“I’m not hiding. I just have no desire to see you,” I say as strong as I possibly can but know my voice is still a little shaky. I move to walk away from him when he grabs my arm. I turn to face him and he takes a step closer, forcing me to step back until my back hits the wall.
Brian takes another step and puts his hands on either side of my head. “You were hiding from me, Jules,” he slowly annunciates my name letting the sound drag from his lips. “I know you better than anyone, even the douchebag that you married. How is it, Jules? Does he make you scream the way I used to? Does he even know what to do with you?”
How dare he come back here after eight years and say shit like that to me? I try to think of some smart assed comment but right now all I need is air. I push one of his arms away and walk out into the bakery, grab my purse from behind the counter, and let Sara know I’ll be back later. When I look back, I see Brian in the same spot leaning against the wall and just watching me. I head for my car and take my phone out to call Lacey. She has been my friend since high school and the reason I survived when Brian broke my heart.
“Hey, babe.” Her cheery voice greets me not knowing the shit storm that is going on right now.
“Lace, he’s back.” My voice is cracking from the tears I’m trying to sustain.
“Who?” I know I’ve caught her off guard and couldn’t expect her to know what I’m talking about.
“Brian.” I say choking out the name I never thought I would say again.
“What? Why the hell would he come back here? What happened? Are you okay?” I can hear the fear in her voice that I’ll slip back into the person I was the first time he screwed me over.
“Can I come see you?” Lacey has her own real estate business so I have no idea if she is at the office or doing showings all day.
“Yea, I had one meeting today but I’ll call and reschedule it.” I can hear her rifling through papers.
“No you don’t have—“
“Shut up, and just get here,” she tells me in the voice I know I can’t argue with.
“Okay, I’m on my way now. You’re the best.”
“Tell me something I don’t know. See you soon, babe.”
“Okay, bye.” I hang up and do my best to calm the emotions coursing through me. Lacey’s office is only about a ten-minute drive and when I pull up in the driveway she is standing at the door.
I head inside with her and sit down on the couch in her office, bury my head in my hands, and let the first tears fall from my eyes. Lacey’s arms enclose me.
“What happened? What did he say?”
I groan. “He was such an asshole, Lace.” I recount the events to her and notice how pissed off she looks by the end of the story.
“What the fuck, Julia? I mean, what is he doing?”
I shake my head. “I have no idea. He left me, so why is he coming back here now after so long acting like he is jealous or something? I don’t even know what he was acting like. I do know that no matter how much I hate him that pull, that connection between us is still there.”
“You can’t go down that road again. You and Dan are doing great and have been since you got together. The other day you said you guys were talking about trying for a baby. You can’t let that asshole fuck everything up for you.” The door to the office opens and Lacey swears under her breath. “I thought I locked that shit. I’ll be right back.”
I get up and look in the mirror trying to tell myself I am strong enough to handle him being back.
“Get the fuck out of here!” I hear Lacey yell and I run out to see what’s wrong.
Brian is standing in the middle of the office staring at Lacey with a smirk on his face. When he sees me, his eyes roam over me and I can feel my body heating with a blush.
“Are you deaf? I said get the fuck out of here!” Lacey yells at him once more.
“Chill out, ice queen. I was just looking to see if there were any apartments for rent.” His voice is cool and has a hint of laughter behind it.
“Not for you, dick. I can’t believe you even had the nerve to come here.” Lacey takes an angry few steps toward him.
He holds his hands up in surrender. “Hey, in my defense the sign says Steven’s Realty. I had no idea it was your place.”
“It’s a married name, and now that you know you can get the hell out.”
Brian walks toward the door and opens it before turning back toward us. “See you ladies around town.”
He shuts the door and leaves us both standing there dumbfounded.
My heart is beating at twice its normal speed. I just want to curl into the fetal position that I spent most of the summer in when he left me. A part of me is still attached to him but I buried it long ago. Now that he is back in town that part is fighting to get out.
I look over at Lacey and she is standing there as much in disbelief as I am.
“What am I gonna do, Lace?”
“I have no idea, babe. He seems like a man on a mission, and if had to wager a guess, I would say you might be that mission.”
Just fucking great.
Chapter Three
Julia
I drive home trying to figure out how to tell Dan that Brian is back in town. He is definitely not going to be happy and I am too emotionally drained for an argument right now. I have to say compared to the hurricane of a relationship that Brian and I had, Dan and I barely fight. It’s really nice, but at times I feel like it’s a bit boring when we agree on almost everything. As much as he hurt me, seeing Brian today lit a flame in me that had been extinguished long ago. He always had a way of doing that, of setting me on fire and making me feel alive. Until the day he didn’t care anymore.
That summer was supposed to be the most amazing time of my life. Traveling all over Europe with Lacey, seeing things that I had been dreaming of since I was a little girl. What really happened was anything but that. I spent most of the days crying and depressed not understanding why he threw everything we had away. I wrote him a few letters but never received a response. A week before our trip ended, Lacey laid into me.
“That’s it!” Lacey storms in the door and slams it behind her. “You are getting the hell up! And enjoying the little time we have left here!” I look up to see her standing there with her hands on her hips.
“Lace I—“
“No. No more of this ‘I don’t want to.’ ‘I’m fine, you go out.’ ‘Maybe I’ll get a letter today’ crap.” I lower my eyes to the floor as I realize what a pathetic mess I have been. Lacey sits down beside me and puts her arm around me. “I get that he hurt you, babe, and trust me I will castrate him when we get back if you want me to, but you need to understand that you’re letting him win. You’re letting him control you from thousands of miles away.”
She’s right. Brian never wanted me to go away this summer maybe this was how he planned it. I have spent the entire time closed up in our apartment and grieving my relationship with him. Lacey is right, I need to get over Brian Evans because he was obviously over me. I smile at her and she jumps up.
“Hell yes! Now get out of those ratty sweatpants and into something that isn’t going to scare people.” I laugh as I get off the couch and head into our room. I say a silent goodbye to Brian. I don’t care if he begs me when we get home I am done with him.
I think I felt lighter after that day. The weight of our failed relationship wasn’t weighing me down constantly and while I wasn’t happy, I was definitely on my way to getting there.