In the ten minutes or so since I'd parked up and sat, watching people arrive and go in, I'd come to the conclusion that I was probably ten years too old to be there, which made most of the clientele too young to buy cigarettes, never mind alcohol. Also, in a clean pair of black jeans, an almost-ironed shirt, and my least tatty leather jacket, I was wearing way too many clothes.
Despite the chill of the evening – it was February, after all – the boys were all wearing tight little vests that showed off how many hours they'd spent down the gym, or untucked luridly coloured shirts that tried to hide the fact they didn't know where the gym was. The girls looked like they'd come out in their nightdresses. God, I felt old.
A new set of lights swept into the car park, and Jacob's rusty old cream Range Rover pulled up next to where I'd parked the bike. Clare waved through the window as she killed the motor and hopped down out of the driver's seat.
“Hi,” I said. I nodded to the car. “I thought for a moment Jacob had changed his mind about coming.”
“Oh no,” she replied with a little grimace. “He drew the line at just lending me the car.”
I eyed the skimpy little frock Clare was nearly wearing as I dumped my helmet on the Range Rover's back seat. “The way you're dressed I won't ask why you didn't come on the bike.”
She looked down at herself with a wry smile. “It would have been cold, wouldn't it?” she agreed, then nudged my arm. “Come on, Charlie, lighten up.”
“Lighten up? You'll be beating them off with a shitty stick looking like that and I'm the one Jacob's relying on to get you home in one piece,” I grouched. In view of her glam appearance I tried to do something with my untidy mop of pale reddish blonde hair, but it spent too much of its time stuffed under an Arai bike helmet to pretend to have a style now.
She grinned at me again. “Don't worry, if we walk in holding hands they'll all just assume we're gay.”
“Yeah,” I said sourly, “and I don't have to ask which one of us they'll think is butch.”
Clare locked the Range Rover's door and linked her arm through mine. “Well,” she said, a smile dimpling her lovely face, “we should both be safe then, hmm?”
To start with, we nearly didn't get into the New Adelphi Club at all. Gary's new boss man had employed some very useful-looking door staff. Two big guys I didn't recognise, which came as a bit of a surprise really, when I think about it. I thought I knew all the local hardcases.
Clare didn't have a problem. They waved her through staring at her legs so hard that afterwards I doubt they would have been able to pick her face out of a line-up.
I didn't merit such appreciation. I just got an arm like a steel girder across my path as one of them grabbed hold of the front of my jacket.
“Oi, can't you read?” he demanded. He jerked his head to the six-inch square sign half-hidden behind him on the wall, which was headed “Dress Code”. “No leather jackets and no denims!” he stated, stabbing a finger at the appropriate lines. God knows what he would have done if he'd known about the Swiss Army knife I always kept as an emergency tool kit in my jacket pocket.
I looked down at the meaty fist screwing up the leather. He had gold sovereign rings on three out of four fingers and a blurred blue tattoo disappearing up his wrist into the sleeve of his dinner jacket. It reappeared again over the top of his shirt collar, an indecipherable squiggle just to one side of the knot of his clip-on bow tie.
I couldn't help getting the feeling that if Clare and I had been dressed the other way round, she probably would have still walked straight in, but now wasn't the time to lose my rag. I always have the greatest respect for someone whose pain threshold allows a tattooist to stick so many needles into their neck.
“How about you let go of me and we'll start this again?” I said, keeping my voice reasonable.
“How about you just fuck off and come back when you're properly dressed?” he sneered, shoving me backwards half a step.
“How about you learn to pick up your teeth with broken fingers?” I shot back. He was pissing me off big time, and this was not professional behaviour. He was muscle and menace, not the right material for working the door. They should have kept him in a cage somewhere until they needed real trouble sorting out. I didn't think I qualified for the strong-arm tactics straight off.
“Hey, what's going on? You causing problems already, Charlie?”
We both turned, which is not easy when you've got someone practically lifting your feet off the floor.
It was Gary. He was wearing a white dinner jacket to distinguish himself from the underlings, and trying to look like Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. I don't think he quite pulled it off.
“It's all right, Len,” he said. “Charlie Fox is OK. I know her. What's the problem?”
The doorman slowly, and with great reluctance, uncurled his fingers from my jacket and put me down. “She's not properly dressed,” he muttered, a bully caught in the act by one of the teachers. He didn't quite shuffle his feet, but he came pretty close to it.
Gary gave me a studied glance. “That's about as properly dressed as she gets,” he said, flashing a quick smile. “I think we can bend the rules about the jeans just this once, but the boss man's in tonight so you'll have to lose the jacket,” he told me apologetically. “I'll check it for you.”
I shrugged out of my jacket and let him hand it over to the cloakroom staff. Len stood and glared at me like a lion that hasn't made a kill for weeks and who's just been whipped back from a freshly slaughtered antelope.
The other doorman was also dressed in a dinner suit, and sporting that comedy blend of joined beard and moustache that just circled his mouth. The rest of his head was shaved smooth of hair. Both of them were wearing walkie-talkies with clip-on mics and earpieces. Curly wires disappeared under their jacket collars.
The bald doorman had been leaning against the wall during the whole exchange. His only energy expenditure was to chew gum. He made no moves to get involved on either side. Now he grinned at me slyly as Clare and I passed through into the bowels of the club. It made my scalp itch.
“You'll have to tell me what you think of the place now it's been re-done,” Gary yelled down my ear over the thunderous beat of the music.
The narrow entrance way had opened out into the club proper. It had changed so much since I'd last been inside the old Adelphi that if it hadn't been for the unaltered façade I'd have thought they'd pulled the whole place down and started again.
We'd come out on what was now the first level, overlooking the basement dance floor. I looked up and saw the cellars weren't the only thing that had become open plan. The ceilings of the next two floors up had been partially dismantled, revealing bars and more dance floors. I didn't want to be impressed, but I couldn't help it.
Clare and I fought our way through the crush to one of the bars on the next level up where Gary gave us both a drink on the house. The full extent of his generosity became apparent when I looked at the prices, even though Clare just had a glass of dry white wine and I stuck to mineral water.
“So, when's the karaoke start?” Clare asked him, leaning close so he could hear her over the din.
“Oh you're going to have a bash at that are you?” he said, preening under the attention. Like most fellers he had to look up slightly to make straight eye contact with Clare. Particularly when she was wearing four-inch heels. “That's terrific,” he told her. “To be honest, it's been a bit slow to take off. The girl who's won it the last three Saturdays in a row isn't much cop, but she's got enthusiasm. The crowd seem to like her.”
He offered to take us up to the smaller dance floor where the contest was taking place and introduce Clare to the DJ who was in charge of it. “Dave Clemmens is a scream,” he said. “Just tell him what you want to sing and he'll look after you. No trouble.”