PJ WALLIS SAYS MONEY IS BETTER THAN A MAN, screamed the blog later that afternoon.
“What the hell is this? ‘Money is better than a man,’” Suzette scoffed loudly over the phone. “Say it ain’t so.”
Pandy had returned to her apartment and was trying to work, but the thought of the million dollars had made her too overwhelmed to concentrate.
“Aw, forget the headline,” Pandy said excitedly. “I was just going to call you. Something’s happened.” She paused dramatically. “I’m rich.”
“Oh, honey. I’m so happy for you. How?” Suzette asked politely.
“Well, Henry went back to my publishers and renegotiated, and now I’ve got a million-dollar contract.”
“Good for you!” Suzette said. “Now tell me. What are you going to wear on this date with Jonny Balaga? And how did this happen, anyway?”
“Jonny Balaga? Who cares about him?” Pandy snorted. She lowered her voice. “But in the meantime, American Express just offered me the Black Card. How do they know when someone signs a million-dollar contract? It makes you wonder if there are spies everywhere, or if it’s all just coincidence. You know—something good happens to you, and you let off a different energy that attracts other good things.”
“Like Jonny,” Suzette said.
“Jonny is just a side thing. Nothing is going to happen with Jonny,” Pandy scoffed. Thinking again of her good fortune, she added, “I’m also getting two awards. Will you come, please?”
“I’ll come over and help you choose something to wear for your date with Jonny. Oh, by the way, I told Angie, Portia, and Meghan about Jonny. I thought it was best that way. I didn’t want Meghan to get upset and think the wrong thing.”
“Ugh,” Pandy groaned. She’d forgotten about Meghan in her brief excitement over Jonny. “See? This is why I’m thinking I shouldn’t even go on this stupid date. If Meghan is upset, it’s not worth it.”
“She’s not upset,” Suzette broke in. “In fact, she’s just the opposite. In fact,” she repeated, “we all agree that you and Jonny might not be a terrible thing. Meghan wanted me to be sure to tell you that while Jonny wasn’t right for her, it doesn’t mean he isn’t right for someone. And why shouldn’t that someone be you?”
The question startled Pandy, enough so that it caused her to pause for several seconds while she considered which version of “Who cares?” Suzette might understand. The pause gave Suzette an opening; she blurted out: “We’re coming over right now to discuss it.”
She hung up before Pandy could object.
Forty-five minutes later, Pandy opened the door to find Suzette, Portia, and Meghan standing there, each clutching a bottle of white wine.
From the looks of them, Pandy guessed they’d been at one of those Upper East Side bistros when Suzette had called.
“Hello, my darlings,” Pandy said. “Please tell me someone has brought cigarettes.”
“Only five,” Meghan said.
“Give me one,” Pandy said quickly. “I’m celebrating.”
“What are you going to wear?” Portia asked breathlessly.
“I’m going to wear sleeveless white wool and put my hair up into a bun. For shoes, I’m thinking an off-white textured kitten heel. Simple jewelry.”
“Sleeveless white wool? On a date? That’s not very sexy,” Portia said.
“Oh, I’m not talking about the date,” Pandy continued blithely. “Didn’t Suzette tell you about my contract? It’s a huge deal, so I’m heading up to Henry’s office first. He’s going to take photographs of me signing the papers. I’ll meet Jonny afterward.”
She went into the kitchen to pour them each a nice tall glass of white wine.
Why was everyone so excited about Jonny and not her good fortune, she wondered, removing four slightly warm glasses from the dishwasher. They all knew how important her career was to her; they were also well acquainted with Jonny’s questionable reputation. An image of the million dollars—two big gold dollar signs flashing in Monica’s pupils—came to mind, and she smiled. In the shadow of the money, Jonny’s allure had faded and now seemed slightly tarnished.
Lining up the glasses, she wondered why she was even bothering to meet Jonny at all. Exiting the kitchen, she handed each of her friends a drink.
“Listen,” she began. “Now that I’ve—” She considered bringing up the million dollars again, but thought better of it. “Now that I’ve had a bit of success, I’m suddenly realizing that I really don’t need a man. In fact, you could say that my career is my husband. Although unlike a man, it’s always there for me.”
“Oh my lord. Don’t you ever say that. Especially to a man,” Meghan scolded, as if Pandy were a child.
“Now, listen,” Portia said gently, looking at Suzette and Meghan, who both nodded. “You haven’t had a proper boyfriend for three years. You’re beginning to look—”
“What?”
“Desperate.” Meghan sighed grimly.
“Oh, no.” Pandy groaned playfully. “Are we really having this conversation? Again? I had to have it ten years ago. Am I going to have to have it every ten years? I get it, okay? Maybe I never will be with a man again. But maybe I don’t want to be.”
“Oh, pish,” Suzette said. “Of course you do.”
“Please.” Pandy put down her glass. “I appreciate your concerns, but I don’t want you to be disappointed. Look at Jonny’s record: He’s slept with at least a hundred women, but hasn’t stayed with anyone for longer than two weeks. Not surprisingly, he has never managed to get married, although he, too, is nearly forty.
“Now me. I’ve had several serious boyfriends, all lasting two to three years. I’ve practically lived with some of them. And after two years, what happens? I get bored. Not with them, but with the sex. I’m sorry, but after you’ve had sex with the same man hundreds of times—”
“You know most women don’t feel that way, right?” Portia said nervously.
“I have to agree with Pandy,” Meghan said. “It does get boring.”
“It doesn’t if you’re really in love,” Suzette said. “And that, I’m afraid, is your problem,” she said victoriously to Pandy. “You’ve never been in love!”
“You’re a love virgin,” Portia said. “You’re nearly forty years old, and you’ve never really been in love.”
“But that’s not true!” Pandy exploded theatrically. “I was in love with every single one of those men I dated. Don’t you understand? That’s the problem. I think I’m in love with them and then all of a sudden, that ‘in love’ feeling goes away, and there’s no getting it back. Not to mention that I’m perfectly happy with my life right now. I don’t need the complications of a Jonny Balaga. Or any other man, for that matter.”
“You see? There’s the problem,” Portia said triumphantly. “You’re not vulnerable. With men, you need to show your vulnerable side. That’s why no one’s ever asked you to get married. When you don’t show vulnerability, it makes men think you don’t need them.”
“But I don’t need them,” Pandy insisted, thinking of her million dollars.
“Every woman needs love,” insisted Suzette.
“No, what every woman needs is a million dollars cash in her savings account. That she earned through her own hard work,” Pandy declared.