Ginny nodded. "Okay." She didn’t care about the price. She would have drained her entire savings to have it.
The woman smiled. "She would like to display it for awhile. Could some arrangement be made?"
"No. I’m not from Seattle."
"Perhaps we could ship it to you then?"
"No." Ginny forced a smile. "I’m sorry. But I must have it now."
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
KARA STOOD LOOKING out over Puget Sound, unseeing, as the ferry took her to Seattle. A party. She didn’t feel like a party. She didn’t feel much like anything, but Marsha had talked her into it. A bunch of their old friends would be there, she had said.
"Big deal," Kara muttered. She glanced to the west, the sun still hanging on, dipping into the sea as it fought with the clouds that brought a slow drizzle. And the colors were magnificent. But she could find little joy in them this evening. She turned her face away and cupped her hands, flicking a flame to her cigarette.
She drove through the wet streets, thoughts of Ginny crowding her mind and she pushed them all away.
"Jesus, look at you," Marsha said, drawing Kara inside. "You look like shit."
"Thanks."
"I mean it. When’s the last time you’ve eaten?"
Kara shrugged, slipping another cigarette between her lips. Marsha watched her, concern showing on her face. "I’ve never seen you this way, Kara. I’m worried about you."
"Please," Kara said and rolled her eyes. "I’m fine."
"Why don’t you call her?" Marsha asked gently.
Kara shook her head. "No." She took a deep drag off her cigarette. "I’m extremely happy being miserable."
CHAPTER THIRTY
"IT’S THE BIG TREE," Nana said excitedly.
"Yes."
"It’s… beautiful," she said, looking closer. "Look, there are people…"
"Yes," Ginny said sharply.
Nana looked up. "Should we hang it above the sofa?"
"No. I want to put it in my room," she said.
"In your room? Why, it would look wonderful out here," Nana said.
Ginny stared at her. "I would rather hang it in my room."
"Well, okay. It is your painting," Nana said defensively. "Did you see her?"
"No. I bought it at a gallery, downtown," she said.
"What did you pay?"
"It doesn’t matter," Ginny said quietly.
"Too much, no doubt. You should have just asked her for one. She said she sometimes gave them as gifts," Nana said.
"Like I said, I didn’t see her," Ginny said. She left, taking the painting with her. She propped it against the bed and stared at it, again. It was all there. Everything she felt, it was there. Kara had captured it exactly. Their love.
She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to ward off the tears that she knew would come. She had been unable to stop them last night and today. She had cried. She had cried for herself. She cried for Kara. She cried because the pain in her heart was nearly too much for her to bear.
Maybe she shouldn’t have taken the painting. It was too painful to look at, really. Maybe she should just put it away for awhile. Maybe later, years from now, she could look at it and not remember.
"Where are you?" she whispered. "Why won’t you come back to me? I know you love me." She tucked her face into her hands and cried, deep sobs that came from her heart.
She cried when the espresso machine gave her mocha instead of a latte. She pounded the side, tears streaming down her face.
"Ginny?"
"Damn thing," she muttered. She sipped the mocha and it burned her mouth.
She cried when she restocked the shelf with cereal, knocking several boxes to the floor. She picked them up, wiping at her tears.
"Ginny? What’s wrong?" Nana asked.
"Nothing."
She cried when she burned the garlic bread they were having for dinner. "Goddamn it!" she yelled, jerking the bread from the oven.
"Ginny?"
"I’m sorry," she whispered.
Nana stared at her, not knowing what to say.
And she cried in bed, the light still on, her eyes staring at Kara’s painting for hours on end.
Nana suffered through her bouts of tears in silence. Ginny could not tell her what was wrong. Nana had quit asking. She walked around her gently, trying not to upset her.
One night, weeks later, as Ginny lay in bed, tears running down her cheeks, Nana came to her.
"Ginny, what’s wrong, child?" she asked gently. "I want to help."
Ginny turned bruised eyes to Nana. "I’m… I’m so lonely," she whispered.
Nana sat on the edge of the bed and brushed her hair, as if soothing a child.
"Why don’t you just call?" she asked.
"Call?"
"Phil," Nana said gently.
Ginny cried harder, her shoulders shaking. "Oh, Nana. It’s not… not Phil," she said.
Nana looked at her, puzzled.
Ginny couldn’t keep it inside any longer. She no longer cared if Nana hated her.
"I miss… Kara," she cried.
"Kara?"
Ginny nodded, covering her face with her hands.
"I don’t understand," Nana whispered.
"Kara left… because of me," she said.
"You’re not making sense," Nana said. "Why would she leave because of you?"
Ginny took Nana’s hand. "Kara and I… we…" But she couldn’t say the words. Not to Nana.
"Ginny? What? What’s wrong?"
"I love her," Ginny whispered.
Nana frowned. "You’re good friends."
Ginny shook her head. "More than friends, Nana."
Nana frowned again, her eyes searching Ginny’s. "What are you saying, child?"
"We…" Ginny closed her eyes. "We were lovers," she whispered softly. "I’m in love with her."
"Ginny?" Nana gasped. "You’re not saying… that you and Kara?"
"I’m sorry, Nana. I know you don’t understand." She opened her eyes, but Nana couldn’t meet hers. "I didn’t know how to tell you."
"But… Phil. You’re not… like that. Kara’s not…" But Nana stopped. "Is she?"
"Yes."
"My God. What did she do to you?" Nana hissed.
"No. It wasn’t her. It was me, Nana." She took Nana’s hand, trying to make her understand. "Why do you think I ran from Phil? It just wasn’t right with him. There was no magic. I was looking for that magic that you had with Grandpa," she said. "And then I met Kara. And I finally found what I had been looking for. She made me feel everything that I’d been missing."
Nana shook her head. "I don’t understand," she said softly. "I just don’t understand."
"I know you don’t. I wasn’t going to tell you." She turned away. "She’s gone, anyway."
"She’s why you’ve been hurting?"
Ginny nodded, tears coming again. "I love her. But I don’t think she’s coming back to me."
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
KARA DROVE THROUGH the mountains, the road more familiar than it should be. It had been three months since she had traveled here. Three months since she had left Ginny. Her stomach tightened. What would Ginny say to her? Would she be angry?
Maybe she would be thankful Kara had left. Maybe she had time to sort out her life, to decide what she really wanted. Maybe it wasn’t Kara.
Kara closed her eyes briefly, thinking of the pain she would feel if Ginny sent her away. But then, it couldn’t be any worse than the pain she had been suffering these past few months. Marsha, of all people, had made her come back.
"You’re making yourself sick. Hell, you’re making me sick just watching you."
Kara could smile now. It was almost over, one way or the other.
The Dobson place was as she had left it. She opened the windows, letting the breeze chase away the stale smell of the closed-up cabin. She unpacked what little she had brought back with her. She had been afraid to pack too much. She wasn’t certain how long she would be staying. And October was but a few weeks away.