Kara shut the door and followed Marsha inside, smelling the perfume that she remembered from long ago.
"When Stephanie told me you were back, I said, no, it can’t be. It’s still summer. You should be out camping or something, looking for your colors," she said, with just a hint of bitterness in her voice.
"I came back early," Kara said.
"You never did that for me."
Their eyes met and Kara smiled. "Did you come here to fight?"
Marsha pulled out a cigarette and waited for Kara to light it. "No. I came to visit," she said.
Kara poured them each a glass of scotch and shoved a cigarette between her own lips. "Let’s go outside," she said.
"I miss it here," Marsha said, when they settled on the deck.
"Where’s Robin?" Kara asked, surprised that she felt no anger.
"Things didn’t work out," Marsha said.
"I’m sorry."
Marsha waved her apology aside. "It’s ironic, really. She said I worked too much, that I was never around."
Kara laughed. "How long ago?"
"Oh, it’s been several months now." Marsha pulled on her cigarette, letting the smoke out slowly. "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Anyone in your life?"
Kara laughed again. "You know me. All work and no play."
Marsha leaned forward, her index finger reaching out to touch Kara’s hand. "Want to play now?" she asked wickedly.
Kara met her eyes, knowing that beneath her teasing tones, she was very serious.
"I’ve missed being with you," Marsha continued.
Kara smiled, thinking that if she had come a few months ago, she might have been tempted. But she let Marsha kiss her. Her mouth parted and she actually hoped that she could still feel something for her. But she didn’t. She pulled away, not looking at her and she brought her cigarette to her lips.
Marsha leaned back and watched her. "So, who is she?" she asked.
"Who?"
Marsha laughed. "I saw your paintings."
"And?"
"And you forget. I watched you paint for six years. I’ve never seen that much passion in one painting before."
Kara swallowed the last of her drink, but said nothing.
"Are you in love with her? The woman in your painting?"
"My, but you are perceptive," Kara said lightly.
Marsha took her hand again. "Look at you. You’re all tense." She squeezed her arm. "Why don’t you tell me about it?"
"You don’t want to hear it, I’m sure," Kara said.
Marsha shrugged. "What are friends for?"
Kara smiled at her, liking her more now than she had in years. Kara held up her empty glass. "I’ll need another for this story," she said.
"I’ll get it," Marsha said and came back with the bottle and their cigarettes. "Now, do tell."
"Just like that?"
"Yes. You’ve fallen in love. I want to know all about her," Marsha said.
Kara laughed. "She’s straight."
"Kara! Have you lost your mind?"
"Maybe I should rephrase that. She was straight when I met her."
"Why, you devil," Marsha teased. "Now I’m really interested."
"I’m in over my head, Marsha," Kara said, taking out her cigarettes and lighting one.
Marsha laughed. "This is so interesting. Kara Morgan in over her head!" Marsha grinned. "Tell me how it started."
"She owns a little grocery store in Chiwaukum, in the Wenatchee Mountains," Kara said. "I rented a cabin there for the summer."
"She owns a grocery store? How old is she?"
"Twenty-eight," Kara said.
"A child," Marsha said and grinned. "I love it. Go on," she said.
Kara shrugged. "We became friends. She told me about Phil, this guy in Seattle who wanted to marry her and I told her about women," Kara said.
"And?"
"And we became more than friends," Kara said quietly, remembering. "And then Phil shows up, wanting to take her back to Seattle and that’s a whole different story," Kara said. "Anyway, she sent him away."
"Wait, wait," Marsha said. "I want to hear the part about Phil. I love it when men don’t get their way."
"I must have been insane," Kara said. "They invited me on a cookout, Louise and all," she said.
"Who’s Louise?"
"Grandmother," Kara said. "Anyway, I shouldn’t have gone. I mean, Phil was there, I knew they had probably slept together and I was crazy with jealousy. But I went. Ginny and I took a walk around sunset, to the Big Tree," she said.
"Your painting?"
"Yes. We’re standing there, up against this tree…"
"Making love?"
"Yes. And Phil comes looking for us, but we don’t stop. We couldn’t. That’s when I knew for certain that I loved her."
"Jesus. Did he catch you?"
"No. But when we got back, Louise announced that Phil and Ginny are getting married."
"Kara?"
"I know," she said. "I’m crazy."
"But she sent him away?"
"Yes. And I left."
"Just like that?"
"She said that she loved me," Kara said.
"And you ran for your life?"
Kara shrugged. "She’s not straight, Marsha. She only thought she was."
"Oh, Kara. Do I know you or what?"
"Meaning?"
"You’re just protecting yourself, aren’t you? In case she finds out there are other fish in the sea?"
Kara laughed. "Very good," she said, inhaling deeply on her cigarette.
"Kara, you can be so stubborn sometimes. Don’t you know what a good catch you are?"
Kara laughed again. "You didn’t think so."
"I was selfish. I wanted more of you than you could give me."
"I’m sorry."
Marsha shook her head. "So? When are you going back?"
"I don’t know that I am."
"Why not?"
"She just ended a five-year relationship with a man. A man who thought they were going to get married. And now she’s discovered that…"
"She’s gay?"
"Yes. There was a woman once, before Phil, that she was involved with. Well, not sexually, but they were headed that way and she ran from it. Now that she’s accepted who she is, she’s got her whole life in front of her."
"And you’re scared she won’t choose you?"
"Something like that," Kara murmured.
"So you leave before she has a chance to tell you."
"Something like that," she said again.
"You haven’t told her, have you?"
"What?"
"That you’re in love with her."
Kara shook her head. "No. And I doubt that I will."
Marsha smiled and touched her glass to Kara’s. "Here’s to foolish women in love," she said lightly. "Foolish being the key word, Kara."
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
GINNY WALKED INTO the bar, feeling that every eye in the room was on her. More women than she ever thought she’d see were crammed together in the loud and smoky club. She shoved her way to the bar and got a beer, then walked through the crowd, looking at faces, suddenly wondering what she would do if Kara was there. But of course, she wouldn’t be. Ginny didn’t think that bars were Kara’s style.
She had scarcely taken a drink from her beer when a pretty, young women, barely college age, asked her to dance. Ginny stared at her, shocked, then politely declined. For a moment, she had forgotten where she was and why. She was embarrassed and wanted to call the girl back, but she let her go. She wasn’t interested in that woman in the least.
She didn’t decline her next offer, even though the woman was even more masculine that Phil. She was at least closer to Ginny’s age.
"I’m Mandy," the woman said.
Mandy? This was no Mandy! "Ginny. Nice to meet you."
The woman pulled her close and Ginny could smell bourbon on her breath and she turned her face away from her.
"I haven’t seen you around before," Mandy said.