled at herself in the mirror and tried to shrug off the nagging sensation that Marc was right. Lust was part of the past, a part that felt almost dirty and unyielding. Love was something he wanted to move toward.
"That was the message, right?"
But why lord over her? Why make her feel cheap and small? Why take pleasure from her and offer none in return?
Anger burnt her thoughts away, Lisa jogging down the stairs to the kitchen. Her father looked up from his paper, a smile on his aging face.
"Hi princess."
"Hi daddy. Where's the beast?"
"Lisa... your mother hates that nickname."
Lisa let out a short laugh. "She knows about it?"
"Yes and it hurts her feelings. You really should be more considerate. She did the best she could, baby." Her father motioned for her to join him. "Come here and tell me all about your life. Any prospects for marriage?"
"Um, no." She walked to the cabinet and got out a travel mug. "I'm going to head over to Ms. Martin’s. Kari wants me to take her some pastries and I guess it would be nice to visit with her a little."
"Sounds good. Will you be here tonight?"
"No, I'm going to take my things now. I'm leaving early. Something came up at the office."
"Did you reschedule your flight?"
"No, but I'll text my assistant and have her do it." She shrugged and filled up her mug with coffee. Lisa walked to the table and gave her father a quick hug. "Tell the beast that I said happy birthday."
Lisa turned and walked toward the foyer, her father's sound of disapproval nothing compared to the one she usually got for simply breathing from her mom. To get out of town without having to see the woman again would be a huge success. She hoisted her bag onto her shoulder and walked out in the early morning summer day. The heat was a bit much, but she wouldn't be out in it long, so no big deal.
"Where you headed, Miss Lisa?" Fredrick moved toward her from the small seat he reclined on the front porch in.
"I need to stop by that bakery just up the street. The one with the sinful chocolate donuts."
"I know the one well." He patted his stomach and smiled.
"Then I need a lift to Kari's house. You remember where her mother lives? In that tiny white house in the Bronx?"
"I do. Come on and I'll take you. Need me to pick you up later tonight?"
"I'll catch a cab from there to the airport."
"Nonsense. Just text me about thirty minutes before you go and I'll come get you."
"You sure?"
"That or I'll be a monkey's uncle."
She chuckled and got into the car, pressing her hand against the door to keep him from shutting it. "I haven't met your family, Fred. Anything is possible."
She waved over her shoulder toward Fredrick before walking slowly up the dilapidated steps of Ms. Martin's house. Marc's truck wasn't in the driveway, which was a good sign. Disappointment tried to rear its ugly head, but she shoved it back.
He wanted to be overtly dominant and try to teach her, HER, a lesson... he could find someone else to fuck with.
She reached up and knocked on the front door, a bit of white paint chipping off to land on the ground before her. How Kari's mom didn't make more money as a nurse was shocking. The cost of living in New York was outrageous, but the condition of her house plus the location was disturbing. The door opened and an older version of Kari reached out to pull Lisa into a hug.
"There you are. Marc texted this morning that he wasn't sure you were coming over."
"I wasn't sure I was either, but Kari wanted you to have these." Lisa lifted the small bag as Ms. Martin squealed with excitement and moved back into the house.
"Well, you're here now, so come on in."
"Is Marc here?" Lisa looked around as she moved into the small two room house. She set her bag down on the floor by the door. Joining Kari's mom at the kitchen table, Lisa reclined back and propped her feet on another chair close by.
"No. He said he wasn't feeling well. Not sure what's been up with that boy lately." She opened the bag and pulled out several of the small pastries, adverting her eyes from Lisa. "You want one?"
"No ma'am, I'm good."
"You don't look good. What's wrong with you? I'm used to seeing you filled with pee and vinegar."
"It's piss and vinegar."
"Good grief." Ms. Martin rolled her eyes, laughing softly as Lisa joined her.
"I think I'm in love and I don't want to be. It hurts all the time." Lisa touched her chest, rubbing softly above her left breast. "How can the organ that pumps blood around your body physically hurt when you can't be with the person that steals your thoughts, your breath?"
The older woman reached over and touched Lisa's arm, her face softening. Kari had a great relationship with her mom and Lisa coveted it. Her mom would laugh her out of the room should she try to have a serious conversation with her about anything.