“Do I look like a crack-whore?” I asked with a grin.
“Well…” he began, “I’m not acquainted with many crack-whores, so I really can’t say whether you look like one specifically. However, the cinematic depiction of a crack-whore…maybe a little.” He smiled easily and twisted the cap from the beer.
Asshole screw top making me look like an idiot with my bottle opener.
Before he even took a sip of that beer, he started, “Katherine…”
“I’m right here. I mean, there’s no one else here but you and me, so, the whole formal introduction when you’re about to say something to me…just sayin’, it’s like a big ole waste of time.”
“I overheard everything Mark said to you this evening.”
With a forlorn sigh, he eyed the roast like he wanted to put on some Barry White and have a moment alone with it.
“And?” I prompted.
“And, I felt I should be upfront with you that I was a witness to his…ugliness.”
“Yeah. He’s a dick. I’m fine now, so help yourself.” I nodded toward the carving knife.
“I…it’s been years since I’ve actually carved a roast.”
“I could turn on you at any minute. You really want me holding a sharp knife? I mean, the knife block is right there, but at least, if I had to lunge for a weapon, you’d have some time to work out your defense.”
He picked it up with a small smirk, and I watched as the tendons and muscles in his hands flexed. It was like watching hand porn right there at my kitchen table. I made a mental note that I needed to add some male hand pics to my Tumblr page.
He took a bite of the lamb…and moaned. I was pretty sure I saw tears in his eyes.
Then he murmured, “So goddamn good.”
“You two want the room?” I teased.
He swallowed and asked without warning, “Are you an alcoholic?”
The smile on my face died instantly, but considering I was his business partner, I answered him honestly. “I used to drink…excessively. Since Tori and Cam got together, I’ve been drunk three times, two of those, you’ve seen.”
“Do you drink every day?”
“Nope. Like I said, the last three times I drank, I got drunk, and outside of that, I’ve stopped. The beer is for guests, and Diet Coke is my new poison. When I really want a wild night, I get jacked up on cherry syrup and Diet Coke.”
“Katherine, what he said to you tonight…”
“Do me a favor and please, don’t rehash that scene with me. Eat the food I know you’re gonna go home and masturbate thinking about it and I’ll try not to be a raging bitch to you anymore.”
“And why are you, in your words, ‘a raging bitch’ to me…do you think?”
I stopped and looked at the edge of my simple, white plate. “It’s a defense mechanism, totally misplaced anger. I think I’ve got it in check now.”
He laid his fork down and confessed his own truth. “My ex was a vegetarian, and we split about a year ago. I just never started eating meat again.”
“You gave up meat for love?” I asked in horror. “I mean…bacon.”
“Vegetarian, not Vegan. I still ate fish and, very occasionally, I had turkey or chicken.”
“Pescetarian,” I said.
“Yes. The day I moved out, I told her I was going to gorge myself on baby animal flesh.”
“But you didn’t?”
“No,” he said and picked up his fork.
“Why not?” I asked, curiously.
“She used to show me pictures of how they slaughter lambs, calves…the baby animals. I said it just to piss her off. Now, why don’t you tell me why you hate to be called Katherine.”
“Yeah, I don’t foresee me sharing that information with you, H.”
“H?”
“Is it annoying?” I asked.
He finished chewing and replied, “Do you want it to be annoying?”
“Totally.” I grinned.
“Doesn’t bother me at all,” he said, taking another bite.
After that, he ate almost the entire small roast, and I didn’t mind the comfortable silence. I even forgot everything else from that night.
Because watching Holst enjoying the food I cooked was a much better use of my energy.
Katherine
Monday morning, six a.m., I arrived at Tori and Cam’s treehouse to bid them farewell, off on their honeymoon. I offered to watch the house and water the plants, seeing as how I’d be either downstairs getting the coffee shop sorted or upstairs at Beachy Bride with my friend, Dee, but they had Cam’s brother, Drew, all over that.
My job was to check in on Tori’s shop, Paper Petal. My boss, Greg—ex-boss now—had already trained my replacement to take over at Grizzly. I didn’t want any fuss; no going away party, nothing like that. It wasn’t my style, and, luckily, Greg knew that. But he still told me over the phone, “We’ll have sparkling sake in little pink bottles and all the delicious Japanese cuisine you can eat. You just tell me when, baby.”
Greg was awesome.
Paper Petal didn’t need me though. Tori’s shop was in the more-than-capable hands of Ruby, who was now a partner in the party planning side of things. It wasn’t that long ago, Ruby had a “situation” with an ex-boyfriend, the kind that meant she’d disappeared for three days. The police were involved, her dad ended up in the hospital, and the only person who knew the details was another friend by the name of Teensy.
Ruby never discussed what happened. For a while, she was zoned out, just going through the motions, it seemed. But one day, it was like she just woke up and decided not to live in fear of her ex-boyfriend’s ghost. Still, we watched over her, each in our own way. I showed up randomly and got my craft on. I absolutely loved making little wedding, birthday, and baby shower favors. It was repetitive, perfect for getting out of my head. So, it wouldn’t be a hardship to spend some time at Paper Petal in Tori’s absence.
“Okay,” Tori said, trying to hide the fact she was about to jump out of her skin. “Here’s everything for the shop, just in case Ruby needs something and you can’t reach me and—”
“Dude,” I said. “I haven’t even had coffee yet. Take it down a notch with the cray-cray.”
“We’re leaving in three minutes, Fairy.” Cam took out his keys, shot me a grin coupled with a wink, and lifted the second and final hiking pack over his shoulder and headed to the truck.
When he was out of the room, Tori quickly gave me a look that said she needed to talk…and not with her husband as an audience.
I knew this, so I said, “Hit me.”
“I checked that ovulation site. I’m off the pill, and we’ve been trying for two months now, and it still hasn’t happened.”
This wasn’t exactly news to me, but I was pretty sure Cam thought they were going to officially start trying on the honeymoon.
I decided to let that go since she had crazy-eyes. My job as her best friend was to dampen down the crazy. Luckily, I was the one who found that ovulation site and retained most of the important information.
“Two months isn’t very long. You have to get the pill out of your system first.”
Her eyes got big, just like they did before she’d start to cry, and confessed, “What if I can’t give Cam a family?”
“Honey.” I pulled her into a hug before I pep-talked her. “You have a man that would build a replica of Yosemite in the backyard if you asked. I never imagined love at first sight and all that fairy tale crap could happen, but it did for you, and your biggest worry right now should be avoiding snake bites and bear attacks and ticks on ball-sacks while your man fucks you on every available picturesque vista he can find. Keep your eyes open, Tori. It’s happening. Right now.”
“I love you, Kath.”
“Dude, get your ass out to the truck so you and your future baby-daddy can get started on that.” I pushed away first, turned her around, and smacked her ass…hard.