“Jules!” I stop in the driveway and turn to him. “Please don’t go. I love you.”
I walk closer to him. “Love can’t live when it’s built on lies, Brian. You should have told me this, you should have trusted me enough to let me know. I can’t trust you. No matter how much I love you, it doesn’t mean anything without trust.”
I walk away and run to my house before the tears start to fall.
I pick up the phone. “Lacey, I need you to come pick me up.”
I can’t believe how badly Dan betrayed me and lied to me. He was going to kill me for money I would have given him had I known anything that was going on. Brian decided instead of coming to talk to me he would take the law into his own hands and kill my husband.
The pain is so bad that it’s like I can feel myself breaking apart. Each lie, each deception, each betrayal shattering a different part of my soul and my heart.
I survived this once.
I’m not sure I will this time.
Chapter Twenty Five
Brian
I watch the door to her house close as I slam the front door to mine. “Fuck!” I knew that when she found out she would leave. That there would be no way in hell she would stay with me after knowing what I did. Am I proud of my actions? No. But I sure as hell don’t regret them. I would rather have that asshole dead and Jules pissed off at me, than have let him hurt her.
I thought about going to her when I found out about his debt and his company, but I didn’t think she would believe me. We weren’t on the best terms and I doubt the conversation would have gone any better than the one we just had. The look of betrayal in her eyes got to me. The look of sadness when she walked away broke me.
This can’t be the end. I won’t let it be. I just got her back, we were in a good place. I hear a car outside and look to see Lacey at Jules’ door. She is holding onto her as they walk out to Lacey’s waiting car. Her face is red and blotchy, and I can see her shoulders shaking from the force of the tears still falling from her eyes. I caused that. I am the one who did that to her, again.
I know that Dan broke us up the first time, but if I wasn’t such a damn idiot, his plan would have never worked. He knew how much of a hot head I was and that seeing what I did would send me spinning. I played right into his hands and hurt Jules and myself in the process.
I grab my keys and get into the car needing to go to the hospital and see what’s going on with Ryan. I can’t believe my asshole father shot him. My father. When I saw him step into the light holding the gun to Jules’ head, I thought I was dreaming. Never in my life did I even consider the fact that he might have made it out of that fire. I have so many unanswered questions for him. Did he get out before the firemen came? Did he try to save my mother or even bother to look for me? I hate him.
If he wasn’t already dead that would be my first fucking stop. He targeted Jules because of me and when his hands were on her I swear I wanted to rip them off. I pull into the hospital lot praying that Ryan is going to be okay. He wanted to call for back up and I refused. Knowing what Jules was doing with the Andre family, there was no way I wanted to show up there with the cops.
When I walk into the waiting room, I see Hunter, Jake, and Mason. Mason is wearing a scrub top the hospital must have given him since he used his shirt on Ryan. “How is he?”
“He’s still in surgery. We don’t know anything yet and they really don’t want to talk to us. His parents are on the way.” Jake looks over at me. “What happened with Jules? I thought she would be here with you.”
I take a deep breath. “She left me when I told her what I told you guys on the way over. She basically said that she can’t trust me when all I’ve done is lie to her. Which I guess she is right, but I love that girl so damn much.”
He nods his head. “So what are you gonna do about it?”
“What do you mean?”
He stands up and walks over to me. “I mean we all put our asses on the line for her today. Ryan got fucking shot and you two are just gonna decide to call it quits now?”
“Jake, I’m not deciding anything, and even if I wasn’t with Jules I would have still gone after her today.”
He walks away from me without another word and while he is pissing me off I understand where he is coming from. All of the guys voiced their concerns when we were on our way to Jules. I didn’t listen to anyone though, all I could think of was getting to her. She blinds me from seeing anything but her. She always has.
“I don’t know if she is gonna be able to move past all the shit I laid on her today.”
“Yea, well Ryan isn’t here to baby your ass if that’s what you’re looking for.” Mason mumbles from one of the chairs. “You got two options, brother. You can sit here like a bitch and whine about what happened or you can fucking try to do something about it. If you pick the first option just go somewhere else so none of us have to listen to you.” Mason never sugar coats anything and he’s usually right.
I turn to Jake. “Call me as soon as you hear anything.”
I get in the car and track down Lacey’s address knowing that’s where they are. When I am standing in front of the door to the apartment, I knock hoping and praying that I can get Jules to talk to me. The door open and Lacey is standing in front of me.
“Now is not the time.” She starts to close the door but I catch it.
“Please just let me talk to her.”
She looks at me takes and step outside and closes the door. “First of all, she just passed out, cried herself to sleep is more like it. You need to give her time, Brian. She isn’t ready to see you.”
“How long? I need to be able to talk to her. To explain to her that everything I did was for her.”
“Listen, I get that.” Lacey has never been my biggest fan so this definitely comes as a shock. “But forcing yourself down her throat is not going to get you what you want. Nothing you say right now will get through to her.
I nod my head. “Will you keep me posted on how she is?”
“Sure.” I start to walk away and head back to my car. “Brian?” I turn around to see Lacey walking toward me. She gives me a hug and I have no idea why. “Thank you for saving her, for protecting her from him.”
“I love her. Always have, always will.”
Chapter Twenty Six
Julia
I sit on Lacey’s couch feeling like a zombie. It’s been a week since I last saw Brian. He has been calling and texting me almost every hour on the hour. He must have tracked down Lacey’s address because he has shown up here for the last three days.
I just don’t know what to say to him. I’ve been trying to talk to Lacey about everything and sort my head out, but it isn’t working. I will never be able to thank him enough for saving me that day but also from Dan. The problem is that he was okay with never telling me, with building our relationship on lies and deceit. He killed a man and framed another then seemed to go on with his life like nothing happened. I don’t hold anything he did when he was younger against him. I know how bad things were for him in that house and he was just a scared kid that night that finally saw a way out.
I don’t know that I can trust him though. That I can jump once again with him, for a third time. The day I found out everything I was a mess. I cried the entire night. All I could feel was pain, and loss. Just like eight years ago.
I went to see Ryan a couple days ago. The entire time I was praying that Brian wouldn’t show up. Ryan was in surgery for six hours but they were able to remove the bullet and luckily it missed his heart and lungs. I felt horrible knowing that I was the reason he was hurt. That if it hadn’t been for me, nothing would have ever happened to him.
There’s a knock at the door but I don’t move to answer it. Lacey is at work and if I’m being honest I already know who it is, Brian. “Open the door, Jules!” I sigh laying down on the couch and waiting out his visit. He bangs a few more times before the silence is back. I hug the pillow against my chest imagining for a minute that it’s him. That things aren’t so royally fucked up and that none of that shit ever happened.