"It is a slave box," said Hermidorus.
"I beg to be pleasing, Masters!" cried the girl, from within.
"Surely she must be a very tiny woman," I said, horrified, to Drusus Rencius. "She is the former Lady Tais of Farnacium," said Hermidorus. "Her house name is Didi. She is, as I recall, a normal-sized slave."
"The box is so small," I said.
"It is supposed to be small," said Drusus Rencius.
"But consider the cramping, the tightness, the girl's helplessness," I said. "Those are among its purposes," he said.
"But it is so small!" I protested.
"It is not really so small," he said.
I looked at him.
"It would be, for example," he said, "more than large enough for you." "I will obey lovingly and with total perfection, Masters," averred the woman from within the box. "I beg only to be permitted to be fully and totally pleasing to my Masters!"
"Come along," said Hermidorus.
We then, once again, followed him.
"I beg to be pleasing!" cried the woman from within the box. "I beg to be permitted to be totally pleasing!"
"She is almost ready to leave the box," said Hermidorus "Let me see the license on her," said Publius. "I see," he smiled, surveying the scrap of paper given to him by Drusus Renelus, "the' Lady Lita." He looked at me. "A pretty' name," he said.
I thought so, too.
He smiled at me, as though amused by the name. I did not understand this. "It is not her true name, of course," said Publius to Drusus Rencius. "Of course not," said Drusus Rencius.
"Doubtless, in the circles in which you travel, Lady Lita," said Publius to me, "it would not do for your friends to know how you were brought half naked and braceleted into a slaver's house."
I looked away from him. I did not deign to respond to such a remark.
"It would be quite a scandal doubtless," he said, "and make a quite good story in the telling."
I looked away, loftily, still braceleted.
"Here, Lady Lita," he said, "let us stand you in the light, where we can get a better look at you." He conducted me to a pool of light, at the foot of a shaft of light, falling from a high, barred window.
I stood there, and the men stood back, looking at me.
"She is very pretty," said Publius. "'Lita' would be a good name for her." "I think so," said Drusus Rencius.
I stood there, being inspected. I had been afraid that Publius, when he bad been conducting me to the pool of light, and placed me here, might have touched me. I could not have prevented it, in such a brief garment, with no nether closure, my hands braceleted helplessly behind my back, but he had not done so. Had he done so, of course, my condition of arousal would have been made humiliatingly and embarrassingly evident to him. I hoped that my need was not somehow evident, subtly so, in my appearance and behavior, Perhaps through body cues. I hoped, too, they could not smell "Kneel down here, Lady Lita, in the light," said Publius.
I knelt down, in the pool of light. I kept my knees closely together. I was confused, and frightened. I was kneeling before men.
"Are you sure she is free?" asked Publius.
"Yes," said Drusus Rencius.
"Interesting," said Publius. He then walked slowly about me, looking at me, and, then, again, stood a few feet before me, looking down at me.
"Look at her," he said.
"Yes?" said Drusus.
"Closely," said Publius.
"Yes?" inquired Drusus.
"Do you not see?'" asked Publius.
"What?" asked Drusus.
"She has the softness, the femininity, the look of a slave about her," he said. "I assure you," smiled Drusus, "she' is far from a slave."
"I do not think so," said Publius. "I think she is a natural slave, and would train superbly to the collar."
Drusus threw back his head and laughed at the absurdity of this thought. I myself did not find it so amusing.
"Does anyone know she is here?" asked Publius.
"No," said Drusus.
"Why do we not then enslave her?" asked Publius. "No, Lady Lita," he said, "do not rise to your feet." I had almost leapt up. My wrists wildly, suddenly, had jerked against the bracelets. They had not yielded, of course. They were not made to yield. I knelt back then, in the light, on my heels.
"It would not be difficult," said, Publius. "We could transport her from the city. Then, elsewhere, when she is suitably branded, and her neck is locked in a proper collar, when she' is fully and inescapably a slave, absolutely rightness, and in your power, we might make test of the matter."
"This woman is not a slave," said Drusus Rencius.
"A silver tarsk says she is," laughed Publius.
"How are things in Ar?" asked Drusus Rencius. "I have I not been there for a long time."
"I will get the paga," said Publius. The men then drank, and spoke of small things while I knelt in the light, braceleted, and was seldom, I think in their mind or attention. Once I noticed that my knees had opened somewhat, without my really thinking about it. I quickly closed them. I hoped no one had noticed. I wondered if I was a slave. Publius thought so, and he was a slaver. He had been willing to put a silver tarsk on the matter. I looked at Drusus. Something in me seemed to say, "You lose your tarsk, Drusus Rencius. She is a slave." Then I hastily thrust such a horrifying thought from my mind.
"Please, Drusus," I had said. "My hands have been braceleted long enough. I am beginning to feel too helpless, too much like a slave. Please release me." "I will release you in the room," he had said.
I had then continued to follow him, still braceleted, through the alleys, toward the inn of Lysias.
Why did lie not release me now? Why did be still keep mc braceleted, like a slave? Could he not see that I was almost overcome with emotion? Could he not see my misery, my distress? Could be not see how overwrought I was? Could he not see the difficulty I was having, fighting myself?
We were approaching closer and closer to the inn of Lysias. This excited and thrilled me, but, too, it frightened and terrified me. There I would be alone with Drusus Rencius, a Gorean male, in the room. What would I do? How would I act?
I moaned to myself.
I wished to run to the room, and I wished to hang back, almost as though against a leash.
Emotions raged within me, furies and resentments lingering ro~ my Earth conditionings, residues of masculine values which I had been encouraged to espouse and exemplify, and, leased on Gor, welling up from deeply within me, from what sources I could scarcely dare conjecture, alarming me, concerting me, almost overpowering feelings of helplessness, vulnerability and femininity. I did not know what to do. I did not know how to act.
"I am free," I cried to myself, "I am free! Free!"
But I was half naked and my hands were braceleted behind Each step, too, was taking me closer to the room!
I wished that I had never seen slaves, and the house of Kuenes. I wished I had never known how beautiful they _e, and how they were dominated by men, and must obey! ~ished that I had never felt these powerful emotions, in all
ir irresistibility, profundity and depth! But then I knew
t this was false. It is better to feel than not to feel. I was
overwhelmingly moved by having seen slaves, and thlilled to
re been permitted, even on a license, to see the house of
omenes. Even though I myself was surely not a s~ve my
,I knew, was a thousand times richer for having realized
t such things existed, for having seen such basic, deep, hu- and real things.
"How do you know that you are not a slave, Tiffany?" I asked myself. "How do you know that you are different from those other girls? How do you know that you are not, as Publius suggested, a natural slave? How do you know tile collar would not be quite appropriate for you? How do you know it does not, in fact, rightfully belong on you?"