“Let me go grab a shirt so I can give you back yours.” I turn to go upstairs but he grabs my hand stopping me.
“Leave it on. I like seeing you in my clothes.” He places a kiss on my lips and I sag against him. This last month has left me so emotionally spent. Between trying to move forward, finding out what really happened between Brian and I all those years ago, and the confrontation with my parents, I just need a good nap and a bottle of wine.
I walk across the street to Brian’s house. Once we are inside, he leads me upstairs and my anxiety starts to kick in. I’m not ready for this step, for us to go there. I thought I was and at the diner I felt a rush when he suggested it. It’s too soon. Too fast. When we step into his bedroom my heart starts to pound. Brian walks over to his dresser and pulls out a pair of sweatpants and then throws them to me.
My reflexes kick in and I catch them giving him a puzzled look as to what I’m supposed to do with his pants. “You look like you need to get some rest. Why don’t you change into those and take a nap.” He gives me a quick kiss and then walks away shutting the door behind him.
That was definitely not the way I saw this playing out. I thought he might give me crap about backing out, but he is being so understanding.
I pull off my jeans and change into his sweatpants. They are about two sizes too big but none the less I pull back the covers and lay down in his bed. The pillows smell like him and I can’t help but to take it in. When did I become such a creeper?
***
I open my eyes not remembering even falling asleep. When I look out the window I see that the sun has gone down. How long did I sleep? The door opens slowly and Brian walks in.
“Hey, I was just coming to wake you up. You have been passed out for almost three hours.” He sits down next to me on the bed and I’m filled with unease and anticipation at the same time.
I can’t explain the type of emotions running through me right now. I want to be with him so much. I want that connection. I want Brian. The other half of me is still mourning my husband. Feeling like I’m betraying him by jumping into a relationship with Brian. At the same time Dan betrayed me and caused me to live in hell for months.
His hand brushes my cheek. “Hey, let’s just take it day by day, okay?”
I shake my head at his psychic abilities. “Sounds good.” He leans down kissing me and running his tongue over the seam of my lips. I open my mouth for him accepting everything that he wants to give me.
His passion pours into me as his tongue strokes mine. My hands run up his arms grasping onto them like if I don’t hold on tight he will disappear. Everything feels just like it used to with us. The love, the intensity, it has never gone away. Could this be it? Can this really work?
Brian pulls away from me and I groan at the separation. “Let’s go have dinner before I lose the little bit of control I’m holding onto.” I smile up at him and he shakes his head. “You’re dangerous, woman.”
He stands up and heads out of the room and I follow him downstairs. The table is set and on it I see what looks like chicken parmesan and spaghetti. “You ordered food for us?”
“Who says I didn’t make it? Do you see any take-out containers?” I cross my arms looking at him in disbelief. He made breakfast earlier but I know that his cooking skills are very limited. When we first started dating he screwed up Kraft mac and cheese. “Okay I ordered. Damn, you can’t even pretend to give me the upper hand, huh?”
Little does he know he definitely has the upper hand in this relationship. I feel like I’m at his mercy completely. He has the ability to make me the happiest I’ve been in a long time, or to shattered me completely. I walk over to him and wrap my arms around his waist giving him a hug before sitting down at the table.
“So, Brian Evans, what do you do on a daily basis besides stalk me?”
He chokes on the water he is drinking. “Stalk you, huh? Well, for your information, princess, Mason, Jake, and I are getting into flipping houses. They have experience in construction, and I scout the houses and help with the simple stuff.”
“Are they the guys I saw you with at the restaurant?”
He nods his head. “You’ll meet them. We all served together so we are pretty close.”
“I can tell. One of them came up to me in Cancun and scolded me for the way I was treating you. I had no idea what they were talking about. Now I get where they might have seen it that way.” I remember how mad I was at the nerve he had to come up to me.
“Really? Who was it?” I can tell I have peaked his interest.
“I have no idea it’s not like he introduced himself before giving me a piece of his mind.” I play with my hair trying to distract myself from this awkward conversation.
“Well, you’ll meet them all, and they will be on their best behavior.” He says it with such finality I know that the guys will get a warning before I ever meet them.
“So what have you been doing all these years besides the Army?” I can’t say that I’m not curious. I’m sure there were other girls and as unproductive as it might be, I want to know if he loved any of them.
“Nothing.” His voice sounds stiff causing me to look up at him.
That’s all I get. One word. “Nothing? You did nothing for eight years?”
He looks up at me. “For six years I have missed you. Regretted every minute I wasn’t with you. Hated you for moving on when I couldn’t. Tortured myself by keeping up with what you were doing. Tried to fill the hole you left with meaningless sex. Drank ‘til I passed out on your wedding day wishing it was me you were with. For eight years I have been waiting to be where we are right now.”
I take a deep breath not knowing what to say. I knew he took the break hard from the things he has said, but I didn’t imagine that it affected him like that. The thought of him hurting, missing me when I was grieving for him, breaks my heart. I look into his eyes and see nothing but love, love for me. That was exactly what I needed to hear from him. I was nervous that this was just a challenge for him that he wanted to prove to himself that he could get me again.
I stand up. Needing him to know how much I love him too. How much I missed him. I walk over to him and sit down on his lap so I’m facing him. “I love you, Brian Evans. I never stopped.”
His mouth crashes against mine, our arms gripping each other. I thought I wasn’t ready for this, for us, for him. Sitting here with him, hearing what he said and feeling the way I do, I am. My hands grip the bottom of the t-shirt he is wearing and I pull it over his head, causing our kiss to break.
Brian pulls away and looks into my eyes. “I love you enough to wait for you, Jules. Whenever you are ready, I will be here. I didn’t say what I said to get you in my bed.”
“I know that. It just made me realize how much time we wasted because we thought the other person didn’t care. I don’t want to waste any more time. I want you.”
“Say it.” He voice is strained, and seems unsure.
I don’t need to ask what he wants me to say. I already know. “I love you, Brian Evans. I’m yours. Always and forever.”
He stands taking me with him. “I have been waiting to hear you say those words again.” Brian begins walking us up the steps and I squirm thinking about what is about to happen. “Keep doing that, babe, and I’ll take you right here against this damn wall.”
A chill runs through me from the tone of his gravelly voice. Brian kicks the door to the bedroom closed and tosses me onto the bed. I squeal as I fly through the air. Before I can take a breath, he is on top of me, kissing every inch of exposed skin he can get to.