Kara squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she didn’t feel so strongly about her. Wishing she hadn’t fallen in love with her. And wishing she didn’t hurt so.
"Ginny, I came up here, not looking for anything but to sketch and paint. But when I met you, when I got to know you… I…" She let her thought go unfinished. How could she tell this woman, this woman she’d known only two months, that she’d fallen in love with her? "I don’t want to just walk away from this. But you, this is so new for you, so different. I don’t expect you to just abandon the life that you know and assume that this is what you want. There’s so much out there for you. So many opportunities."
"So many other women, you mean?"
When Kara didn’t answer, Ginny stood and tugged on Kara’s hand.
"Let’s go inside. I want to lay with you… and I want to hold you," she said softly. "We’ll talk later," she promised.
They undressed slowly, touching each other only with their eyes, and Kara lifted the covers, pulling Ginny into her arms. They held each other, arms stroking soothingly, calmly.
"What did you tell him?" Kara finally asked, her words spoken softly, slowly.
"I told him that I wasn’t in love with him and that I would never marry him," Ginny said.
"And Louise?"
"Nana doesn’t understand. She’s still angry with me for sending him away," she said as her hand rubbed slow circles on Kara’s waist. "I wanted to tell her about you but I just couldn’t."
"No. I don’t blame you for that. She would hate me."
"Yes. I think she would," she admitted. Nana would blame Kara for Phil leaving. She would never understand how Ginny could find her magic with another woman.
"Ginny…" Kara ran her fingers through Ginny’s soft hair, brushing it back from her face. "Tell me what you want from me," she whispered.
"I’m not sure," Ginny admitted. "Like you said, this is new for me. I know that no one has ever made me feel this way, made me want like this. I know that, Kara. When I’m with you, like this, nothing else matters."
Kara moved her hands over Ginny’s breasts, feeling the nipples harden at her touch.
Ginny smiled and closed her eyes at the now familiar touch. How was it that in such a short time, she could know, without a doubt, that this touch was what she’d craved all her life? The soft, gentle touch of this woman? The only time she’d ever felt complete in her entire life was when this woman touched her, made love to her. She moved, rolling onto her side and fitting her body next to Kara’s, breasts on breasts, stomach, hips and thighs molding together. Finally, mouths met, gently, quietly, then with more hunger.
Kara wondered if it was enough, this fire that burned between them. And for how long? Kara wondered when Ginny would tire of her lovemaking, when would she go looking for someone else, someone else she could compare this to. Kara had had many lovers over the years, but none had stirred her soul quite the way that Ginny had.
But what about Ginny? There was a whole new world of opportunity out there for her. Maybe not here, but certainly in Seattle, where the lesbian community was thriving. She could meet any number of women, make new friends, begin relationships.
That’s what really bothered her. She had fallen in love with this woman, she wanted to be with her; she wanted a relationship with her. And that scared her more than she wanted to admit. She’d had only one in her life. Marsha. And she thought, at the time that it ended, that she would never again share her life so completely with anyone. But here she was, wanting Ginny that way. Wanting to wake up with her each morning, wanting to share in her life, be a part of it. Be a big part.
Ginny probably had not even looked past the sex to think about what her future would hold. She was young. She had plenty of time to play the field, to sample the water, to experiment. And she would meet someone with her same interests, someone who she could think about building a future with and then maybe she would choose to tell Louise, who might join in her happiness eventually.
"What are you thinking?" Ginny whispered as Kara’s mouth stilled.
Kara looked into her eyes, searching for answers, but finding only desire, desire for her. Her expression softened and she drew Ginny close, touching her lips again.
"Just thinking," she murmured against her lips.
Ginny smiled. "Don’t think so much, then." She pushed Kara back boldly, fitting her body on top of hers. "Let me make love to you. You still want that, don’t you?"
Doesn’t she know? Can’t she see how it is with me? Kara clasped her face between her hands. "I want that very much."
She closed her eyes as Ginny’s lips moved softly across her face, covering each eye in turn, nipping gently at her neck, whispering into her ear and Kara lost herself completely under those softly demanding lips.
She felt Ginny’s soft hair spray out across her breasts and she put her hands there, her fingers combing it away from Ginny’s face.
Ginny’s mouth covered her breast and Kara was conscious of how very slowly Ginny was loving her tonight. There was no urgency in her touch, only the sweet certainty that she knew how to touch Kara and she knew what Kara wanted. Oh, and she did. Kara’s body responded to her gentle touches, moving against her hands, pressing into her hips.
Ginny’s mouth came back to hers, tracing Kara’s lips with her tongue, boldly sucking her lower lip into her mouth. Kara moaned, taking Ginny’s tongue inside, sucking her in deeper.
"I can’t get enough of you," Ginny whispered against her mouth. "I can’t get close enough." She pressed her body to Kara’s, their breasts smashed together, hips joined.
Kara’s hands molded Ginny to her, caressing her rounded hips, squeezing her softness. "Come inside me," Kara urged.
Ginny’s hand moved between their joined bodies and her breath stilled when she touched her. So wet. Her fingers pushed through, letting Kara surround them with her warmth. She moved deeper into her, pulling out, then back in again, harder this time, moving her hips against her hand, against Kara.
"Yes, like that," Kara whispered.
Ginny’s body shuddered as her hips rocked against Kara, her fingers moving deep inside her, touching her core. She had never felt such intimacy, such a joining of souls before. Their breath mingled and joined, as their bodies did and Ginny covered Kara’s mouth, taking her release into her mouth as Kara cried out, holding Ginny’s fingers deep inside her.
Kara’s hands trembled as she touched Ginny’s face, wiping the perspiration from her brow. She was so certain of her love for this woman that she nearly cried, knowing that she could not have her. Not yet.
"Kara," Ginny whispered, words of love crowding her brain, but she couldn’t find the courage to speak any of them, to utter them out loud. She was still afraid. She was afraid that Kara would not want to hear them. She was afraid that all Kara wanted between them was this, this wonderful lovemaking that they shared.
Their eyes met as they both struggled with their feelings. Kara shielded hers, afraid Ginny would see too much.
"Let me love you," Kara whispered.
"Yes."
Kara kissed her tenderly, lightly brushing her lips. "Lay back," she urged and Ginny moved over, her head touching the pillow, waiting for Kara’s mouth to return to hers.
Kara’s kiss turned passionate; hot and demanding when Ginny took her tongue inside. Her knee pressed between Ginny’s leg and she knelt between her parted legs, her mouth going to her breasts; her nipples hard and erect and she took one into her mouth, sucking the tip inside, drawing Ginny into her.
She wanted to wait. She wanted to go slow, to love Ginny with the same tenderness that Ginny had shown her. But she lost her resolve when her hand touched Ginny, when her fingers brushed her. She wanted her mouth there, always.