“Give yourself more credit, mother.”
“No, I’m being honest, Shani. You’ve grown up expecting to have babies, maybe even looking forward to it. To you it’s no big deal. But I grew up expecting never to have to go through that. And that brings me to the second big problem I faced. I’d had you and your brother. Don’t ask me how I survived it, but I did. And I loved you both to pieces. But there was no way in hell I was ever going to go through that again. I made the decision without telling your father. I was going to have the meditech see to it that I couldn’t have any more children. And I was absolutely determined.
“I went to Medical on the Rover. I even punched in the data, telling the meditech what I wanted done. And for once Martha wasn’t saying a word. Total silence from that department. Then I thought about how much I loved Challen and that he’d probably never forgive me, and I started crying. Next I thought of you and Dalden, and how precious you were to me, and I really got into a fit of weeping. I sat there on the floor, crying my heart out, finding out that emotions can actually cause physical pain.”
“You didn’t do it, did you?” Shanelle asked softly.
Tedra shook her head, admitting, “I didn’t have to. As soon as the hysterics started, Martha located Challen and Transferred him to Medical. He sat there on the floor with me and held me until I dried up, made me tell him what the problem was, then told me there was no problem. He had had no intention of getting me pregnant again. What I wasn’t aware of was that warriors don’t want big families, that they suffer right along with their women during labor because they honestly can’t stand seeing their women in pain. The standard is one or two, on the rare occasion three, children per household, and then a warrior goes back to drinking dhaya wine for the rest of his life, the local method of birth control. I’d already given Challen twins, which was more than enough for him.
“But to wrap this up, my first problem, from which I would have preferred to run like hell, simply had to be faced and got through; my second, Challen took care of himself. My point, Shani, is every difficulty and problem has its solution one way or another. You just have to find it. Your problems can be worked out one by one, until there are no more.”
It took Shanelle a moment to get out of the past and remember that Falon was the topic of this conversation. “Sure, I can think of one solution right now. I just go straight from sex-sharing into a meditech for the rest of my life.”
“That’s not funny,” Tedra snapped impatiently. “That problem happens to be Falon’s, and he’ll fix it or else he’ll answer to your father.”
“And what if it’s not fixable? He swears it won’t happen again, but, mother, he had to fight to control his passion tonight when he barged into my room. I watched him do it and it scared the hell out of me. And what, really, do we know about these eastern warriors? What else am I going to find different about him?”
Now Tedra grinned. “Maybe that they punish their women differently, or not at all. Maybe that one of those excessive emotions they possess is love.”
Shanelle gripped her mother’s hand excitedly. “Do you know that?”
Tedra winced. “Stars, I didn’t mean to get your hopes up, baby. No, I don’t know it. But your brother might. He’s been with these Ba-Har-ani for the last couple of weeks. Why don’t you ask him?”
“Ask me what?” Dalden said from behind them.
Tedra glanced over her shoulder. “Did you only just return?”
“No, we came back in with the food. We’ve been sitting in there starving, waiting for you both to join us.”
Shanelle turned and looked through the tall arched openings that led back into the chamber. Falon was sitting on one of the backless couches, talking to one of his friends, but he must have sensed her gaze, for he looked up just then, found her on the balcony-and melted her with one of those heartwarming smiles of his. She closed her eyes against it with a groan and whipped back around.
Tedra beckoned her son forward. “Your belly can wait a few minutes more. What can you tell us about the Ba-Har-ani and how they differ from our own warriors?”
“They are a little more demonstrative in certain instances,” Dalden said as he moved to Shanelle’s other side. “When they get angry, you know it.”
“Did you hurt him, Dal?” Shanelle asked in a small voice.
Dalden laughed. Tedra patted Shanelle’s hand, assuring her, “If he’d wanted to hurt him, he would have challenged him. Now what about how they deal with their women, Dalden? Particularly in the way of punishments?”
He shrugged offhandedly now, but there was a purely male spark of amusement in his amber eyes as he replied, “I believe they spank them.”
Tedra chuckled. “Is that all?”
“Is that all!” Shanelle gasped, outraged. “That’s-that’s-”
“Not what you were afraid of,” Tedra was quick to remind her.
Shanelle clamped her mouth shut. That was true. But spanking? From someone with Falon’s incredible strength? No, thank you.
“What about love?” Tedra asked next.
Again Dalden shrugged. “That was not a subject ever raised in discussion while I was with them. I know the man wants Shanelle. When he thought her a visitor, he would have bought her. Now that he knows who she is, he wants her for his lifemate. And I believe he will care for her as well as any Kan-is-Tran warrior would. I like him as a man. I respect him as a shodan. Frankly, I hope father gives her to him-especially since she’s already given herself to him.”
The note of disapproval that had entered his voice at the end had Shanelle glaring at him, even as her cheeks heated up. “That was my business, Dal. I chose him, yes, a mistake I don’t intend to repeat. It just didn’t work out, and that’s all there is to it.”
“I know you fear him right now, Shani,” he said with a degree of hesitancy after her outburst. “He told me so. But whatever the reason is, I’m sure he can make it right.”
“And I’m sure he can’t,” she replied angrily. “Stars, he told you everything else, I’m surprised he didn’t own up to that, too.”
This time Dalden grinned. “When you were mentioned, he didn’t know you were my sister, nor did I know it was you he was so determined to buy.”
“Damn it,” Tedra interjected at this point. “That’s twice now you’ve said he wanted to buy her. Does he think lifemates are for sale around here?”
“No, but that’s not how he wanted her when he thought she was a visitor. After all, his family has good reason for disliking visitors. But he still wanted to take Shani home with him-only as a slave.”
“A what?!” Shanelle and Tedra exclaimed together.
Dalden frowned. “Didn’t you know the Ba-Har-ani are slaveholders?”
“Now that you mention it, I have a vague memory to that effect, but from so many years ago, it’s no wonder I didn’t recall it,” Tedra said as she put an arm around Shanelle’s waist to lead her back inside, adding for her ears only, “That ties it neatly and for the last time. If your father gives you to that man, I’ll farden well help you pack myself to run in the opposite direction. I may even go with you.”
Chapter 15
Shanelle was able to relax a bit, now that her mother was firmly back in her corner. She was even able to get through the evening, losing her temper and her patience only once at the way Falon kept staring at her with such a proprietary air, as if she already belonged to him.