At the store, she stood listlessly behind the counter, pen poised over the inventory list, her eyes staring past it. Without conscious thought, she saw Kara, saw the two of them embracing; breasts touching, hips pressing together, lips seeking, tongues dueling.
"Ginny?"
"What?"
"You’ve been working on that list for the last hour." Nana walked over and glanced over her shoulder. "You’re still on the first page!"
"Sorry. I can’t seem to concentrate," she murmured.
"Want me to do it?"
"No, Nana. I’m sorry," she said. "I’ll do it."
"They close at five," she reminded her.
"I know."
Nana left her and Ginny forced her eyes to the page, marking down the items they needed to order. She shut her eyes several times, trying to block out images of Kara as they came to her and she firmly put them from her mind, instead she forced herself to recall Phil and pictured herself kissing him, wanting him. But it was not Phil that had her body trembling with want.
Later, when the bell jingled over the door, she glanced up, afraid it would be Kara, but two women walked in. Ginny watched them and smiled slightly when they met her eyes. Were they lovers?
God, now she was thinking that every woman she met was a lesbian! Why would that even enter her mind? It never had before. But she stared at them, seeing the familiar glances they shared and knew instantly that they were lovers.
Suddenly, Kara swam before her eyes; Kara’s mouth as she bent to Ginny; Kara’s tongue as it pushed into her mouth, tasting every inch of her. Kara’s hands, as they rested just under her breasts. And Ginny had wanted her to touch them. She wanted it now. She could feel her nipples harden at the thought and she longed for Kara’s touch. Her stomach turned as she saw Kara’s hands move over her breasts, cupping them, bringing them into her waiting mouth. Ginny was aware of the ache between her legs and she knew she wanted Kara’s hands there, too. Oh, God… I want a woman.
"Ginny?"
"Hmmm?" Her mind tried to focus, but all she saw was Kara.
"Ginny!" Nana said again and touched her arm.
"I’m sorry. What?"
"You’re a thousand miles away. These women are interested in fishing and I told them how you and your grandfather used to go all the time. Tell them how to find one of the lakes."
Ginny looked up and saw the women watching her and she blushed, fearing her thoughts were exposed.
"Are you familiar with the area?" she managed.
"We’re camping out on Mill Creek, but the fishing’s not very good there," one said.
"No. It never has been." Ginny smiled. "There’s a local fishing spot, but if someone asks how you found it, don’t you dare mention my name." She told them how to get to Battle Canyon Creek and the hidden lake, the one that Kara had sketched.
"Ginny, I’m worried about you," Nana said. "Why don’t you go home early?"
"You opened. I can’t very well let you close, as well."
"Don’t be silly. Jessica is here. Why don’t you call in the order, then go home. Get some sleep."
Ginny nodded, knowing full well that if she left the store, she wouldn’t go to sleep. How could she sleep? Her traitorous body was threatening her, making demands that she could not, would not satisfy!
Oh, this insanity has got to stop! I’m not a lesbian, she told herself over and over again. I’m not attracted to women. I’m not attracted to… Kara. She shut her eyes to the imagines of last night and turned away from Nana quickly.
"Ginny? Are you all right?" Nana asked.
"Fine," she managed.
"Something’s wrong. My God, you’re as white as a sheet," Nana fussed. "Are you getting sick?"
"I’m… I just feel a little dizzy," she said and it was the truth.
"Will you please go home? I can do the order, Ginny." Nana reached up and felt her forehead, checking for fever and Ginny was surprised that Nana wasn’t burned, considering how hot her body felt. "I don’t think you have a fever," Nana said.
Oh, yes, I have a fever, all right! Ginny nearly laughed hysterically and she covered her mouth with her hand. I’m losing my mind!
But she went home, leaving the store to Nana. She stripped off her clothes and took a cold shower, then crawled into bed, her skin still damp and she closed her eyes, only then allowing Kara to intrude into her thoughts.
What is happening to me? How can that woman affect me so? Why now? She groaned and rolled her head into the pillow. It was her own fault, she knew. Kara would never have kissed her if Ginny hadn’t practically begged her to. And why had she begged? Good Lord, had she been insane?
"I’m not a lesbian," she whispered. Of course not. There was Phil. She liked being with Phil. She liked sex with him. She rolled her eyes and sighed. Who was she kidding? It had never been great with Phil. In fact, it had never… stop! "I just haven’t met the right man," she murmured. "That’s all."
I won’t see Kara again, she vowed. Not unless she comes into the store. Then she would have to be civil to her. But that was all. She would not allow Nana to invite her to dinner ever again. She would not go out sketching with her ever again. And eventually, the guilt and shame that she was feeling over that one indiscretion would fade and she would be normal again. She should be thankful that it had stopped with just a kiss. She laughed bitterly. Just a kiss? That was hardly just a kiss! Hadn’t their bodies pressed together? Hadn’t her body been screaming for Kara’s touch upon her breasts?
Maybe she would call Phil. Maybe she would invite him to come visit. Sex. Maybe that was all she needed.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
KARA SAT ON THE porch, smoking, like she had been doing most of the day. She could not paint. She could not do much of anything. She had gone on a long walk that morning, trying to dispel Ginny from her thoughts. Little good it had done. She had been with her all day and she acknowledged the desire that still licked at her lower regions.
She vowed she would not see Ginny again. At least, not alone. Last night, she had come so close to losing herself in Ginny’s soft mouth. She had wanted to touch her. She had wanted to pull her to the forest floor and make love to her. Only Ginny’s frightened eyes had stopped her from taking what she wanted.
And of course, Ginny had no idea how close she had been. Kara wanted her with a passion that surprised even her. Ginny’s body had been soft, yielding and responsive. Ginny’s body had begged to be touched and she probably didn’t even know it herself. Only the look in her eyes had stopped Kara.
And then she was angry. Angry that Ginny had been afraid. Angry for wanting her. Angry that Ginny had made her want her.
"Jesus. Is she straight or what?"
Yes. Of course she was. She had merely been curious. Experimenting, maybe. Sex wasn’t great with Phil, or so she had hinted. Maybe she was just trying to find out how it would feel if she kissed a woman.
Well, Kara didn’t want any part of it. She was too damn old to get mixed up in this kind of game. She didn’t need it. She needed to work. She would go out sketching, every morning and every evening, until she had enough ideas to put to canvas and she would get the hell out of here and go back to Seattle.
Where it was safe, she added.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
"YOU’RE LOOKING BETTER today," Nana said over breakfast.
"You skipped your walk," Ginny accused. "I could have fended for myself."
"I wanted to make sure you were okay. You missed dinner."
Ginny hadn’t left her room the night before. She had slept some. A troubled sleep, but still, she had slept. She had heard Nana moving about in the house, had heard her making dinner, but she didn’t want to join her. She didn’t want to have to answer any questions. So she had stayed in bed, pretending to be asleep. She was hiding from Nana, but she couldn’t hide from her thoughts. Or her dreams.