I waited to see if he would bring up the subject of Howie and the bluebird, but he never mentioned it. When I finally asked him about it he bit into a cantaloupe and shrugged. "It had been there all the time, but nobody had looked for it." I didn't mention the larger issue of his assigning "tasks" to the patients. As long as the results were positive, I decided to allow it for the time being.
After he had finished the last kiwi, fuzz and all, I turned on the tape recorder. "I'd like to follow up on something you told me earlier."
"Why not?"
"I believe you said there is no government on K-PAX, and no one works. Is that right?"
"Quoit roit, guvnuh."
"I must be dense. I still don't understand how things get done. Who builds the libraries and makes all the equipment for them and installs it and runs it? Who makes all the holographic software, if that's the proper terminology? Who makes your eating utensils and your clothes? Who plants the grains? What about all the other things that you surely need and use on K-PAX?"
Prot smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand and muttered, "Mama mia. " Then, "All right. Let me see if I can make it complicated enough for you to understand." He leaned forward in his chair and fixed me with his penetrating black gaze, as he did whenever he wanted to make sure I was paying attention. "In the first place, we hardly ever wear any clothing on K-PAX. Except once each cycle-
every twenty-one of your years-when we have some cold weather. And nobody plants the grains. You leave them alone and they plant themselves. As for the libraries, if something needs to be done, someone does it, capisci? This goes for everything you would call 'goods and services.' Now do you get it?"
"Surely there are jobs no one wants to do. Hard labor, for example, or cleaning public toilets. That's only human nature."
"There are no humans on K-PAX."
I glared back at him. "Oh yes, I forgot."
"Besides, there is nothing that needs to be done that is really unpleasant. Look. You defecate, don't you?"
"Not as often as I'd like."
"Do you find it unpleasant?"
"Somewhat."
"Do you get someone to do it for you?"
"I would if I could."
"But you don't, and you don't think twice about it. You just do it. And it does have its rewards, right?"
The tape indicates that I chuckled here. "Okay. There are no undesirable jobs. But what about the other side of the coin? What about the specialty jobs that take a lot of training? Like medicine. Or law. Who does those?"
"We have no laws, therefore no lawyers. As for the former, everyone practices medicine, so;, in general, there is no need for doctors, either. Of course there are some who are more interested in such matters than are others, and they are available whenever anybody needs them. For surgery, Primarily-"
"Tell me more about medicine on your planet."
"I knew you'd get around to that sooner or later." He settled back into his familiar pose. "As I suggested a moment ago, there isn't much need for it on K-PAX. Since we eat only plants, we have almost no circulatory problems. And since there's no pollution of our air or our food, and no tobacco, there isn't much cancer, either. There's little stress, ergo no GI problems. Also there are few serious accidents, no suicide, no crime-voila! Not much need for doctors! But of course there are occasional outbreaks of disease. Most of these run their course without permanent damage, but there are a few nasty afflictions. For these we again have the plants. There is an herb or two for every ailment. You just have to look it up in the library. "
"You have an herb for everything?"
"So do you. For aids, for all the different kinds of cancer, for Parkinson's and alzheimer's, for blocked arteries. Herbs for selective anesthesia. They're all there, in your tropical forests. All you have to do is look for them."
"Selective anesthesia?"
"If you want to do abdominal surgery, there is something to anesthetize that part of the body. You can watch someone take out your appendix. Or do it yourself, if you wish. And so on. Your chinese have the right idea with their acupuncture."
"Are there hospitals?"
"More like small clinics. One for each village."
"What about psychiatry? I suppose you're going to tell me there's no need for it on K-PAX."
"Why should there be? We don't have religious or sexual or financial problems to tear us apart."
"All right. But aren't there those who become mentally ill for organic reasons? What do you do with them?"
"Again, these are rare on our PLANET. But such beings are usually not dangerous and are not locked up for the convenience of others. On the contrary, they are well taken care of by everyone else."
"You mean your mental patients aren't treated with any drugs-herbs-to make them well?"
"Mental illness is often in the eye of the beholder. Too often on this PLANET it refers to those who think and act differently from the majority."
"But surely there are those who are obviously unable to cope with reality..."
"Reality is what you make it."
"So no K-PAXians are ever treated for mental problems?"
"Only if they are unhappy, or request it themselves."
"And how do you know whether they are happy or not?"
"If you don't know that, dr. b, you can't be much of a psychiatrist."
"All right. You said there are no countries and no governments on K-PAX. I deduce from this that there are no armies or military weapons anywhere on your world-is that right?"
"Heaven forbid."
"Tell me-what happens if K-PAX is attacked by inhabitants of another planet?"
"A contradiction in terms. Any beings who would destroy another WORLD always destroy themselves first."
"Then what about your internal affairs? Who keeps order?"
"K-PAX is already orderly."
"But you also said there are no laws on your planet. Correct?"
"Kee-reck."
"Without laws, how does one know what is right and what is wrong?"
"The same way human beings do. Your children don't study law, do they? When they make mistakes, these are pointed out to them."
"Who decides what a 'mistake' is?"
"Everyone knows."
"How? Who created the original behavior codes?"
"No one. They just became obvious over a period of time."
"Would you say there is some moral basis for these codes?"
"Depends on your definition of 'moral.' I presume you are thinking about religion."
"Yes."
"As I said before, we have no religions on K-PAX, thank god."
"God?"
"That was a joke." Prot entered something into his notebook. "Have you no sense of humor on this PLANET?"
"Then you don't believe in God?"
"The idea was kicked around for a few hundred cycles, but it was soon rejected."
"Why?"
"Why kid ourselves?"
"But if it gives comfort..."
"A false hope gives only false comfort."
"Do all K-PAXians share this view?"
"I imagine. It's not something that's discussed very much."
"Why not?"
"How often do you discuss dragons and unicorns?"
"What sorts of things are discussed on your planet?"
"Information. Ideas."
"What sorts of ideas?"
"Can one travel forward in time? Is there a fourth spatial dimension? Are there other UNIVERSES? Stuff like that."
"One more thing before we move on to something else. What happens-I know this is rare-but what happens when someone breaks one of your behavior codes? Refuses to conform?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"We reason with him or her."
"That's all?"
"Yes."
"What if he kills someone?"
Somewhat agitated: "Why would any being do a thing like that?"